07-27-2017, 02:17 AM
It was a beautiful day on the beach, the sun was swooping slow for the horizon but wasn’t quite there yet. And yet… Gildarts felt his mind plague him with chains and darkness. What was it, a form of depression? He felt slightly meaningless, like every punch he threw was not his choice. Suddenly he was evaluating the meaning of freewill, the illusion that it was, and the sick game of life that he was in for the long haul.
But he had chosen the life of a wayward hero and he would likely die for his lifestyle. Fulfillment from his endeavors gnawed at the edges of his mind, the thickness of reasoning fogged up the world around him and Gildarts found himself looking over at the sea wistfully.
Life had been so simple, he’d not had a care in the world, other than destroying it. Now, every choice was a domino, and the fallout of life was unavoidable. Chaos, destruction, death. Everyone always pretended like they had a choice through it all, but no one, not even killers, really had the choice. Control was an illusion. Death was an unfortunate, well, usually a consistency. And destruction was the one thing Gildarts Clive had ever known.
He pulled his eyes from the spray of ocean and brought them down to his silver fist. The burden weighed on his shoulders. That of truth. That of all he had denied. That of the wrongs he had committed when he’d not been strong enough to fight against his own power.
Now it was all clear. Clear as the sun in the sky. Gildarts had never felt like more of a monster, than when he’d felt the full reality of his humanity.
“Gil, what’s wrong? Weren’t we going to see Molly? I’m getting tired of holding this guy’s money,” Piqui huffed.
“Wrong?” Gildarts felt his eyebrows crease together. What wasn’t wrong? How were all these people on the beach smiling and glowing and burning in the sun while he was there, standing without words, feeling sorrow drench his heart? Could they choose to forget every moment? Were they all drunk? High? Maybe they didn’t care about the world’s injustices.
Gildarts finally had his mind to himself, the freedom to think on his own. And thinking had revealed more or less everything he once believed in to be a lie. A crushing reality.
“Yeah, you’re looking off into the ocean like someone stole your fish,” Piqui said, cats love fish and this was a grave offense to their feline kind.
“I think… I just need a drink. But I’ll get one later. You’re a good friend, thank you for your concern,” Gil’s steel hand pet the scruff of her neck which was still floating in the air with the rest of her wing adorned cat-body.
He didn’t feign a smile, but maintained his usual ‘Gilface’ which may as well have been a mask that delivered societal approval, but to him may as well have been ripped off and buried in the sand.
“A drink? Hmm! The Abyss must’ve gotten you good then, but you made a friend, so there’s that!” Piqui stated.
Gildarts nodded and saw them a few feet up the beach. Takezo’s lips had formed the name of the crashmage and Gil felt his nose itching. Unable to hold it back, a rocket of magic shot forth toward the patch of uninhabited ocean and sand. Particles of beach were unearthed in a dense cloud of foggy dust, while the ocean was sliced up and then fell back together. Both were more fluid substances, the destruction magic dissipated and no one who hadn’t seen him shoot a virtual tornado out of his nose would’ve known any better.
“Oi! Dust!” Gildarts sauntered over, “What are you still doing in the sand? I thought you’d be out decades ago.”
His little joke. The strongest prime smiled but felt it waver, unlasting, burdened by the darkness of free thought also meant true, unadulterated doubt. He’d never had that before. It was a bitter shot to swallow.
“Oh, I-uh…” Dust looked at Takezo whose jaw was still slack after seeing what the mage had done with a sneeze, back to Gildarts and wasn’t sure to take the mage literally.
“Here,” Gildarts said, mercifully pulling the lycan free by shoving his organic hand through several feet of sand and then pulling Dust out of the ground like he was nothing but a weed. “How does freedom feel?”
Please. Tell me the answer. Gildarts felt himself beg for a brightside to his own newfound freedom. The answer fell on him unexpectedly. People had learned to be happy in their misery, as Dust had learned to smile as Molly fed him food, which Gil had saw from across the beach. Dust had taken the hand he had been dealt and had not shaken his fist at god, omni, or any other deity that the universe held. Instead, he’d dealt with it like a man should, more or less. Molly had even fed him, reducing him to nothing but a toddler status, if that.
