02-28-2018, 01:30 AM
(This post was last modified: 02-28-2018, 01:36 AM by Kelly MacAryn.)
Terrence, who everyone insisted on calling Rampage for reasons that continued to escape him, stood up from his seat on the countertop of the breakroom kitchenette and strode over to the coffeemaker. He wasn't terribly interested in Grumps' reading habits. What Fuse would end up doing to the coffeemaker on the other hand was something he'd been wondering all morning - it's just that nobody else would let him get close enough to the damn thing to really give it a good look.
"Don't even think about it." said Sarge, not even bothering to look up from his newspaper.
"Why not?" asked Terrence, spreading his arms wide as though presenting a great big pallet of persecuted innocence for the world to see.
"Because you're going to take whatever Fuse did and make it worse. It's a bomb now, and you just cannot leave that shit alone. You know it. I know it. Scrubsey knows it - "
Hearing her name, the squadron's paperwork czar cleared her mental logjam over Hammer's impossible-to-process aversion to ducks and exclaimed. "He's right! That is a definitely a thing that I know!"
"-so don't even pretend, son. If we let you touch that thing, you're going to say something like, 'hot damn, if Fuse had just added more French Roast this would've made a passable Class-A Thermal Detonator'. And then we're going to have to tackle you to stop you from adding more beans and turning this entire floor into an espresso-scented crater."
Rampage put his duravlex-gauntleted hand on his chin and thought about that, looking to his comrades for support - and found that half of them were watching Granny criticize Grumps' reading material and half of them were nodding and making conciliatory sounds of general agreement.
"He's got you in a box, man." said Rooster. "You should probably just sit back down."
"Don't even think about it." said Sarge, not even bothering to look up from his newspaper.
"Why not?" asked Terrence, spreading his arms wide as though presenting a great big pallet of persecuted innocence for the world to see.
"Because you're going to take whatever Fuse did and make it worse. It's a bomb now, and you just cannot leave that shit alone. You know it. I know it. Scrubsey knows it - "
Hearing her name, the squadron's paperwork czar cleared her mental logjam over Hammer's impossible-to-process aversion to ducks and exclaimed. "He's right! That is a definitely a thing that I know!"
"-so don't even pretend, son. If we let you touch that thing, you're going to say something like, 'hot damn, if Fuse had just added more French Roast this would've made a passable Class-A Thermal Detonator'. And then we're going to have to tackle you to stop you from adding more beans and turning this entire floor into an espresso-scented crater."
Rampage put his duravlex-gauntleted hand on his chin and thought about that, looking to his comrades for support - and found that half of them were watching Granny criticize Grumps' reading material and half of them were nodding and making conciliatory sounds of general agreement.
"He's got you in a box, man." said Rooster. "You should probably just sit back down."