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Hal Jordan
#1
*Note this is an alternate account for Warren Zimmer given that I have the Omnilium for such. 

Character name:   Hal Jordan

Character source:  DC Comics New 52

Character history:    After Sinestro destroyed the Guardians,  the Templar Guardians appointed Hal Jordan in charge of the Green Lantern Corps.  The moment he was put in charge, the Durlans… a race of shapeshifters started to cause problems.   At that moment he abdicated his position in the Green Lanterns,  abandoning his ring and taking on the  power of the gauntlet.  A battle with his second in command made him out to be one of the criminals of the Green Lantern Corps.  Knocked on the head and given a Concussion,  Hal would awaken to find himself in the Omniverse.  His ring was replaced with the Gauntlet of Krona,   and now Hal has to learn how to use it while at the same time trying to gather up any other Lanterns out there to reforge the Corps.  

Physical Description:  

[Image: captain_hal_jordan_by_hollywood690.jpg]

Stats:
ATK: 3
DEF: 2
SPD: 2
TEC: 3


Starting Proficiencies:
Ranged Proficiency (1000)
Ranged Materialize Proficiency (600)
Remote Control Proficiency  (600)

Starting Powers:
Flight (1800)

Starting Moves:

  • Krona’s Gauntlet (Weapon,  requires Ranged Proficiency and Ranged Materialize Proficiency as well as Remote Control Proficiency. ):   Krona’s Gauntlet is the precursor to the rings worn by the Green Lanterns. Since his arrival here many of the capabilities of the gauntlet have been locked due to insufficient power.  However he has still retained the ability to fly,  speak other languages and of course create energy constructs which is what allows him to fight.   This enables him to do the moves listed below. 
  • Cannon (300, requires Ranged Proficiency, Remote Control Proficiency and Ranged Materialize Proficiency.):   One of the constructs of Hal. This is a green colored construct but appears to look like a Sci Fi laser cannon.  The cannon takes about 30 seconds of continued charging during which Hal can move around freely. The cannon takes a lot of concentration and is very dangerous for Hal to use because should he break his focus HE would be the one receiving damage from this move.  Any time he wants to re-use the cannon he must simply recreate it once more.  The beam is about the size of a school bus.  The beam travels at about 50 MPH.  It can be broken assuming someone is fast enough to punch the beam out or has a powerful energy attack that can disrupt this move.  If it is broken it takes roughly 2 minutes for him to be able to use the cannon again.  This has a range of 70 Meters.  The cannon requires that he choose his own targets.  In addition it could potentially make him pass out if he were to spam the cannon.   It cannot be used with other moves.  This move is severely damaging. 
  • Plasma Burst:  (300,  Ranged Proficiency and Ranged Materialize Proficiency.):      Plasma Burst fires a blast of green energy out of the gauntlet. The blast takes about 10 seconds for him to make.  The blast has a range of 70 Meters from his person at any one time. The speed is about 60 MPH.   After this attack Hal would be down on one knee and panting for breath because it's very draining. Sometimes if he has to use 2 of these in a short order he'd even throw up a little.   This can indeed be used while moving,  especially while flying.  It takes about 15 seconds before he could use this move again however.   It requires some focus.   The Plasma Burst is about 10 feet by 5 feet  in length and width.  This would be moderately damaging. 


Fluff Moves:

  • Construct Creation:   One of the standard abilities provided by the Gauntlet or by a typical power ring.  This allows him outside of combat to create constructs.  But they still follow the same rules as a summon but with one difference. This doesn't eat up Omnilium for him to use. However it should be noted that the constructs are at best temporary and are only as strong as his will.  Furthermore these constructs cannot be used in combat.  
  • Translation App:  This allows him to understand the various languages of the people here, a protocol built into the gauntlet

I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct.   Yes


Where did you find us?  I’m a member
#2
History is a little vague. Probably fine though, but something to consider.

Cannon: Coming along good, though could use more detail on what it looks like.

Huge Fist: I need to know the size of the fists in both functions. Also, this most likely requires Area Attack Proficiency.

Construct Creation: This conflicts with summoning rules, consider revising.

Translation App: Clear
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#3
In light of edits:

Barrage: This may also require Area Attack proficiency, unless if the missiles do anything other than explode on impact. Please re-read proficiencies.

Construct Creation: Pretty sure you don't need to specify that you don't spend OM when summoning things with your gauntlet considering most things you summon out of battle is hand waved anyways.
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#4
I've done the best I can. Hopefully it's acceptable.
#5
Plasma Burst: Sounds like it would require Debuff.
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#6
Edited it so it doesn't need debuff.
#7
Krona's Gauntlet: Is this just a 0 OM move that's explaining how the other moves stem from it? It's currently reading like it's own move, but has no price listed, so I thought I'd ask. The lesser construct part specifically will need to be explained somewhat, since as you list them as being able to be used in combat it seems to be separate from your Construct Creation fodder move.

