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Move Creation Workshop
(Less obligatory I am apparently now a pro comment. Still could be wrong. If I am, pls tell me. Thx.)
(07-22-2017, 05:51 PM)Veritas Night Wrote: [spoiler]As to why I killed all my moves, to change to a technology theme for the character.

Cybernetic Arm - Right
An experiment done to him against his will, the Cybernetic Arm replaces his right arm, which is also his dominant one. Made out of Cortosis, so that it can resist a Lightsaber, the Cybernetic Arm possesses a hidden emitter, that allows it to produce a twelve inch blade of energy out of the wrist, good for anchoring into buildings, or chopping things that get a bit too close. It’s also good at being used as a last resort type defense, should he need such. The Cybernetic Arm also has another mode, that will cause the arm to reassemble, missing the hand but appear to be a smooth cylinder, that is actually a blaster cannon with a range of 75 feet. The blasts of the cannon, and the movements of the wrist blade do low damage, both. The damage cannot be increased. It is moderately draining on his stamina, and can be used with other moves, so long as he doesn’t require the hand of the Cybernetic Arm for other moves. The arm has replaced his entire arm. 

As for the rate of fire, this can shoot a blast every ten seconds.  The arm is not without a few downsides. One of which is that he must remain stationary while changing modes, and cannot use other moves, when changing modes, unless they don't require the use of his hands. The speed of the move cannot exceed the speed of an arrow, unfortunately as that was one of the design flaws with the blaster that he uses. The Cybernetic Arm also requires periodic maintenance at an Imperial Facility, or by his own hands after about six blasts from it per thread. 

As to the giant vehicle, imagine a giant riding lawn mower, juryrigged to be remote controlled and hover. I'm going to rewrite the others, but I've fixed the cybernetic arm I believe.[/spoiler]

Firstly, why didn't you just upgrade your old moves to being technology themed? If all you're changing is how you do the move, rather than the actual move (besides cosmetics) then you don't need to sell your old one and rebuy the new ones. You almost definitely did not need to sell and then rebuy your whole moveset. It's a colossal waste of OM. But if you want to, then sure.

Secondly, for Cybernetic Arm, as I said before:
  • How long does it take to change modes?
  • Any restrictions on him while it changes modes?
  • Also, you're probably screwing yourself over with all these long reload/cooldown times. Cooldowns aren't really a drawback (so won't make your move stronger in most cases), they're generally just to stop something from being OP - like some debuffs for example (to stop them being spammed). If you want a reliable ranged weapon, 1 shot per second is good. Maybe have a "charge for up to 10 seconds" variant?
  • If you don't do that, I suggest you change it to "must charge for 10 seconds" from "once every ten seconds" and then state the restrictions on him while charging the attack. They seem similar but are actually pretty different. Charging it will make it stronger. Also, you said it does "low damage" yet you're spending 10 seconds on it. Don't nerf yourself into the ground. 
  • Uses per thread is a poor measure, some threads go on for weeks IC. 6 uses per fight, or per hour is better. Or 6 uses, and it takes 10 seconds or 1 minute or 5 minutes to replenish them. Or "after 6 uses in a short period of time (about half an hour or so) the cannon breaks down and must be repaired. Repairing takes 10 minutes on uninterrupted focus." Something like that.
Thirdly, how giant is the lawn mower? Give me a height. Also, just hover? Or ascend too?


Messages In This Thread
Move Creation Workshop - by Omni - 07-25-2015, 03:25 AM
RE: Quick Questions II - by Clownpiece - 11-13-2016, 11:10 PM

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