Assault on Darkshire - Spearhead OOC

[Illidan Stormrage]

Word Limit: 1000
Rounds: 3
Random Elements: on
Damage Meter: on

Fights larger than 1v1 will utilize a call system detailed at the end of this post. 1v1s will have 3 days per round unless the combatants wish to change this for whatever reason.

- Judge's discretion on whether or not the loser(s) is allowed to be executed
- The actual backdrop of the fight is just fodder and not much more than a location for most fights
- Participants are decided by what makes the most sense storywise/people's preference

Illidan's spearhead:

Warriors fighting on the forefront of this blood-soaked battlefield have far more to contend with than merely eachother: Demons and Soldiers fight across the area, and wherever one might look they shall find bolts, spears, fell magic, and even Siege munitions flying across the battlefield, all capable of ending the careless soldier's life in an instant. Fighters may quickly find themselves in the cross-fire if they're not careful. The brutal exchanges of melee combat create constantly shifting walls of men and demon, keeping the fighters confined within a chaotic battle area. The ground here is in some places unstable - Harsh marching, pitched combat, broken walls and siege weapons combined with the pale moors general mood create mud and uneven earth. The area is littered with the weapons of fallen warriors, should any prime wish to put them to use, and the air is misty and pungent. Many will find it hard just to breathe in this whirlwind of bloodshed and Chaos.

Thread here - http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=7530

[Illidan Stormrage]

I'll be trying to write up a post today, though there's a few things about Revan's post that I'll need to address when I have the time.

[Illidan Stormrage]

So I appreciate that this is your first fight Revan, so I can understand how you wrote the scene. However there's a lot there that's not particularly fair. Considering it's the first round of a three round fight, you've made Illidan extremely injured. Going through the post, here's a list of wounds for Illidan:

-diagonal slash over his back
-two vertical slashes over his chest
-diagonal sword strike
-multiple arrow injuries
-magical fireball impact on chest
-hortizontal slash over chest
-two more diagonal slashes
-stab wound through left arm
-slash over face
-slash over right hip
-slash down spine
-stab through the chest
-kick into chest
-miscellaneous light strikes
-large heavy blow (not specified where)
-two diagonal strikes

While Revan received a grand total of none injuries. Illidan made a few attacks but they were all blocked.

Since it's a fight and Illidan is a proficient warrior, this doesn't make sense. If Illidan took that much damage, there should at least be some trade-off for Revan to achieve that. In a real fight, it's common for both participants to be injured, especially if they're magically powered ultra swordsmen from fantasy worlds. So make sure in the future that you make the fight more square, that for every step your character takes, so does your enemy take one.

Secondly, if you look at Illidan's stats, they're heavily balanced towards strength and speed while having almost no defence. He doesn't wear armour nor have the Survival trait, so all of Illidan's combat prowess comes from dodging and attacking swiftly. To have this many wounds this early on would mean either a) Revan is leagues above Illidan in power (he's not, even with a power-up) or b) Illidan would have to be vastly overwhelmed (while 2v1 is definitely reason for him to sustain more injuries than normal, he's not that much overwhelmed). It also means that, if I were playing Illidan as he's intended to be played, he's pretty much stuffed now. He has many cuts caused by swords, even one across his face, so he'd be losing a lot of blood. He doesn't have Survival so he can't ignore the wounds and just fight on (I do have a way around this, but that's neither here nor there).

You could argue that Okor took a lot of damage from Illidan in Okor's first post while Illidan received barely anything, but that ignores the fact that Okor has high defence (higher than Illidan's attack) so strikes, while they'll hurt and do some damage, will still be mitigated well. Also Okor has the Survival trait, so even grievous wounds won't stop him, which puts Illidan at a big disadvantage. So overall, while blows have been traded, no one has taken the upper hand.

I can still work with what you've done, but please make sure your future posts are more even. Please don't be discouraged by this; I just want to point this out so that it'll help you improve as you keep writing. If you have any questions, please let me know.

[Illidan Stormrage]

Post up!

[Revan Noctis]

My apologies do not take what I wrote as being unfair. Actually I was under the impression my attacks would be so weak that they would not in fact harm your character at all. ( I am trying to understand how's the pvp system works )
I will be more aware of this in the future.

Also I do not particularly like to write the actions of other people's characters nor do I like them to write mine.. but if it is necessary for the battle I am willing to attempt it.

[Revan Noctis]

Ah sorry I forgot to edit in the moves just so you guys know my moves I used were
Long sword, Bow and Fire blast. I will try to edit it in later if I am allowed but I will make sure I add it in next time.

[Ezrihel]

I'm no longer allowing edits for word counts after today 9PM EST, so keep that in mind guys.

Revan, since you submitted your edit after the cut off time and AFTER Illidan had repsonded (thus ending the round), it does not count. Once you submit an edit, we can not roll back your post, so in order to keep fight continuity, we had to 'approve' it.

Because you so blatantly disregarded the multiple cut-off times and just plain etiquette for not editing a post after it's been responded to, your first round score will be nullified.

Round One Results

[spoiler]

Just to let everyone know, I'm using THIS grading system.

[/spoiler]

[Revan Noctis]

I was busy and am not an American I only got the message at that time. 
But fine if that is how you want it to be.

[Okor]

I'm gonna call. Almost done with this.

[Illidan Stormrage]

I'll let Revan go next.

EDIT: Oh he's already posted.

[Illidan Stormrage]

My post is up. Round 2 done!

[Ezrihel]

Round Two Results

[spoiler]

Advice to Revan: You need to work on both your realism and your technical. Commas are incredibly important punctuation and you don't ever use them at any time during your posts. This lack of separation makes every sentence drone on, seem slow and very long winded. It weighs down your fight post and makes it almost painful to read.

As for your realism score, yeah. You still need to very much work on trading blows with your opponent within your post. Don't be afraid of writing someone's character. If you're uncertain, send them a PM and ask "Hey I'm planning to do [move], what would your character do in response to it?" This is a collaborative writing site, after all. I understand that you're in Australia, and it can be a bit difficult for you to have a full blown conversation with the other writers on the site, however, you should still try to communicate with them.
[/spoiler]

[Revan Noctis]

Okor would you like to go next?

[Okor]

Okor would you like to go next?

Yeah, I'll have a post up tomorrow.

[Okor]

Callin, just getting some feedback on it before I post the final version.

[Okor]

Oh dangnabbit, forgot to list moves used, going to submit an edit for that now.

[Okor]

Yo Illidan, assuming the timer's running off of your last post, you've got about 12 hours left.

[Illidan Stormrage]

If thats the case, I probably won't make it.

[Ezrihel]

If thats the case, I probably won't make it.

If you need an extension, you may send me a PM or request it here in the thread.

[Illidan Stormrage]

All right. Could I get until around this time in two days? Right now it's 14/02 at 5:26pm, so up til 16/02 5:30pm? If it wasn't Valentine's Day today I'd be getting it done.