10-06-2017, 05:03 PM
@Alex:
Short foreword:
Generally, your moves tend to be very descriptive from a lore standpoint, but lack information from a mechanical standpoint. We need to know stuff about how long it takes to reload, how fast your guns can shoot, etc. Assume someone reading your move doesn't know everything about the properties of guns. Parts of your moves, such as when you mention lore relating to titans and so on, doesn't help a reader to understand the actual move itself. That kind of stuff is probably better put under the character section of your roster, unless used as a direct measure of the moves capabilities (as you tended to repeat yourself within your moves). You can include it if you want, but all that's needed is what the move does, how it works, what it looks like, and so on.
Kraber-AP Anti Material Sniper Rifle
You'll need a major drawback to get that kind of strength with only 2 ATK.
What's the fire rate of the sniper rifle (as in, if he has a target lined up perfectly, how quickly can he shoot?).
Hammond P2016
What's the range? ~5m to 60m? Further? Clarify.
What's the fire rate?
How long does it take to reload? Does he have limited ammo, or summon more bullets on the fly? Also, does he have to stand still and focus to reload, or can he do so while running?
Grapple Launchers
Be more specific. How fast does the grapple move? How fast can it pull Alex? How fast can it pull others? Does it take time to aim, or set up for another use? How long is this? Does he have to focus and stand still?
This might cost 300 more OM since it has two uses: pull you to someone else, and pull them to you.
Short foreword:
Generally, your moves tend to be very descriptive from a lore standpoint, but lack information from a mechanical standpoint. We need to know stuff about how long it takes to reload, how fast your guns can shoot, etc. Assume someone reading your move doesn't know everything about the properties of guns. Parts of your moves, such as when you mention lore relating to titans and so on, doesn't help a reader to understand the actual move itself. That kind of stuff is probably better put under the character section of your roster, unless used as a direct measure of the moves capabilities (as you tended to repeat yourself within your moves). You can include it if you want, but all that's needed is what the move does, how it works, what it looks like, and so on.
Kraber-AP Anti Material Sniper Rifle
Quote:pierce through thick armour, targets hiding behind hard cover and turn infantry-sized targets into pink mist
Quote:ATTACK:
0: Basic. Your character hits like a weak or elderly human.
1: Healthy human strength.
2: Very strong for a normal human.
3: Almost unbelievably powerful. Required for near realistic-strength firearms.
4: Beyond normal human strength. Can break concrete with normal moves.
5: Overwhelmingly strong. Can mostly use firearms at normal strength.
10: Terrifyingly strong. Can pierce steel plating with normal moves.
20: Can level buildings with normal moves.
You'll need a major drawback to get that kind of strength with only 2 ATK.
Quote:Alexander's Kraber can hold a maximum of ten shots before a reload.How long does it take to reload? Does he have limited ammo, or summon more bullets on the fly? Also, does he have to stand still and focus to reload, or can he do so while running?
What's the fire rate of the sniper rifle (as in, if he has a target lined up perfectly, how quickly can he shoot?).
Hammond P2016
Quote:This semi-automatic handgun uses 9x19mm Parabellum, .40 S&W or .45 ACP cartridges with magazines holding twenty-five to thirty rounds depending on the cartridge.That's variable, so would increase the move cost by 300. Also, the difference between the cartridges isn't explained outside of the number of rounds.
What's the range? ~5m to 60m? Further? Clarify.
What's the fire rate?
How long does it take to reload? Does he have limited ammo, or summon more bullets on the fly? Also, does he have to stand still and focus to reload, or can he do so while running?
Grapple Launchers
Be more specific. How fast does the grapple move? How fast can it pull Alex? How fast can it pull others? Does it take time to aim, or set up for another use? How long is this? Does he have to focus and stand still?
This might cost 300 more OM since it has two uses: pull you to someone else, and pull them to you.