Dust shook off the sand as a dog might’ve water, then, Gildarts eyes fell across the sweep of people. There was that doll that Dust had summoned, a magenta pony from Ambrosia, Molly, Dust himself, and a stranger with a sword mounted on his back.
“Oh, Piqui saved your tips for you,” Gildarts had held onto the large gold coins which were still brimming with heat in his metal hand and Piqui, the flying cat, had extended her paws out to Dust who happily took it. Piqui’s eyes hadn’t missed a thing, she saw the pinkness that flushed Molly’s cheeks. She was in the company of an attractive boy and Piqui had missed some juicy details.
“Save them?” Dust blinked, unsure.
“I was standing near your booth and it suddenly caught on fire, I’m not sure if it was intended arson, or if it was caused by the boardwalk’s cramped design. Good news is, I put it out. Bad news is, your booth didn’t survive.” Yeah, and neither had the rest of that half of the dock, Gil felt himself too embarrassed to say.
“What?! On fire?! Good thing I didn’t have any customers in there!” Dust exclaimed.
“Yeah… Good thing,” Gildarts had however, come very close to having a customer in there. Temptation had been warded. One right choice. Proven right by circumstance alone. Time travel hadn’t been invented, and meddling with it with magic was more or less against the rules, but had it, Gildarts wasn’t sure if he’d go back and change his life, or let himself climb like the stairs he had, again.
“Oh! This is Takezo, I’ve known him for a little while now, he was also a participant like us in Dante’s Abyss,” Gildarts flinched. He didn’t need PTSD right now. He had enough on his mind. Honestly, the once-oblivious prime had a tough time deciding which was better to anchor his mind, instead, he needed to figure out how to make his mind sail.
“Greetings, Gildarts. Your reputation precedes you,” the swordsman formally tilted his head with a respectful nod.
The mage however, had no idea what reputation that was. Social constructs, right. “Oh, thank you, it is nice to meet you as well,” Gildarts said, feeling himself desire isolation more than ever before in his life, which was terrible, because he’d always sought solitude in order to not decimate entire cities in one sitting.
“Hey, are you okay Gildarts? You’re tan but your face is looking kind of pale. Maybe you need some water? Molly packed us all snacks,” Dust suggested.
But the words fell on mostly deaf ears. The kindness was appreciated, but the man was still plagued with the density of existential depression. It was unpleasant. With his chin up, Gildarts braved the pain and pretended to be hungry.
“Did you make them yourself?” Gildarts turned to the young blonde and was met with an eager grin.
“Do you like peanut butter and jelly?” Molly asked happily.
“Hmm. Not sure, I think I should try it and find out,” they shared a smile and Gildarts stole the chair under the shade, looking off into the distance of the ocean. Still unsure about the world around him, but at least he’d have a sandwich in his hand.
…
“Mmph, this is quite good. You call it peanut butter?” Gildarts said through a mouthful.
“Well, I’m sure it would taste good to you, your cooking skills… Could use some improvement,” Molly stated.
“Hmm.. The sun is starting to go down, maybe we should all play some volleyball before, what did you call them? S’mores?” Gildarts asked. Humanity, it seemed they were all about processed foods, sugar, and competitive sports like politics or anything that held the shape of a ball. He was doing his best not to feel bitter, and bringing the sight of the Ambrosians and his Fairy Tail guildmates back into his mind.
“Oh you remembered!” Molly exclaimed, “I’m so glad. Yes, of course we will ALL play.” Molly said with a growl over her shoulder, “So who’s the two team captains?”
“You and I.” Gildarts announced. “Anyone who doesn’t want to play can sit on the sidelines, right now though, we’re choosing teams. You go first Molly.”
