03-22-2018, 10:39 PM
Hmm...
Still peeking just barely over the lip of the fountain, I stare on with unblinking eyes, closely watching the gathering from no more than a few meters away. Nobody, not even the deranged clown leaning against the other end of the fountain, has noticed me. Granted it doesn’t really seem like they’ve even noticed each other. Other than a few words being exchanged, they’re all just sort of standing there... menacingly. Come on! Where’s the action!? Where’s the excitement!? Weren’t you guys all gonna start tearing each other apart? That’s what you’re all here for, right? Then get started already!
Of course, none of them respond to my silent pleas. Why would they? It’s not like I’m about to actually start making noise, or egging them on, or something like that. Like hell I want a fire wizard, a robot, and a deranged clown all turning on little old me. Also, come to think of it, where did that black-haired, gun-toting girl go? Wasn’t she here just a moment ago? Did I miss something?
Ah, whatever! It doesn’t matter whether she’s here, gone, or one of these people transformed! No matter what, I still don’t stand a chance! So instead, I’m just perfectly content to let them all deal with each other, whenever they actually get around to it, and grab the loli while they’re all distracted.
...
Okay...
I know that sounds more than a little bit weird, but it’s for totally non-weird purposes I swear! I’m not some common kidnapper!
...
Okay, maybe by definition it is, but shut up! I’m not a human anymore, I’m a spider! Giant spiders totally eat people!
...
Yeah, I mean I am still a human in mind, even if I'm not one in body. Where did that idea even come from, anyway? When did I start seeing people as prey rather than as enemies and potential allies? Anyway, new excuse! The battlefield is no place for a kid, therefore I have to get her away from here. See? Totally benevolent and not weird at all!
...
Yeah, I know...
I release my grip on the ledge and sink to the floor, closing my eyes and laying my face on the floor, slumped over in defeat. I’m just gonna... stop trying. All I’m doing is digging myself a deeper hole. Just... take whatever justification you need. The fact of the matter is I want out of here, and she probably wants out of here. Hopefully. Even if my intentions are weird, I’m doing something good! Probably. You can’t fault me for that. I pick myself up off the blank ground, planting my two front legs on the smooth stone of the fountain and pulling myself to peek at it once again. And again, my eight eyes fall upon all four figures, three standing and one cowering.
Ugh
Just fight already. What’s taking you guys so long? It can’t be that hard to find a reason to start killing each other! Come on, you obviously all hate each other! Fire cat lady! Start slinging some spells or something (But not at me please. Keep that faaaaar away). Robot! Iunno, open up your chest and reveal a gun or something? Or do whatever it is robots do. I don’t know! You’re all so varied! As for you clown... You’ve got some big teeth? And a big hole in your face? And a missing arm? Yeah, you’re kinda outmatched sorry. And lastly, for our resident goth loli. Just sit tight there, please. At least until they start firing. I don’t wanna have to expose myself and you’re in the perfect spot to drag away as soon as the clown is distracted...
Ah...
I suddenly come to a realization. Loli’s missing a hand and is looking a little bit woozy there, and clown’s missing an arm and a decent chunk of his face. Meanwhile, the fire cat lady and the robot are both entirely unharmed. So that must mean the loli and the clown were fighting earlier and possibly got interrupted? Suddenly everything makes sense...
Not!
I fall back behind the ledge, completely hidden from view again. What kind of monster is that little girl that she could inflict those kinds of wounds on someone? If she could do that to a presumably monstrous clown, what would she be able to do to me? Who was the one being saved here? Sure, she was the one cowering in fear, and there was someone standing protectively in front of her, but she wounded the clown much more than he wounded her. Were they even saving her in the first place? Maybe some other business brought them forth.
Gaaaah!
I furiously rub my head with my third leg. Just what’s going on here? The longer I look at it, the more I find out, the more than this little plan of mine sounds like a bad idea. Clearly, I missed some important prologue here. Isn’t there supposed to be some sort of obvious choice in these situations? What sort of game/anime/whatever-this-is that it doesn’t have an obviously correct choice for our isekai’d protagonist?
The sound of screeching metal tears through the air, and I freeze up for just a moment. Was this it? Were they finally getting to the meat of the matter? For hopefully the final time, I sneakily hoist myself up, eight unblinking eyes at the ready. A blaze of fire sears a smoky path right across my vision, and if it had been possible, I’m sure my heart would’ve skipped a beat. I’m sorry Miss Fire Wizard Cat Lady! I didn’t mean to be so rude earlier, please keep those flames further away from me!
