08-03-2017, 10:50 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-03-2017, 10:55 AM by Ebonywood Hellscythe.)
(if someone notices I've said anything wrong here, please correct me)
@Ziyadah:
I know you've done some of your own looking around (probably) but I have some suggestions here that would also work (instead of a normal move or set of moves).
Option A: Wait for the forces update. Then you can have all the minions you want (but it may cost you to maintain them if you keep losing battles).
Option B: An assist. You could have a T1 assist (1 SP per post or 2 SP per round) that happens to be something that looks just like you (or very similar). Also, your assist could be "4 clones" where all 4 would share the stats of the assist.
Option C: You probably won't want this one, since it's very short term, but you could get a super attack where your minion things appear and attack someone (then disappear after). A super defence where they appear to take shorts for you (then disappear after).
Should you get choose option A or B, you could still get something like the following (from the move page in the rules):
Now, moving on to the actual general move, there are some things you should make a note of (if you haven't already). Firstly, have an example of a relevant similar move:
Now, there's something to note here:
Essentially, they can't make their own decisions. So they're not going to dodge an attack unless you tell them to. Although I reckon you could probably get away with having them navigate terrain if they're heading in a straight line. And you can get them to attack opponents mindlessly (move is from this page):
Now, I'm going to look at your move piece by piece. And in the future, just note the full cost of the move at the top (and then just explain where the cost comes from if it's not obvious). So the top should look like:
There are some things I'd like to be clarified for the main body of the move:
>How many hits can they normally take?
>How fast are they?
>How "smart" are they?
>What is Zi doing while summoning them?
>Can Zi use other moves while they're summoned?
>How draining is this move?
Possible problems:
>It's too strong. Being able to mob a low TEC player with potentially 5 times your usual melee output is insane. Perhaps instead have the damage stay low per hit, but just have the target not notice they were hit with a weaker attack.
>I think Zi should take the full damage of attacks that kill his minions.
>Depending on how you go with this, your 'shadows' may be too smart. Bare in mind Zi needs to manually command every single one, so having multiple ones move in different directions would be hard. There needs to be an additional drawback. But too many drawbacks would naturally reveal the real Zi. Perhaps reduce Zi's strength to that of the minions?
Command: Attack:
>You need some information about how well they attack. Is it a blind rush? Or as skilful as Zi?
Command: At Ease:
>This is fine, but I think it should probably have a slight passive drain on his mind.
Command: Shuffle:
>Trying to coordinate that many things at once would be hard for Zi. I have a potential idea here: what if Zi had a preset routine? Like when people choreograph a dance. Essentially, the movements are already planned. A consequence of this would probably be the TEC requirement of keeping track of Zi lowering by 1 after each successive use.
>How long does shuffle last?
>How tiring is it?
Command: Work:
>As I said above, this would add 300 OM to the cost as it's allowing you to manipulate stuff at range, like a watered down telekinesis.
>How much can they lift?
>Give some examples of things they can and can't do. Can they make you a cup of tea? Can they dig a hole? Can they lift a really big rock? Can they open a combination lock (with the code)? Can they brute force a combination lock (by trying every option)? Can they talk? Can they build a house? You don't need to answer everything here, but some specifc examples of what they can and can't do would be nice.
@Ziyadah:
I know you've done some of your own looking around (probably) but I have some suggestions here that would also work (instead of a normal move or set of moves).
Option A: Wait for the forces update. Then you can have all the minions you want (but it may cost you to maintain them if you keep losing battles).
Option B: An assist. You could have a T1 assist (1 SP per post or 2 SP per round) that happens to be something that looks just like you (or very similar). Also, your assist could be "4 clones" where all 4 would share the stats of the assist.
Option C: You probably won't want this one, since it's very short term, but you could get a super attack where your minion things appear and attack someone (then disappear after). A super defence where they appear to take shorts for you (then disappear after).
Should you get choose option A or B, you could still get something like the following (from the move page in the rules):
Quote:[spoiler]Or any other general buff/commanding thing. Although most commands wouldn't need a move on your part (as they can simply do as you tell them to).