“Okay Gil. I pick Dust for my first.” Dust blinked, it wasn’t really fair that Gildarts was going to have equal players and he was on the side of a little girl, though it might turn out she was particularly skilled in the game. Knowing Gildarts he’d probably end up deflating the ball several times while he tried to spike or punt the ball.
“Takezo,” Gildarts said with a confident ring. The swordsman didn’t appear to know the rules, and continued to look at Dust quizzically, who just gave him an expression that read, just play along. He did feel fortunate though, to not be going up against the strongest prime in what sounded like a competitive event.
“Pinkie Pie,” Molly stated.
“Piqui,” Gildarts called, he’d picked up on the picking order rather quickly, “You’re aerially inclined, you’ll make a good ally.”
“So these are the teams? Pinkie Pie, me, and Dust,” Molly said, “And Gildarts, Takezo, and Piqui?” They seemed pretty fair, though if Piqui could fly, she would have a lot more versatility.
Perhaps the depression-plagued prime would take solace in a competitive sport. Though at this point, he just hoped it wouldn’t go too far.
“Say, Dust does your doll play volleyball? I wouldn’t want to exclude him,” Molly said with her hands on her hips.
“If you want you can have him on your team, if he plays,” Gildarts said.
“Uh, maybe it’s best he sits the game out, he’s been in the sun pretty long,” Dust excused his doll.
“Works for me, the teams are even now anyways, Gil, no using your magic!” Molly instructed. “And if you break the ball you have to make us a new one.”
“May someone please explain the rules to me?” Takezo spoke up.
Molly nodded. “This is the ball, that over there is the net. You can’t let the ball touch the ground, the goal is to not let it go out of bounds, which is the rectangular lines we’ll be playing with, as well as you want the other team to drop the ball, because that’s where you get points. So if I hit the ball over the net to the other side and Gildarts doesn’t catch it and pop it back over the net, or to one of his allies like you, and it hits the ground, my team gets a point. You can’t grab the ball, you have to bounce it. Any other questions?”
Gildarts too, was glad to be briefed on the rules. He’d never played any sports in his life. It had to be a lot like either fishing, or combat. Maybe a little of both. Still, Gildarts was primed and ready to drown his sorrows in a little competitive match.
But he had chosen the life of a wayward hero and he would likely die for his lifestyle. Fulfillment from his endeavors gnawed at the edges of his mind, the thickness of reasoning fogged up the world around him and Gildarts found himself looking over at the sea wistfully.
Life had been so simple, he’d not had a care in the world, other than destroying it. Now, every choice was a domino, and the fallout of life was unavoidable. Chaos, destruction, death. Everyone always pretended like they had a choice through it all, but no one, not even killers, really had the choice. Control was an illusion. Death was an unfortunate, well, usually a consistency. And destruction was the one thing Gildarts Clive had ever known.
He pulled his eyes from the spray of ocean and brought them down to his silver fist. The burden weighed on his shoulders. That of truth. That of all he had denied. That of the wrongs he had committed when he’d not been strong enough to fight against his own power.
Now it was all clear. Clear as the sun in the sky. Gildarts had never felt like more of a monster, than when he’d felt the full reality of his humanity.
“Gil, what’s wrong? Weren’t we going to see Molly? I’m getting tired of holding this guy’s money,” Piqui huffed.
“Wrong?” Gildarts felt his eyebrows crease together. What wasn’t wrong? How were all these people on the beach smiling and glowing and burning in the sun while he was there, standing without words, feeling sorrow drench his heart? Could they choose to forget every moment? Were they all drunk? High? Maybe they didn’t care about the world’s injustices.
Gildarts finally had his mind to himself, the freedom to think on his own. And thinking had revealed more or less everything he once believed in to be a lie. A crushing reality.
“Yeah, you’re looking off into the ocean like someone stole your fish,” Piqui said, cats love fish and this was a grave offense to their feline kind.
“I think… I just need a drink. But I’ll get one later. You’re a good friend, thank you for your concern,” Gil’s steel hand pet the scruff of her neck which was still floating in the air with the rest of her wing adorned cat-body.
