Move Creation Workshop

[Shantotto]

Working on a close range Bind spell used to punish people who try to get too close.
(stun lock)

ideas and suggestions are welcome

[Reece]

[Spoiler]Replace the "about as powerful as arrows" part with something equivalent to, "each bullet if fairly weak by itself, but together they can be powerful - if they all hit".

Also, "semi-automatic rate of fire (one shot each time the trigger is pulled)" primes are typically superhuman so you should really clarify here. 

• Dimensional Beam. An inch-thick beam of purple energy which keeps going until it reaches its max range or hits a target. Upon hitting someone, the beam of energy will disable a single move for 10 seconds. In order to disable a move, Warren must have seen it used at least once, and must concentrate on which of their moves he wishes to remove whilst he fires. Each character can only have up to one move removed at a time. In the case of weapon-type moves, the item vanishes into a pocket dimension for the duration. In the case of magical moves, the character still remembers how their move functions (as this is not a mental effect), but the Omnilium expended to purchase that move is sealed away in the pocket dimension, rendering it temporarily unusable. Each dimensional cartridge only holds enough power for a single shot.

This needs more drawbacks. Especially since, while I see what you're doing when it comes to trying to find a way to do this without telepathy, it's now a lot stronger than just sealing the move. A lot of people have moves linked to weapons - removing the weapon would give him a 2-for-1 combo of sorts since the weapon would disappear and render the other moves impossible to use. Also, you should clarify that this beam does no damage and can't be used on super moves. If you added a stationary charge time in addition to the reload, it might be passable. You should also really add a fatigue cost, since you'll probably not want a long charge time. Lastly, I can't really vouch for the "locking OM" thing, and imo the flavour text for it is pretty sketchy. You might get it at approval, but I have some doubts. I wouldn't count on it, but I can't comfortably make a ruling.[/spoiler]

• When Daniel rewrote Hecate's move he said that the shards of ice were as powerful as crossbow bolts, and that got approved just fine. This proves that comparisons to the strength of real-world projectiles are viable.

• I know for a fact that you are incorrect here, since my character Hijiri has a gun with a semi-automatic rate of fire. Honestly, if anything, there's too much info there. I included the bit in the brackets for Warren's benefit, as I don't know how knowledgeable he is about guns.

• There is no fatigue cost in the way I wrote it. It's an ammo type, so the only fatigue is the energy required to resist the gun's recoil... which in this case is no greater than a normal-strength shot, hence why I have omitted it (the same way everyone else seems to).

• The duration is ten seconds. Warren will already have to spend 3 seconds reloading at some point before and after firing this beam. The '2-for-1' you mentioned is barely worth consideration given how quickly the effect wears off, and an additional charge time would be absurd... Warren would be more severely negatively affected by using his own move than his opponent would.

• Your other points seem valid to me.

• That said, in theory, Omnillium doesn't vanish when it is spent, it gets converted into either a physical object or some sort of ability. The point I was trying to get across is that this move seals the item/ability without affecting the mind at all... this should be viable, since the Insight Power allows characters to perfectly understand a move when they see it, but does not allow them to use it, meaning that there must be a reason beyond simple lack of comprehension why characters cannot all use magic in the OV. You see? There has to be something, tangible or otherwise, involved in the use of moves that goes beyond thought, and that is what this is removing.

Also, on another point, the people with moves that rely on other moves for their effects aren't even the most harshly affected by this. People like Emps & Ebony are the ones who'd really suffer when fighting Warren if this thing is approved.
Say goodbye to your 3k OM moves.

[Dane Regan]

• There is no fatigue cost in the way I wrote it. It's an ammo type, so the only fatigue is the energy required to resist the gun's recoil... which in this case is no greater than a normal-strength shot, hence why I have omitted it (the same way everyone else seems to).

• The duration is ten seconds. Warren will already have to spend 3 seconds reloading at some point before and after firing this beam. The '2-for-1' you mentioned is barely worth consideration given how quickly the effect wears off, and an additional charge time would be absurd... Warren would be more severely negatively affected by using his own move than his opponent would.

This magically seals a move of Warren's choice just by him pulling the trigger. I'm going to give that a solid no. Not as it stands. The 3 second reload time is alright, but considering he can dodge and flip about, it's not good enough for something like this. No. If he had to stand still while reloading to calibrate the shot to a specific enemy and move, as well as expending his own energy into the gun to do so, then maybe. But right now the drawbacks aren't good enough.

