Bonus Request Topic/Quest Turn-in Topic

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Fighting the false emperor: http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=8933
41,538 characters
7784 words
FOR QUESTS: Approved (Imperial Disarray)
Comments: Hi

-FORMAT. The biggest thing to remember when putting your work forward for someone else to enjoy is presentation. It has to be pleasing on the eyes first and foremost. This is true for chefs who make their plates look good, or an artist that is ensuring your eyes focuses on particular details. For a writer, you have to organize your writing to make it easy and pleasant to look at. Try to break up paragraphs with at least one space, and try to avoid huge long paragraphs.

-DIALOGUE. Every time someone new talks, start a new paragraph. This helps with the above point: It just makes it easier to read. If you make a giant paragraph (like post #3), then the reader will have a hard time in the middle of knowing where they are, and even harder a time in knowing who is talking. You did fix this later, but that leads to another point:

-CONSISTENCY. Your format changed often. Sometimes you would have a script-style format that would feature mostly dialogue (with no narrative details) or you would have a roleplay with bulky paragraphs. I have a feeling that laziness probably played a part in some of the skimpier posts, because you clearly are capable of more.

+CONTENT. The writing itself was solid. You use good details and paint a picture very well. I thought the story itself was quality. I especially enjoyed some of the NPCs that you created and used. It felt like it wasn't just a story about 13-Jzall, but a story with an ensemble cast, which is very important when doing lost quests like this.

Result: I don't judge this to warrant a bonus, and thus the 10k word limit stands, and this quest is ultimately not approved. You are free to continue it and re-submit. Good luck either way, man, you are improving by leaps and bounds.