He didn’t feign a smile, but maintained his usual ‘Gilface’ which may as well have been a mask that delivered societal approval, but to him may as well have been ripped off and buried in the sand.
“A drink? Hmm! The Abyss must’ve gotten you good then, but you made a friend, so there’s that!” Piqui stated.
Gildarts nodded and saw them a few feet up the beach. Takezo’s lips had formed the name of the crashmage and Gil felt his nose itching. Unable to hold it back, a rocket of magic shot forth toward the patch of uninhabited ocean and sand. Particles of beach were unearthed in a dense cloud of foggy dust, while the ocean was sliced up and then fell back together. Both were more fluid substances, the destruction magic dissipated and no one who hadn’t seen him shoot a virtual tornado out of his nose would’ve known any better.
“Oi! Dust!” Gildarts sauntered over, “What are you still doing in the sand? I thought you’d be out decades ago.”
His little joke. The strongest prime smiled but felt it waver, unlasting, burdened by the darkness of free thought also meant true, unadulterated doubt. He’d never had that before. It was a bitter shot to swallow.
“Oh, I-uh…” Dust looked at Takezo whose jaw was still slack after seeing what the mage had done with a sneeze, back to Gildarts and wasn’t sure to take the mage literally.
“Here,” Gildarts said, mercifully pulling the lycan free by shoving his organic hand through several feet of sand and then pulling Dust out of the ground like he was nothing but a weed. “How does freedom feel?”
Please. Tell me the answer. Gildarts felt himself beg for a brightside to his own newfound freedom. The answer fell on him unexpectedly. People had learned to be happy in their misery, as Dust had learned to smile as Molly fed him food, which Gil had saw from across the beach. Dust had taken the hand he had been dealt and had not shaken his fist at god, omni, or any other deity that the universe held. Instead, he’d dealt with it like a man should, more or less. Molly had even fed him, reducing him to nothing but a toddler status, if that.
Dust shook off the sand as a dog might’ve water, then, Gildarts eyes fell across the sweep of people. There was that doll that Dust had summoned, a magenta pony from Ambrosia, Molly, Dust himself, and a stranger with a sword mounted on his back.
“Oh, Piqui saved your tips for you,” Gildarts had held onto the large gold coins which were still brimming with heat in his metal hand and Piqui, the flying cat, had extended her paws out to Dust who happily took it. Piqui’s eyes hadn’t missed a thing, she saw the pinkness that flushed Molly’s cheeks. She was in the company of an attractive boy and Piqui had missed some juicy details.
“Save them?” Dust blinked, unsure.
“I was standing near your booth and it suddenly caught on fire, I’m not sure if it was intended arson, or if it was caused by the boardwalk’s cramped design. Good news is, I put it out. Bad news is, your booth didn’t survive.” Yeah, and neither had the rest of that half of the dock, Gil felt himself too embarrassed to say.
“What?! On fire?! Good thing I didn’t have any customers in there!” Dust exclaimed.
“Yeah… Good thing,” Gildarts had however, come very close to having a customer in there. Temptation had been warded. One right choice. Proven right by circumstance alone. Time travel hadn’t been invented, and meddling with it with magic was more or less against the rules, but had it, Gildarts wasn’t sure if he’d go back and change his life, or let himself climb like the stairs he had, again.
“Oh! This is Takezo, I’ve known him for a little while now, he was also a participant like us in Dante’s Abyss,” Gildarts flinched. He didn’t need PTSD right now. He had enough on his mind. Honestly, the once-oblivious prime had a tough time deciding which was better to anchor his mind, instead, he needed to figure out how to make his mind sail.
“Greetings, Gildarts. Your reputation precedes you,” the swordsman formally tilted his head with a respectful nod.
The mage however, had no idea what reputation that was. Social constructs, right. “Oh, thank you, it is nice to meet you as well,” Gildarts said, feeling himself desire isolation more than ever before in his life, which was terrible, because he’d always sought solitude in order to not decimate entire cities in one sitting.