[Schwi Dola]

You say that like its 3 seconds and not 6 seconds. That is a lot of time. Don't think it needs Telepathy, its not affecting the mind. It would need Debuff Proficency. Seems fine, but the no fatigue for ammo is a bit of a misnomer? Its supposed to cost you to have ammo, in the cost with summoning the ammo.

[Reece]

I agree with Schwi. Reload times are a little different from charge times, but it's still six seconds for a non-damaging ten second effect. Extending it further seems like it would ruin the move to me.
Maybe giving it the same level of recoil as the sniper shot would be okay, but I wouldn't think it should need anything more than that.

... Just remember that whilst it's easy to say that it could be really good against certain types of character, it could also be total trash against others, even as it is written currently, never mind with even worse drawbacks. If Warren fought Tearen, for example, which of his many moves would the God-Mind seriously struggle without? Or what about Belle, who has no moves at all and four Stat Upgrades?

[Viola]

Tearen doesn't have that many damaging moves, only one of those is a melee one I think. So, actually, it would still limit him a fair bit in some scenarios. Either way, if you're not increasing the duration required to set up the move, you should replace the reload with something close to a charge time for that variant. And add a fatigue cost. At the moment the drawbacks are too few. Have him have to stand still while reloading that shot type and focus on his target and the target move. Then give it a strong recoil. I'd accept that. At the very least, it needs a fatigue cost.

[Reece]

Okay, okay, fine, how about this?

[spoiler]Yandere Hater 9000 (900)
(Ranged Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)

The Yandere Hater 9000 is a 40 inch grey and purple blaster rifle which can fire three types of ammunition. Changing power cartridges (such as when switching ammo types or reloading) takes 3 seconds. The Yandere Hater 9000 has an effective range of 90 feet and its shots travel at the speed of arrows.

The three ammo types are:
• Standard Blasts. Foot-long, inch-thick beams of purple energy about as powerful as arrows. They cauterise any wounds they inflict, preventing blood loss. This ammunition type has a semi-automatic rate of fire (one shot each time the trigger is pulled) and each cartridge holds enough power for 21 blasts. When loading this ammunition, Warren cannot fight, as the process requires the use of both hands and for him to Focus mostly on his weapon; he can still walk or run as normal, though.

• Sniper Beam. An inch-thick beam of purple energy which keeps going until it reaches its max range or hits a target. Upon striking someone, the beam will deal high damage. This beam cauterises any wounds it inflicts, preventing blood loss. Each sniper cartridge only holds enough power for a single shot. This ammo type has a strong recoil, so Warren will tire himself out if he uses it too frequently. When loading this ammunition, Warren cannot fight, as the process requires the use of both hands and for him to Focus mostly on his weapon; he can still walk or run as normal, though.

• Dimensional Beam. An inch-thick beam of purple energy which keeps going until it reaches its max range or hits a target. Upon hitting someone, the beam of energy will disable a single move for 10 seconds. Each character can only have up to one move removed at a time. In the case of weapon-type moves, the item vanishes into a pocket dimension for the duration. In the case of magical moves, the character still remembers how their move functions (as this is not a mental effect), but the Omnilium expended to purchase that move is sealed away in the pocket dimension, rendering it temporarily unusable. Each dimensional cartridge only holds enough power for a single shot. This ammo type has a strong recoil, so Warren will tire himself out if he uses it too frequently. In order to disable a move, Warren must have seen it used at least once, at some point before loading this ammunition. When loading this ammunition, Warren cannot fight or move at all, as the process of calibrating the shot to disable a specific move takes his complete Focus.[/spoiler]

[Viola]

Sure, that would probably work - assuming Warren wants to keep the move.

[Reece]

Yeah.

[Jack Darby]

Love it so far.

[13-Jzall]

Flechette Blaster, 300 OM, requires homing prof and ranged prof



The Flechette Blaster is a small pistol in 13's coat, it has 10 darts that travel as fast as a bullet in a single cartridge and will shoot all of them with a single press of the trigger at a rate of two per second. When a dart his the target it will emit a homing beacon, making other darts change their course to focus on one area. The darts by themselves deal low amounts of damage but can stack up to hit harder than 13 normally can. The darts will only change direction if a new one hits, so if the target moves left they can easily avoid the other darts. If the target has suppression and an equal or higher TEC than 13 the darts will not be able to track. The darts can move up to 90 degrees each time one hits and will continue moving as fast as a bullet while making those turns. It takes 3 seconds to reload.