Cannon: Can you describe the size of the cannon? What's the size of the beam? How fast does the beam travel? What's the range? Does this take concentration to maintain? How draining is this on Hal? Does the cannon need to be re-summoned for every use or does it persist? Can it be broken? Is this usable with other moves?

Plasma Burst: What's the size of the blast? Exactly how damaging is it? Leaving it as 'unknown' isn't gonna fly. How fast does the blast move? What's the range? Can this be used while moving? Does it require concentration to charge? How draining is this on Hal? Can it be used with other moves
Daniel Wrote:gonna milk the shit out of those milkies

Gildarts Wrote:Sorry if you got diabetes from this, and sorry again if you were offended by that comment because you do have diabetes.

Alex Wrote:clowns don't have marriage rights

#8
1. This explains his other abilities. However like it did in the Comics and in various videogames/what not, the gauntlet is capable of producing energy constructs that CAN be used in combat, the only reason that that was mentioned. If need be, I'll edit. As for the other two things, I'm working on them.
#9
Krona's Gauntlet: I'm really more asking if he can use this presently to make any other constructs than what you've made moves for. Like, could he at the time of entering the Omniverse create a crossbow or something and use it in combat? You'd only be able to make things that you buy moves for, so I'm trying to be clear with that part. Though I know the Lanterns in the comics make a plethora of weapons, barriers etc., you'd need to buy them separately. Probably something you're already aware of, but I just want to remove all doubt.

Cannon: Still need the range, stamina drain and if it can be used with other moves. Also, just so you know, the cannon can't smartly choose it's own targets unless it's an assist. You'd need to control it. I'm assuming you know that due to the Remote Control Prof. listed, but yeah.

Burst: What's the projectile size? How damaging is it? Does it require concentration to charge? Can it be used with other moves?
Daniel Wrote:gonna milk the shit out of those milkies

Gildarts Wrote:Sorry if you got diabetes from this, and sorry again if you were offended by that comment because you do have diabetes.

Alex Wrote:clowns don't have marriage rights

#10
Oh... so he can't make constructs other than the ones he has moves for? That... complicates matters. As for the other two I will fix it.
#11
Krona's Gauntlet: Yeah, I mean you can make stuff out of combat but anything you'd be using in combat you'll need a move for. Check out Thaal's moves for more on how that would work.

Cannon: Looks good.

Burst: Can you describe the size better, in terms of meters/feet? Also be sure to mention how wide it is, as well as the length. How damaging is it on the receiving end?
Daniel Wrote:gonna milk the shit out of those milkies

Gildarts Wrote:Sorry if you got diabetes from this, and sorry again if you were offended by that comment because you do have diabetes.

Alex Wrote:clowns don't have marriage rights

#12
I've fixed everything I do believe.
#13
You'll need to better describe the damage in more general terms like, severely damaging, moderately damaging, etc. How much damage it does roughly won't depend on whether the person is a Prime or not, it's inherent to the move. You won't be able to be killing Secondaries with a single move, especially since a good number of them are actually stronger than new Primes anyway. How much damage is done will depend on ATK of Hal vs DEF of the person you're attacking, but having a qualifier like "heavily damaging" or "mildly damaging" helps with making the move more balanced.
Daniel Wrote:gonna milk the shit out of those milkies

Gildarts Wrote:Sorry if you got diabetes from this, and sorry again if you were offended by that comment because you do have diabetes.

Alex Wrote:clowns don't have marriage rights

#14
Edited.. I believe everything is sufficient.
#15
Name: Hal Jordan
Level: 1
Spent OM: 4600
Proficiencies: (2200); Ranged Proficiency (1000), Ranged Materialize Proficiency (600), Remote Control Proficiency (600)
Powers: (1800/8000), Flight (1800)
Moves: (600); Krona's Gauntlet (0), Cannon (300), Plasma Burst (300)
Super Moves:
Transformations:
Assists:
Items:
Bases:
Unlocks:
Base stats
ATK: 3
DEF: 2
SPD: 2
TEC: 3

Make a new thread in the Roster section and copy and paste the above into the first post. It is also highly recommended that you make more posts within your own roster that details any extra information about your character that you wish to include. Any future purchases can be made here.

You should also visit this, as it will help you with proceeding after getting your character approved.

Enjoy the new character!
Daniel Wrote:gonna milk the shit out of those milkies

Gildarts Wrote:Sorry if you got diabetes from this, and sorry again if you were offended by that comment because you do have diabetes.

Alex Wrote:clowns don't have marriage rights



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