Frozen Fool

[Gamzee Makara]

This guy is fucking wild, man. Didn't say anything about the tower, didn't say anything about what direction it might lie in wait for us. But you know motherfucking what? This guy found it. His muscles are genuinely genius, and somehow create a functioning compass. Want some miracles? That, my dudes, is a fucking miracle. The whole while Renzo was leading us through the icey iceland, he was humming, dancing, skipping, and occasionally blowing on his sick horn. I even joined in, honking my lil' horns and clapping and carrying on. Strawso didn't really appreciate the cacophony, but dude has to learn to lighten up juuuust a little bit, ya feel?

"This is the structure, ja? The destination?" Renzo asks. I nod reeeeaaaal fast. I'm ready to get inside and reunite with mah best bro evar.

So we walk up to this Jade girl's tower, and I bang bang on the door a couple times. I ain't really sure how else to go about this. Was there a doorbell? Probably. Did I know how to use it? no, no I do not, sir or madame.

To my dee-light, a hear a LOTTA cursin' and swearing and bad words. You know, the type of shit ya wouldn't want your little ones hearing. This tirade of fucks, shits, damns, and the like was followed by stomping, some mechanical noise, and a rather gentlemanly and classy robotic voice. The door swings open. There he is. Beauty. Grace. Karkat Vantas.

"Hey Gamzee, you fucking clown. And uh..." Karkles takes a moment to stare vicariously at my righteous companions. "company. I'm happy you aren't dead. Or did you-"

I cut off my best bud with a biiiiiiig ol' hug, lifting his short lil' self off the ground. This friendly furrough results in a "GAH FUCK!" and yet another string of subsequent unpleasant words but it don't even matter bro! I've been reunited with ol' Karkat, the Cancer of my life!

"Friendship! Have you never seen a more beautious thing, my friend?" Renzo chuckles heartily, elbowing Straz in his grumpy gills. Strazio has a weird look on his face, as if he was trying to puzzle out a puzzle.

"Oh oh oh right! I been making all kinds of friends, dude! Like motherfuckers just down with the clown you feel me?"

"No, I really really don't, Gamzee."

"Right! Well this is Renzoooo," I say. Renzo says hello, friendly guy that he is. Karkat halfheartedly waves in his general direction, Karkat that he is.

"And this is Strazio! He's teaching me how to do maaaaagicks. It's like those miracles I always told you about, remember?"

"Yeah. You never shut up about them. And to this day I have yet to see one, other than maybe our friendship."

"D'aaaaw I feel the same way, buddy!" I say cheerfully back to him. What a nice guy, this Karkat.

"Ain't this the guy that almost killed you a while back? In that coliseum thing?" He asks with a wary stare.

"Maybe baby," I chaunte with a wink.

He groans, rolling his eyes and leads us all in the human dwelling with a wave of the arm. He mutters something about how I could make friends with a rock while he leads our merry band to the den-ish area. He's right, I totes could. Rocks are pretty chill. They rock. An older human dude made of metal and shit lumbers out of the shadows.

"This is Jade's dead robotic Grandpa. Don't mind him, he's dead. And a robot," says KK.

"Welcome, gentleman. Please take care not to track dirt or snow into the living room," the automaton chirps.

So this is how that night was spent, madafucka. Grandpabotdude made the fireplace litter than my poetry, Kar and I catch up, Renzo tells some stories from the icelands, and all the more things of all the everything that could have been talked about was talked about. Straz and Karkat get acquantiminated far better than I could have hoped.

"So you're Karkat?" my bro asks with a tilt of the head.

"No, I'm Omni, nice to fucking meetcha," my other bro spits.

"Hey fuck you!" Straz cuts him off with a scowl.

"No, fuck you!" Kar says, not missing a beat.

They glare at each other, and errbody else is hella quiet. You could like, make a quiet cake with how quiet it is in there, man. Suddenly, the two sourpusses start busting a gut, and acknowledge each other as equals im assumin'. I mean what else can you assume from that display, amirite?

Straz is on his phone, staring intently at something he's found on the dataverse during a lapse in conversation.

"What'd you find, Strawso?" I badger him after studying his expressions for a bit. He doesn't even look up from his phone, though, just mutters something almost to himself.

"Something odd."

------------

Grandpabot chortles and chuckles and shit, waving us on. Straz seemed a little antsy to get gone, so we wasted no time gathering ourselves and getting gone.

"Master Renzo and I shall take care of the tower while you're gone adventuring and what have you! That teleporter shall take you directly to Camelot. From there, Ambrosia should be a straight shot!" The botbot says.

"Ja, ja, I will guard the place with my life, my newfound friends!" Renzo proceeds to shout something that sounded vaguely like, 'Alfredosauce!' And that was that. We hoped Jade wouldn't mind a random buff stranger just, you know, chilling. In her house. And shit. Riiiiight well that's a problem for laters.

Karkat, Straz and I wave our homies g'bye, and step into the teleportematethingy. Not sure where we're going, but I'd follow these dudes into the abyss.