Human Revolution [There Are No Lines]

[Hiro Protagonist]

As the samurai showered off the grime and blood collected through the business of verse-saving, he relaxed under the hot water. Enjoying the simple pleasure of something that hadn't been available in the medieval verse of Camelot, he was reaffirmed in his belief in the superiority of Coruscant. Suddenly, he heard a wet thump near his foot, and reached down to pick up what was surely a dropped loofah.

"Squuerrk!"

Down below on the ground level, the exterminator and the building manager paused their negotiation. "Did you hear that?" The super said. The exterminator nodded slowly, and sighed, opening the back of his truck. "Sounded like a scream." The man in the yellow jumpsuit nodded. "Yep, that'll do it. Full service then?"

Hiro threw the squirming, slippery thing against the shower wall with a wet splat. "What the FUCK?!" The ronin yelled, watching it flop pitifully in the water. It looked like some sort of a cross between a guinea pig and an owl. "Squeeerk..." It blurted pitifully, before expiring. Hiro turned off the water, and stepped out of the shower to grab a towel. He dried his hair and fastened the towel around his waist, just in time to see another of the things pop out of his toilet with a splash and a chittering cry. "Fuck! No! No fucking way!" He moved quickly, slamming the toilet lid shut on it's head before it could leap out onto the tile. Even faster, he dashed out of the bathroom and saw....oh no. 

Now that the lights were on, he could see the whole apartment illuminated fully...and absolutely covered in the fluffy pig-things, squarking and squeaking in the light. Even on the coffee table, clustered around the new addition he'd dropped on it. They'd even managed to work it out of the cylinder, clever little bastards. And wait....what was that white stuff all over the shiny new blad-

"Motherfuckers!" Hiro darted forward and smacked one of the wide-eyed little pets off the blade, which it had just finished desecrating. "Computer!" The samurai barked. "What the fuck are these things?"

He picked up the dripping sword by the thankfully untouched handle as the things stared at him and chirped, the apartment's servant-intelligence answering. "The creatures currently infesting this hab are known as Porgs. Porgs are a non-native species to Coruscant, originally from a sea world in the far corner of-" 

Hiro cut the computer voice off as he stalked around the table, heading to the kitchen to grab a paper towel to wipe off the blade. "I don't give a fuck where they're from, why are they shitting on my stuff?!"

The smooth monotone voice went on. "Summoned here by a Prime, Porgs took to the relatively clean sewers of the upper tiers as a natural aquatic habitat. They have been recorded as purged no less than three separate times, but experience resurgences in times of population flux."

Hiro facepalmed and swung the now cleaned Chidori Blade around the kitchen, eyeing the scurrying little things. "Computer, call up for a cleaning bot. Please. There's going to be a mess."

"Certainly, sir."

The silicon samurai stalked forward in nothing but a towel, raising the blade. "Shit on my stuff, will you, you little rats with wings?"

"Fweeeerk?"

-schlick-

"You better believe you're fweeerked."

****************

After the cleaning robot had mopped up all the porg carcasses and detritus, not to mention the piles of feathers and nests they'd had the opportunity to establish in his vacant apartment, Hiro sat down on the couch. He'd swabbed his new weapon with a disinfectant and started to test out the balance and weight of the steel. He was a little more than surprised to find that if he really concentrated, the metal became ensheathed in a crackling corona of electricity. Impressive. And useful. He was currently using the electrified blade to slice pieces of bread off of a loaf, resulting in perfect instant toast.

He'd gotten redressed in a more casual outfit, figuring he'd take some time to relax and watch the TV. Besides, he wasn't in a rush to get back to work. Even though he'd been on vacation, it had felt like work. As saving the world should. The ronin wondered if this brought his total "saved the world" count up to two. As he was busy pondering, and deciding that the Empire wouldn't mind if he waited until tomorrow to bring them the sword for analysis, he was proven wrong.

By a knock on the door. 

A very forceful knock on the door.

THWUMP

The door was flung open and a squadron of Stormtroopers could be seen securing a perimeter. Through the door walked a man in a long black trenchcoat, studded with metal rings and Imperial insignias, with a thick flak jacket on over his chest. His hair was swept back into a ponytail, and his right eye was replaced with some sort of ocular augmetic. Seeing Hiro frozen in surprise on the couch, he gestured to the troopers behind him. "Secure the Artifact."

Hiro stood up, but turned the sword on it's side, before voicing his complaints. "You know I was going to come down to HQ as soon as I'd settled in right? Uhh..." He looked for a name and rank insignia, but there was none. The stormtrooper took the Chidori Blade from him and slide it into a plastic containment cylinder. "Besides, where's Commander Caasjuun? She knows how I operate, and she knew I was ba-"

The man interrupted him before Hiro could get another word in. "The Commander is temporarily reassigned. And you are by no means reinstated quite yet, Mr Protagonist." He flashed the ocular implant over Hiro's body with a blue light. "Your reinstatement is contingent upon the decision you make in the next five seconds. Come with me on your own recognizance or be dragged out of here."

The samurai was aghast. "And who the fuck are you?"

The man held up a gear-like badge. 

"Department Head Cawl Kaelvala. Direct subordinate to Doctor Gero...."

The next words filled Hiro with a cold dread he couldn't explain.

"And Chief Engineer of the Android Project."