07-25-2017, 09:07 PM
(Sorry for being short and I apologize for any typos or mistakes, I currently only have access to my phone, and we all know mobile is not the easiest to use.)
To start with: I throughly enjoyed this thread. With that out of the way, let me start with the positive.
I loved the descriptions in this sentence, and in the rest of the thread. Visualizing many of the scenes was a piece of cake. I myself often struggle with describing scenes, so I can really appreciate the beauty of this:
On to the negatives. I can see how this came to occur, seeing as all of this was written within the span of half of a month, but there were plenty of spelling, grammar, and even a few tense changes. I noticed several sentences at the beginning that I think might be run-ons.
In review: this was a very fun thread to read, with a great story, but the spelling and grammar mistakes are too many.
I do not nominate this thread for any bonuses.
To start with: I throughly enjoyed this thread. With that out of the way, let me start with the positive.
I loved the descriptions in this sentence, and in the rest of the thread. Visualizing many of the scenes was a piece of cake. I myself often struggle with describing scenes, so I can really appreciate the beauty of this:
Quote: When Isabelle rematerialized, she was standing in the middle of a dirty neon lit street, droves of people, in outfits that ranged from street leathers to thin cloth that barely left anything to the imagination, crossed paths with the confused dog.Additionally, early on I came to sympathize greatly with Isabelle's situation. You did an exemplary job purveying her emotions and her innocent personality. Her reasoning behind joining the F-Zero race was easily believable. The personality's of the other main characters were quite well fleshed-out as well.
On to the negatives. I can see how this came to occur, seeing as all of this was written within the span of half of a month, but there were plenty of spelling, grammar, and even a few tense changes. I noticed several sentences at the beginning that I think might be run-ons.
In review: this was a very fun thread to read, with a great story, but the spelling and grammar mistakes are too many.
I do not nominate this thread for any bonuses.
Avatar courtesy of Jade Harley.