Entombed. (Semi-conscious stream of thought/Labyrinth of memory-woven illusions)

[Gildarts]

I honestly wondered if it had been easier if I had just been killed by the falling rocks, rather than the stone angels freezing me and making me become one of them. I couldn’t see, nor feel, to know if I had wings mounted on my back. I had to guess no, considering I wasn’t the type of person who got “wings” symbolically or physically. But maybe I’m just not that inventive or don’t view myself that way. If I could shrug now, I would, but I’m a stone angel, paralyzed forever more. Poe’s raven would’ve snickered at me.

But why had Behemoth, that smarmy bastard, spared my life? This was much more painful but it wasn’t really that personal, though I’m pretty sure I’ve stared at the face of evil, when they tortured me in Coruscant after Katia’s death and… Well, their reason was to get me to talk. For Behemoth, I had already done his bidding.

A secondary’s curse was death, he’d given me a Prime’s burial. It struck me as odd, but I tried to rationalize that some people, especially that douche, were just fucking sociopathic psychos. What was I even to do for the next hundred or so years? Drive myself insane with my own thoughts? Or maybe, this was to punish me or make me realize something.

God? Omni? Whatever the fuck rules this place other than the armies of idiot, privileged primes, if you’re out there, what am I supposed to gain from this experience? I’m literally fucking entombed in a statue, and then encased by an ocean.

I thought came to her. One that scared her shitless. One that was scarier than death, pain, or even losing herself.

The definition of hell is as follows: “On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.”

I had no nerves to feel, and yet, I was chilled to my very soul.

Miss opportunities came flying back into my mind, fleeting ones, I had a power for leadership and never used it for good. Some memories came back in jumbled balls, there was no sense to be made out of them. Pyramids, a forest, a speech that came from my lips to an onlooking crowd of faces all looking to me for hope.

Oh my god. I’ve been such a fool. Everything I have done up until this moment has been aimless and for nothing. I once envied, hated, and scorned primes for actually doing something in this world. Even if this place is just some sort of replica copy of a true reality, it is still real and that makes people’s suffering, and my own suffering significant. I’ve wasted my time here chasing ghosts, Katia, and I could’ve been saving people. Their lives always wasted by primes or secondaries who have nothing left to lose. Secondaries like me, who don’t care who they burn to get their prize.

All this time I’ve been a fool. Daisy alone, would have approved.

Shame surged in me. If I ever got free. I’d change the entire fucking Omniverse. I’d lead people for the causes I believe in, and restore justice.

And I promised myself then, I would prevail.