08-28-2017, 06:20 PM
Quote:I regret everything.
From black, the next advert fades in. Overlayed on the screen in the bottom right corner is some small yellow text:
"[Insert terms of use here]"
The scene shows a couple, a teenaged boy and girl, sitting together on a wooden bench. Behind them are cardboard cutouts of trees and an obvious stock photo of Minas Tirith printed out on A4 and stuck to a sign. All this is in a green room with green fabric draped over the floor and far walls.
The girl speaks in obviously exaggerated and forced tones. "Let's take a selfie together! That is a really fun thing that people do together."
The guy replies in complete monotone. "Yes. Let us do that, my girlfriend. As we are on a date that is something we should do."
The girl reaches into her pocket, fumbling and trying to get her phone out of the small and tight storage area. Eventually, she manages and reaches forwards holding her phone to try and fit both her and her 'boyfriend' into the photo. Again, she speaks in the same way as before. "Oh no! My arm is not long enough to fit both me and my boyfriend into the photo. And I can't fit in the beautiful-" she gestures at the Minas Tirith photo "-scenery. If only my arm was longer. If only I had some kind of selfie assisting device."
From the left of the screen, a man wearing armour made of cardboard with three selfie sticks strapped to his waist and a cheap plastic mask with Dane's face printed on runs past. He holds up a wad of papers, on the back of which the word "script" is written in big bold letters. He speaks, pausing every couple of words. "Never... fear. The selfie... stick man... is here?"
The guy on the bench looks towards the 'selfie... stick man'. Apparently unphased by him not being a stickman, he talks again, still in dull monotone.
"Wow. Selfie-stick man. My hero. Have you come to assist us in this selfie dilemma."
Selfie-stick man drops the 'script' and turns towards the camera, showing a thumbs up. "Yes, I have. My... erm..." He reaches down searches through the mess of paper before grabbing one of the sheets and standing back my. "Fan!" He pauses. "For only 50 omni-credits you can buy a selfie stick."
"Wow! What is a selfie stick?" the girl asks, "will it help me take a good selfie with my boyfriend on our date?"
"Why... yes of.... course it will. You see, if you attach it to your phone (or tablet) like so." The man tries to ram one of the sticks from his belt into the phone while still looking at the camera and away from the girl and boy. As a consequence, both fall to the floor with a loud thud. From offscreen someone reaches in with a phone ready connected to a selfie stick and passes it to the selfie stick man, who in turn passes it to the girl.
"Wow! Science sure is amazing if it can create devices to let you take selfies from a bigger distance. Thank you selfie stick man!"
Still facing the camera, selfie stick man holds up his other two selfie sticks, dropping the paper again. "No. Thank you!" He pauses, looking left and right. "I must go. My people need me... Selfie stick man, away!" He turns, running off the right of the screen. As he runs, both of his arms lay stretched out behind him, still holding the selfie sticks.
A few seconds later someone in a black costume with paper bat ears enters from the left of the screen and chases after him. "You will never get away from me!"
The screen fades to black with the couple silently talking, the girl holding up the selfie stick and emphasising that she is taking photos by using both hands to hold the selfie stick.
White text appears on the screen in big, bold, impact font.
"Get your selfie sticks today! Only 50 Omni-Credits! Call 420-69-selfie today or go to our website at www.self.ie/buy and use the code DANE_FOR_DA18_WINNER to get 1% off!"
The terms and conditions text still remains, unchanged from the start, until both lines of writing fade away allowing for the next advert to play...