WAAAAAAAAUUUUGH! (Requires Buff proficiency) – 300 OM
Bluddflagg stops where he is, throws his head back, and lets out a mighty roar of the titular Orky battlecry: WAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!! Of course, he does have to stop everything he's doing to howl this out, but the effects can be worth it. Allies who hear this during the fight will gain a burst of morale and adrenaline. For a short time, about half a minute, those allies can shrug off injuries as if they had the Survival power, but they do still take the damage, and after the half minute is up, if a wound would have normally killed them, they'll then likely keel over. Still, the move can buy himself and allies just enough time to at least take the sorry gits they're fighting with them!
Omni's Note: A good example of a solid buff that doesn't require extensive downsides or a super move. If you want to add real stats, you'll need to take either of these two options.
[/spoiler]
Now, moving on to the actual general move, there are some things you should make a note of (if you haven't already). Firstly, have an example of a relevant similar move:
Quote:[spoiler]
Raise Dead (requires Ranged Proficiency, Remote Control Proficiency) – 1200 OM
The legacy of the orcish necrolytes, and a favorite of Raal's, this skill has changed to reflect Omni's own whims and no longer requires a corpse. Raal may use this spell to summon a weak undead warrior near him. These creatures are weak and lack any true combat skill, but are controlled remotely by Raal and can be deceptively dangerous, capable of slowing down enemies and performing an unliving shield against anyone attempting to get close to Raal. They are capable of using basic weaponry, such as swords and bows, but do so with all the grace of an untrained peasant, and about the same level of physical strength to boot.
Compared to a prime, the average undead is very weak, with a prime being more than capable of destroying any undead with a single casual strike, and due to their weakened muscles, they're incapable of doing any serious damage to primes without repeated clean blows. Any undead using a bow is limited to merely thirty feet of range due to their physicality.
The undead take roughly five seconds to fully summon, which takes the majority of Raal's concentration. He can direct his other undead during this time but must stay rooted in one place, palm facing the ground, and cannot move, cast spells, or make any use of his enhanced senses until he is finished. Attempting to do any of these for a split second will stop his spellcasting and cause him to lose the energy he was using to summon the undead. Being physically struck will also cause his spellcasting to fail, regardless of if he was moved or distracted by it.
The undead are a small drain on Raal to summon, each one requiring a small amount of his energy to initially summon, though none to maintain. Actually controlling the undead requires a degree of concentration; as he must control them manually, it makes it more difficult to move, aim or generally focus on other attacks. This effect is more pronounced as he summons more undead; directing ten undead requires his entire concentration, leaving him unable to move or do almost anything else.
At maximum, Raal can summon ten undead at once. If he attempts to summon more than that, one of the undead he is currently controlling will simply shatter into dust, before it's remnants fade away.
Omni's Note: Summoning beings with true sentience and independence always requires the use of an Assist. However, this is an example of a move that summons single-minded creatures who can perform specific tasks or be mentally controlled by the user directly using their own focus (Remote-Control Proficiency). Note the balance: these creatures are weak and can be killed with a single direct hit, hence the relatively low energy cost to summon.
The cost can be broken down into each 'use' of the ability: 300 OM for summoning an undead that can be remotely controlled for basic stuff such as grabbing, moving, essentially a physical manifestation of his remote control. +300 for summoning multiple or controlling multiple simultaneously. +300 for using swords. +300 for using bows.
[/spoiler]
Now, there's something to note here:
Quote:Summoning beings with true sentience and independence always requires the use of an Assist.
Essentially, they can't make their own decisions. So they're not going to dodge an attack unless you tell them to. Although I reckon you could probably get away with having them navigate terrain if they're heading in a straight line. And you can get them to attack opponents mindlessly (move is from this page):
Quote:[spoiler]
Kamikazi Buu Clone 600 OM (requires Physical Strength, Ranged Proficiency, Homing Proficiency)
Buu takes several seconds of stationary focus to create a Buu clone out of excess material (he has a lot to spare). This clone is mindless and will only go after the first target Buu points it to. It will then proceed to close in on the target and hit them with punches and kicks. By putting more time and energy in, Buu can create up to six clones of himself - this can be rather exhausting. These clones are very weak and are mostly used to distract or overwhelm an opponent - they can be caved in with a few direct hits. However, Buu can re-absorb dead or disabled clones in order to recover a portion of the energy that was put into them.