“Hey, are you okay Gildarts? You’re tan but your face is looking kind of pale. Maybe you need some water? Molly packed us all snacks,” Dust suggested.
But the words fell on mostly deaf ears. The kindness was appreciated, but the man was still plagued with the density of existential depression. It was unpleasant. With his chin up, Gildarts braved the pain and pretended to be hungry.
“Did you make them yourself?” Gildarts turned to the young blonde and was met with an eager grin.
“Do you like peanut butter and jelly?” Molly asked happily.
“Hmm. Not sure, I think I should try it and find out,” they shared a smile and Gildarts stole the chair under the shade, looking off into the distance of the ocean. Still unsure about the world around him, but at least he’d have a sandwich in his hand.
…
“Mmph, this is quite good. You call it peanut butter?” Gildarts said through a mouthful.
“Well, I’m sure it would taste good to you, your cooking skills… Could use some improvement,” Molly stated.
“Hmm.. The sun is starting to go down, maybe we should all play some volleyball before, what did you call them? S’mores?” Gildarts asked. Humanity, it seemed they were all about processed foods, sugar, and competitive sports like politics or anything that held the shape of a ball. He was doing his best not to feel bitter, and bringing the sight of the Ambrosians and his Fairy Tail guildmates back into his mind.
“Oh you remembered!” Molly exclaimed, “I’m so glad. Yes, of course we will ALL play.” Molly said with a growl over her shoulder, “So who’s the two team captains?”
“You and I.” Gildarts announced. “Anyone who doesn’t want to play can sit on the sidelines, right now though, we’re choosing teams. You go first Molly.”
“Okay Gil. I pick Dust for my first.” Dust blinked, it wasn’t really fair that Gildarts was going to have equal players and he was on the side of a little girl, though it might turn out she was particularly skilled in the game. Knowing Gildarts he’d probably end up deflating the ball several times while he tried to spike or punt the ball.
“Takezo,” Gildarts said with a confident ring. The swordsman didn’t appear to know the rules, and continued to look at Dust quizzically, who just gave him an expression that read, just play along. He did feel fortunate though, to not be going up against the strongest prime in what sounded like a competitive event.
“Pinkie Pie,” Molly stated.
“Piqui,” Gildarts called, he’d picked up on the picking order rather quickly, “You’re aerially inclined, you’ll make a good ally.”
“So these are the teams? Pinkie Pie, me, and Dust,” Molly said, “And Gildarts, Takezo, and Piqui?” They seemed pretty fair, though if Piqui could fly, she would have a lot more versatility.
Perhaps the depression-plagued prime would take solace in a competitive sport. Though at this point, he just hoped it wouldn’t go too far.
“Say, Dust does your doll play volleyball? I wouldn’t want to exclude him,” Molly said with her hands on her hips.
“If you want you can have him on your team, if he plays,” Gildarts said.
“Uh, maybe it’s best he sits the game out, he’s been in the sun pretty long,” Dust excused his doll.
“Works for me, the teams are even now anyways, Gil, no using your magic!” Molly instructed. “And if you break the ball you have to make us a new one.”
“May someone please explain the rules to me?” Takezo spoke up.
Molly nodded. “This is the ball, that over there is the net. You can’t let the ball touch the ground, the goal is to not let it go out of bounds, which is the rectangular lines we’ll be playing with, as well as you want the other team to drop the ball, because that’s where you get points. So if I hit the ball over the net to the other side and Gildarts doesn’t catch it and pop it back over the net, or to one of his allies like you, and it hits the ground, my team gets a point. You can’t grab the ball, you have to bounce it. Any other questions?”
Gildarts too, was glad to be briefed on the rules. He’d never played any sports in his life. It had to be a lot like either fishing, or combat. Maybe a little of both. Still, Gildarts was primed and ready to drown his sorrows in a little competitive match.
![[Image: -Gildarts-fairy-tail-35651033-300-180.gif]](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/35600000/-Gildarts-fairy-tail-35651033-300-180.gif)
"I have never met a strong person with an easy past." -Atticus