Genesis of Apotheosis

[Strazio Rockwell]

Jade’s teleporter swallowed the trio and several minutes later they rematerialized in the middle of a wheat field. Strazio rubbed his eyes and groaned; his throat tasted like copper. A few feet away a cloud of glitter coalesced into one fresh Gamzee and a few more feet away the same miracle took place and created one grumpy Karkat. The sun above them bathed the earth in warmth as it crawled to reach its daily apex. Around them the earthy scent of wheat cradled their nostrils. Gamzee giggled as the waist-high stalks of cereal grain tickled him. Strazio sneezed and cursed.

“Where the fuck are we?” Karkat asked.

Gamzee answered as he frolicked, “dunno motherfucker, but this place is alright.”

Strazio pulled open his dataverse device and loaded up an OPS app. The thing loaded slowly as it fought for some kind of signal that far from civilization. Eventually he was able to get a fragment of a map loaded up.

“Looks like we’re in Camelot, we gotta head north,” he said and started walking in a northerly direction.

They walked for hours with Strazio leading the pack. Vast swathes of uninhabited land sprawled out before them, offering the travelers little respite. Not that this necessarily bothered them. They had rested well enough at Jade’s tower and the day was still young. Karkat and Gamzee spent the time catching up with recent events and the more whimsical of the two even took a chance to show off the bit of magick he had learned. Strazio was more than glad to listen to them jabber as his mind was preoccupied with what was to come. It wasn’t until Gamzee came up behind him and looped a lanky arm over Strazio’s neck that he was dragged into the conversation.

“Hey best bro of mine,” Gamzee began to speak, but was interrupted by Karkat.

“I thought I was your best bro?” Karkat asked.

The high-blood smiled and looked back at him, “well, yeah, you both are, we’re like a gaggle of best buds, just three best motherfuckin’ friends runnin’ around and spreading all kinna mirth.”

“What do you want?” Strazio asked, try his best to peel himself out from under Gamzee’s embrace.

“Well as I was trying to say, ‘fore I was interrupted, was where exactly are we going?”

Strazio held up his dataverse device so Gamzee could see it. The troll read through Tearen’s dataverse post. He spent the whole time reading it with his neck craned over Strazio’s shoulder. The rage-mage did his best to contain his frustration, but finally pushed the troll away.
“Who’s Tearen Wover?” Gamzee asked.

“He’s the guy that healed me back up after Enel gank-fucked us,” Strazio answered.

Gamzee thought for a moment and said, “that doesn’t seem like something you’d vibe well with.”

“What do you mean?”

He adopted a faux-royalty voice and spoke, “all enigmas must operate by these motherfuckin’ tenants, ‘I do not rush, I resort to head-cracking as the last motherfuckin’ option, all minds are precious and I cherish them’ I don’t know bro, just doesn’t seem like the kinda thing I associated Strawso Rockwheel with.”

“Oh fuck off,” Strazio answered and picked up the pace.

Truth was, he was right. And that was something that Strazio knew. In the smoky aftermath of his arguably legendary tantrums he knew deep down that his actions were predicated on half-cocked impulses. The thought pissed him off.

--

The trio made their way to the gate for The Tangled Green and stepped through. Before them a knotted mess of jungle and rainforest threatened to swallow any unprepared traveler. Karkat was the only one that was understandably apprehensive about this leg of the journey. After all he was the only one of the three that lacked immortality. It took a healthy dose of coaxing from Gamzee to get him to tag along. And so, with a reluctant Karkat in tow, the three began to carve a path. After about an hour’s worth of travel the three came to a river and stopped to catch their breath. Strazio sat on a boulder while Gamzee shimmied up a nearby tree.

“So,” Strazio began, speaking just above the sound of rushing water, “just what are you guys? I mean you can’t be human, you’ve got horns like some sort of imps or something.”

“Hey!” Karkat half-shouted, “that’s very insensitive of our culture, asswipe, we trolls are a stupidly proud and a proudly stupid race.”

“Trolls?” Strazio asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah boi,” Gamzee interjected “that’s the moniker that me monetize, trolls, we come from this kinda weird, kinda sad, kinda dictator driven planet called Alternia, it’s a pretty nice place if you ain’t nice, you’d fit in well Straz! Well, until everyone figured out what an old softy you are on the mushy inside.”

Karkat snicked and Strazio shot Gamzee a withering glare. The troll seemed unaffected by Strazio’s admonishment and continued climbing.

“So you some kinda gymnast like Gamzee too?” Strazio asked Karkat and then added, “and is that Jade girl a troll too?”

Gamzee laughed and began to hang upside-down from his perch, “nah man, Jade’s human just like you, ask KK about her, he knows plenty.”

Karkat’s face flushed cherry red and he growled something at Gamzee before answering in a voice that was several decibels too loud, “Nah! Gamzee just does those stupid tricks and flips cause he is a literal clownish fuck! He worships these clown deities and their miracles, and fancies himself a juggalo, don’t ask me what that means. I don’t know!”

“The fuck’s’a juggalo Gamz?” Strazio asked.

As if he had just been given a puppy the high-blood clasped his hands together and cooed. His eyes lit up and he answered, “they are the agents of mirth and whimsy, the spreaders of joy and emotion, brother, a juggalo is a motherfuckin’ miracle.”

Strazio rolled his eyes and stood.

“It’s getting late, let’s get going,” he said.

It didn’t take long for the three to spot the emerald pillar that served as Tearen’s beacon. While they weren’t one-hundred percent sure that it was indeed his beacon, the direction was correct, and that was good enough for them. After a few more hours of travel they finally reached their destination. A series of structures and amenities had been constructed for them and it was at this point that Strazio realized this wasn’t going to be a simple overnight visit. He thought about turning back, but he swallowed his pride and continued deeper into the camp. Gamzee and Karkat followed.

“Hello?” he called, “anyone home?”