11-07-2017, 04:33 PM
@Marisa:
For thief:
>The part of your move that allows you to use someone else's item is completely redundant. You have mimic.
>You never described how she even steals items.
>You repeat and contradict yourself fairly often within your move. I advise you reread it and rewrite it. Look at Demitri's move if you want an example of something similar.
For Berlin:
>Almost good, but a prime with 2 SPD would be able to run away from it. 15 ft is a really short range. And you never mentioned where the doll came from and how long it takes to summon/take out her pockets to attack with.
Comet:
>Revise this, it would take you about 2 and a half minutes to get that high with 4 SPD and super speed. That's not including the time it takes to head back down.
>This move is basically a cutsceen. So, even with reasonable timings and you being specific, I am 90% sure it'd get denied. Moves should be something like, "when flying higher than an opponent, Marisa flies straight down at full speed aiming to crash into them".
For thief:
>The part of your move that allows you to use someone else's item is completely redundant. You have mimic.
>You never described how she even steals items.
>You repeat and contradict yourself fairly often within your move. I advise you reread it and rewrite it. Look at Demitri's move if you want an example of something similar.
For Berlin:
>Almost good, but a prime with 2 SPD would be able to run away from it. 15 ft is a really short range. And you never mentioned where the doll came from and how long it takes to summon/take out her pockets to attack with.
Comet:
>Revise this, it would take you about 2 and a half minutes to get that high with 4 SPD and super speed. That's not including the time it takes to head back down.
Quote:but due to the speed she is going at trying to stall it with brute strength is not recomended.>This does not make sense. Maybe I'm being dumb, but I don't understand what you're trying to say.
>This move is basically a cutsceen. So, even with reasonable timings and you being specific, I am 90% sure it'd get denied. Moves should be something like, "when flying higher than an opponent, Marisa flies straight down at full speed aiming to crash into them".