Bonus Request Topic/Quest Turn-in Topic

[Dane Regan]

Link to topic
Quest or Personal Storyline? Personal Storyline. 
Participating characters (please list): Hecate Rothchild, Warren Zimmer. 
Total character count including spaces:  Hecate Rothchild (2473 Words, 13,087 Characters.)  Warren Zimmer (1906 Words,  10,097 characters.) 
Total word count: (Full Word Count combined: 4673.) 

Also on a related note, bumping the previous one. 

I think you might have missed out a post or two when counting. I got 2695 words/14345 characters for Hecate. And 2200 words/11617 characters for Warren by my count. (Using wordcounter.net).

Anyway. Participation rewards for all (a higher up will give you the OM later).

Hecate: 143.45 OM
Warren: 116.17 OM

Updated.

---

Link to topic
Quest or Personal Storyline? Personal Storyline
Participating characters (please list):  Hecate Rothchild, Warren Zimmer 
Total character count including spaces: 30, 187 (Hecate Rothchild)  34, 123  (Warren Zimmer) 
Total word count: 5512 Words (Hecate)  6433 Words (Warren Zimmer) 

Your numbers match up this time - so I guess you just missed out a post or two when counting before.

Hecate, I think the main thing keeping you from getting a great bonus for your writing in this thread is a lack of proofreading. There are occasional issues with the cases of letters (including the odd lowercase i), and some missing punctuation (like no full stop/period at the end of your post), and so on. Content-wise, I like what you write, and what you're doing. Your posts aren't hugely long, and there's nothing stopping you from spending maybe another couple of minutes going over them before you hit send. 

Warren, are some minor grammatical errors, but your posts are usually tidy. Most are missing commas. You suffer a lot from telling, rather than showing. Sometimes you do both, which leads to unnecessary repetition and breaks the flow of your writing. For example, at the start of your first post, you described Hecate's swords as being impressive. Then, moments later, had Warren say he was impressed. You don't need to do both. You're a fast writer, and I think taking a few extra moments to think before typing could benefit you. You also tend to write down a lot of dialogue at once. I get you want to achieve a lot with your post, and you can Hecate aren't writing each other's characters, but I'd assume you can talk to each other on discord or with PMs to clarify things - maybe have Hecate lean forwards and seem interested, or have her wave her hand signifying Warren to continue. People don't tend to talk to each other with large essays, even when explaining something. Lastly, there's nothing wrong with you adding an extra bit of description to your posts. It's very Warren-centric. Warren did X or Y because he wants Z. Set the scene a little, what does Warren see? Add a bit of extra detail, it can help avoid it being repetitive.

If either of you wants some clarification on anything, feel free to PM me (I might be slow though, I'm balancing this with Uni). 

Participation Bonuses (a higher up will give you the OM later):
Hecate: 301.87 OM
Warren: 341.23 OM

Updated.