[/spoiler]
Now, I'm going to look at your move piece by piece. And in the future, just note the full cost of the move at the top (and then just explain where the cost comes from if it's not obvious). So the top should look like:
Quote:Shadow Conjuration: 1200 (300 for being able to effectively allowing you to manipulate basic stuff at range, 300 for attack, 300 for shuffle, 300 for being able to summon multiple minions)I don't think telling them to run would really cost you anything. Also, the commanding part can come from remote control. Unless you're chopping off your arms to attack people with, you don't need Hive Mind. You need ranged proficiency (as the minions attacks are are a distance from you). You'll need burst movement and super speed for your minions to use those powers.
Requires: Remote Control, Hive Mind (for Commands), Ranged, Burst Movement, Super Speed
Quote:Those who view the spell completion with a Technique equal to or higher than Zi's immediately know which is the Shadow.This is redundant as people with a TEC can see through the illusions instantly without witnessing the completion of the spell:
Quote:A Prime may realize the illusion is false by studying it for 2 seconds for every point of TEC lower than Zi's. Matching TEC immediately sees through the illusions.So perhaps provide an advantage to detecting the illusion for people who witnessed its appearance? Such as less time staring at it? Or a lower initial TEC requirement. Also, people with insight will probably be able to tell which is the illusion instantly (unless you have suppression).
Quote:Zi can have a number of shadows equal to his TEC. If he already has an active Shadow, the casting time increases exponentially for each active Shadow. He may summon multiple at a time by combining the casting times. 1 Shadow is 10 seconds, 2 is 30 seconds, 3 is a minute, 4 is a minute and 40 seconds, 5 is two minutes and 30 seconds. If casting while Stealthed, he is unstealthed upon completion of the spell.Because I am a massive nerd, I feel it is my duty to inform you that is not an exponential increase since the casting time is equal to 5n^2 + 5n which is a quadratic expression (where n is the shadow number and the casting time is in seconds). Exponential refers to when the rate of change is proportional to the value. Something like 2^n (i.e. the casting time doubles for each additional shadow), or something in for form of Ae^(bx) (where A, e and b are constants and x is real). So, technically, the casting time increases quadratically. #rantover
There are some things I'd like to be clarified for the main body of the move:
>How many hits can they normally take?
>How fast are they?
>How "smart" are they?
>What is Zi doing while summoning them?
>Can Zi use other moves while they're summoned?
>How draining is this move?
Possible problems:
>It's too strong. Being able to mob a low TEC player with potentially 5 times your usual melee output is insane. Perhaps instead have the damage stay low per hit, but just have the target not notice they were hit with a weaker attack.
>I think Zi should take the full damage of attacks that kill his minions.
>Depending on how you go with this, your 'shadows' may be too smart. Bare in mind Zi needs to manually command every single one, so having multiple ones move in different directions would be hard. There needs to be an additional drawback. But too many drawbacks would naturally reveal the real Zi. Perhaps reduce Zi's strength to that of the minions?
Command: Attack:
>You need some information about how well they attack. Is it a blind rush? Or as skilful as Zi?
Command: At Ease:
>This is fine, but I think it should probably have a slight passive drain on his mind.
Command: Shuffle:
>Trying to coordinate that many things at once would be hard for Zi. I have a potential idea here: what if Zi had a preset routine? Like when people choreograph a dance. Essentially, the movements are already planned. A consequence of this would probably be the TEC requirement of keeping track of Zi lowering by 1 after each successive use.
>How long does shuffle last?
>How tiring is it?
Command: Work:
>As I said above, this would add 300 OM to the cost as it's allowing you to manipulate stuff at range, like a watered down telekinesis.
>How much can they lift?
>Give some examples of things they can and can't do. Can they make you a cup of tea? Can they dig a hole? Can they lift a really big rock? Can they open a combination lock (with the code)? Can they brute force a combination lock (by trying every option)? Can they talk? Can they build a house? You don't need to answer everything here, but some specifc examples of what they can and can't do would be nice.