The goth loli seems to have the same sort of reaction I do, throwing herself back with a quiet yelp as the fireball washes against the ground just in front of her. Luckily, that display also catches the clown’s attention, and he soon turns towards the cat lady who is now even more on fire. I wanna leave already. Nai wa...
But no! This is my chance! The clown’s distracted with the flaming cat, and the machine has his back to me. If I go now, they shouldn’t notice her disappearing. I just have to hope that they don’t turn around at an inopportune time. Alright, here we go... Steeling my resolve, I straighten up completely, rising to my full height. I mean, I knew it already, but wow I am short compared to these guys... Enough of that, I’m just distracting myself from the task at hand. Grab the loli! Let's go! I coil up my legs beneath me, ready to dart out and scoop the small girl up.
And a blinding snowstorm erupts from the machine. Chilly winds slam into me, freezing me down to my very being. I can feel my insides icing over! I need to act fast, but through the whirling snow, I can’t see my target. I don’t need to, though. I remember where she is. As long as she hasn’t moved, this should go off without a hitch.
I focus as many of my many eyes as I can on the spot I last saw her and hurl myself forward. Not a moment passes before the black and blue of her small, terrified figure fades back into view. Right on target! Of course, as small as she is, I’m even smaller. Her short figure looms over me as I dart noiselessly right up to her feet. Gotcha! I cheer triumphantly to myself as I tackle her legs right out from under her, catching her with my second pair of spidery legs just before she collapses on my back.
Guh
She’s heavier than I thought... I falter for a moment, my legs threatening to give out beneath me as I catch all of her falling weight at once. Still, I can handle this! It takes a second for me to brace myself, but I straighten up again, this time properly prepared for lifting. Still holding her above me, just in case she goes and falls off, I take off running, my other six legs pumping furiously. If my calculations were correct, this should take us well away from the battle. Unfortunately, I don’t know about the snowstorm. Who knows how big the refrigerator made-
And just like that, we burst free of it.
Huh?
I blink rapidly, the sounds of battle and raging wind swiftly disappearing behind us as we retreat at full tilt, quickly being replaced only by the clicking of my chitinous legs on the featureless ground. Was it really that easy? Did I really just get out of that without a hitch? Not only did no one seem to notice me, but the girl I’m carrying doesn’t really seem to be struggling either. Well, that was a bit unexpected...
Still peeking just barely over the lip of the fountain, I stare on with unblinking eyes, closely watching the gathering from no more than a few meters away. Nobody, not even the deranged clown leaning against the other end of the fountain, has noticed me. Granted it doesn’t really seem like they’ve even noticed each other. Other than a few words being exchanged, they’re all just sort of standing there... menacingly. Come on! Where’s the action!? Where’s the excitement!? Weren’t you guys all gonna start tearing each other apart? That’s what you’re all here for, right? Then get started already!
Of course, none of them respond to my silent pleas. Why would they? It’s not like I’m about to actually start making noise, or egging them on, or something like that. Like hell I want a fire wizard, a robot, and a deranged clown all turning on little old me. Also, come to think of it, where did that black-haired, gun-toting girl go? Wasn’t she here just a moment ago? Did I miss something?
Ah, whatever! It doesn’t matter whether she’s here, gone, or one of these people transformed! No matter what, I still don’t stand a chance! So instead, I’m just perfectly content to let them all deal with each other, whenever they actually get around to it, and grab the loli while they’re all distracted.
...
Okay...
I know that sounds more than a little bit weird, but it’s for totally non-weird purposes I swear! I’m not some common kidnapper!
...
Okay, maybe by definition it is, but shut up! I’m not a human anymore, I’m a spider! Giant spiders totally eat people!
...
Yeah, I mean I am still a human in mind, even if I'm not one in body. Where did that idea even come from, anyway? When did I start seeing people as prey rather than as enemies and potential allies? Anyway, new excuse! The battlefield is no place for a kid, therefore I have to get her away from here. See? Totally benevolent and not weird at all!
...
Yeah, I know...
I release my grip on the ledge and sink to the floor, closing my eyes and laying my face on the floor, slumped over in defeat. I’m just gonna... stop trying. All I’m doing is digging myself a deeper hole. Just... take whatever justification you need. The fact of the matter is I want out of here, and she probably wants out of here. Hopefully. Even if my intentions are weird, I’m doing something good! Probably. You can’t fault me for that. I pick myself up off the blank ground, planting my two front legs on the smooth stone of the fountain and pulling myself to peek at it once again. And again, my eight eyes fall upon all four figures, three standing and one cowering.
