Do I need any improvements to my story

[Asriel Dreemurr]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10791372/1/...Story-Ever Here's the link. Fun fact: It's the only canon story I have written on FanFiction.

[Asriel Dreemurr]

Bump.

[Asriel Dreemurr]

Bump again.

[Proto Man]

Do you have a link to your most recent thread?

[Proto Man]

I'll set aside some time to read your story later today and see if I can't give you some pointers.

[Asriel Dreemurr]

Thanks. I'm actually in the process of rebooting it, so a few pointers would be great. Also, I'm thinking of removing the parody element of the Ultimate Omnitrix story by DIZILLA where someone from the original Teen Titans television show gets an Omnitrix from Ben 10. The idea is starting to feel gimmicky, but I just might revise the idea so only a few Titans get it. Maybe even the people at the East Tower!

[Asriel Dreemurr]

I just read the first chapter of my story, and it wasn't very good. All further contributors, I apologize for the plot holes and writing quality. For people who just want to read it and not contribute, don't be turned away. As mentioned in my last post, I'm rebooting the story. I̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶p̶t̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ any further writing by me shall be made to the second edition.