Ugh
Just fight already. What’s taking you guys so long? It can’t be that hard to find a reason to start killing each other! Come on, you obviously all hate each other! Fire cat lady! Start slinging some spells or something (But not at me please. Keep that faaaaar away). Robot! Iunno, open up your chest and reveal a gun or something? Or do whatever it is robots do. I don’t know! You’re all so varied! As for you clown... You’ve got some big teeth? And a big hole in your face? And a missing arm? Yeah, you’re kinda outmatched sorry. And lastly, for our resident goth loli. Just sit tight there, please. At least until they start firing. I don’t wanna have to expose myself and you’re in the perfect spot to drag away as soon as the clown is distracted...
Ah...
I suddenly come to a realization. Loli’s missing a hand and is looking a little bit woozy there, and clown’s missing an arm and a decent chunk of his face. Meanwhile, the fire cat lady and the robot are both entirely unharmed. So that must mean the loli and the clown were fighting earlier and possibly got interrupted? Suddenly everything makes sense...
Not!
I fall back behind the ledge, completely hidden from view again. What kind of monster is that little girl that she could inflict those kinds of wounds on someone? If she could do that to a presumably monstrous clown, what would she be able to do to me? Who was the one being saved here? Sure, she was the one cowering in fear, and there was someone standing protectively in front of her, but she wounded the clown much more than he wounded her. Were they even saving her in the first place? Maybe some other business brought them forth.
Gaaaah!
I furiously rub my head with my third leg. Just what’s going on here? The longer I look at it, the more I find out, the more than this little plan of mine sounds like a bad idea. Clearly, I missed some important prologue here. Isn’t there supposed to be some sort of obvious choice in these situations? What sort of game/anime/whatever-this-is that it doesn’t have an obviously correct choice for our isekai’d protagonist?
The sound of screeching metal tears through the air, and I freeze up for just a moment. Was this it? Were they finally getting to the meat of the matter? For hopefully the final time, I sneakily hoist myself up, eight unblinking eyes at the ready. A blaze of fire sears a smoky path right across my vision, and if it had been possible, I’m sure my heart would’ve skipped a beat. I’m sorry Miss Fire Wizard Cat Lady! I didn’t mean to be so rude earlier, please keep those flames further away from me!
The goth loli seems to have the same sort of reaction I do, throwing herself back with a quiet yelp as the fireball washes against the ground just in front of her. Luckily, that display also catches the clown’s attention, and he soon turns towards the cat lady who is now even more on fire. I wanna leave already. Nai wa...
But no! This is my chance! The clown’s distracted with the flaming cat, and the machine has his back to me. If I go now, they shouldn’t notice her disappearing. I just have to hope that they don’t turn around at an inopportune time. Alright, here we go... Steeling my resolve, I straighten up completely, rising to my full height. I mean, I knew it already, but wow I am short compared to these guys... Enough of that, I’m just distracting myself from the task at hand. Grab the loli! Let's go! I coil up my legs beneath me, ready to dart out and scoop the small girl up.
And a blinding snowstorm erupts from the machine. Chilly winds slam into me, freezing me down to my very being. I can feel my insides icing over! I need to act fast, but through the whirling snow, I can’t see my target. I don’t need to, though. I remember where she is. As long as she hasn’t moved, this should go off without a hitch.
I focus as many of my many eyes as I can on the spot I last saw her and hurl myself forward. Not a moment passes before the black and blue of her small, terrified figure fades back into view. Right on target! Of course, as small as she is, I’m even smaller. Her short figure looms over me as I dart noiselessly right up to her feet. Gotcha! I cheer triumphantly to myself as I tackle her legs right out from under her, catching her with my second pair of spidery legs just before she collapses on my back.
Guh
She’s heavier than I thought... I falter for a moment, my legs threatening to give out beneath me as I catch all of her falling weight at once. Still, I can handle this! It takes a second for me to brace myself, but I straighten up again, this time properly prepared for lifting. Still holding her above me, just in case she goes and falls off, I take off running, my other six legs pumping furiously. If my calculations were correct, this should take us well away from the battle. Unfortunately, I don’t know about the snowstorm. Who knows how big the refrigerator made-
And just like that, we burst free of it.
Huh?
I blink rapidly, the sounds of battle and raging wind swiftly disappearing behind us as we retreat at full tilt, quickly being replaced only by the clicking of my chitinous legs on the featureless ground. Was it really that easy? Did I really just get out of that without a hitch? Not only did no one seem to notice me, but the girl I’m carrying doesn’t really seem to be struggling either. Well, that was a bit unexpected...
![[Image: 1NDUEKD.png?1]](https://i.imgur.com/1NDUEKD.png?1)