[Jack Darby]

(Ignore.)

[James Knight]

Yandere Hater 9000 (900)
(Ranged Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)

The Yandere Hater 9000 is a 40 inch grey and purple blaster rifle which can fire three types of ammunition. Changing power cartridges (such as when switching ammo types or reloading) takes 3 seconds. The Yandere Hater 9000 has an effective range of 90 feet and its shots travel at the speed of arrows.

The three ammo types are:
• Standard Blasts. Foot-long, inch-thick beams of purple energy about as powerful as arrows. They cauterise any wounds they inflict, preventing blood loss. This ammunition type has a semi-automatic rate of fire (one shot each time the trigger is pulled) and each cartridge holds enough power for 21 blasts. When loading this ammunition, Warren cannot fight, as the process requires the use of both hands and for him to Focus mostly on his weapon; he can still walk or run as normal, though.

• Sniper Beam. An inch-thick beam of purple energy which keeps going until it reaches its max range or hits a target. Upon striking someone, the beam will deal high damage. This beam cauterises any wounds it inflicts, preventing blood loss. Each sniper cartridge only holds enough power for a single shot. This ammo type has a strong recoil, so Warren will tire himself out if he uses it too frequently. When loading this ammunition, Warren cannot fight, as the process requires the use of both hands and for him to Focus mostly on his weapon; he can still walk or run as normal, though.

• Dimensional Beam. An inch-thick beam of purple energy which keeps going until it reaches its max range or hits a target. Upon hitting someone, the beam of energy will disable a single move for 10 seconds. Each character can only have up to one move removed at a time. In the case of weapon-type moves, the item vanishes into a pocket dimension for the duration. In the case of magical moves, the character still remembers how their move functions (as this is not a mental effect), but the Omnilium expended to purchase that move is sealed away in the pocket dimension, rendering it temporarily unusable. Each dimensional cartridge only holds enough power for a single shot. This ammo type has a strong recoil, so Warren will tire himself out if he uses it too frequently. In order to disable a move, Warren must have seen it used at least once, at some point before loading this ammunition. When loading this ammunition, Warren cannot fight or move at all, as the process of calibrating the shot to disable a specific move takes his complete Focus. 

[Viola]

@Warren: Remove this bit. You don't need to add this. "In addition for 5 seconds after firing, he is completely immobilized, unable to attack or defend, or move at all. In addition this move comes with another drawback. For 10 seconds afterwards, Warren is completely immobilized, unable to attack or defend himself, or move at all."

[Viola]

Flechette Blaster, 300 OM, requires homing prof and ranged prof



The Flechette Blaster is a small pistol in 13's coat, it has 10 darts that travel as fast as a bullet in a single cartridge and will shoot all of them with a single press of the trigger at a rate of two per second. When a dart his the target it will emit a homing beacon, making other darts change their course to focus on one area. The darts by themselves deal low amounts of damage but can stack up to hit harder than 13 normally can. The darts will only change direction if a new one hits, so if the target moves left they can easily avoid the other darts. If the target has suppression and an equal or higher TEC than 13 the darts will not be able to track. The darts can move up to 90 degrees each time one hits and will continue moving as fast as a bullet while making those turns. It takes 3 seconds to reload.

You make it sound like there are multiple darts in the air at once. Yet, they move at bullet speed and only one fires every half a second. Which doesn't really make sense. Also, remove this part: "If the target has suppression and an equal or higher TEC than 13 the darts will not be able to track."

[Reece]

@Warren - That move is probably as ready as it's going to get. Unless you have any other effects you'd like to add in first, I'd suggest you try posting it in the Move Approval thread and see what happens.
If it does get rejected for some reason, we can look at what the mods had to say about it and make any necessary changes, but as it is now I think is probably fine to get approved.

[13-Jzall]

@viola would all the bullets being shot out in one or two seconds work or should I have more bullets or slower darts?

[Jack Darby]

Fire.EXE (Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack, Debuff, ???. 600 OM): 

Fire.EXE is a command that Rafael can choose to activate. This takes him about 2 seconds to activate, during which time he cannot do anything, attack, or defend, or move at all. However, once this is charged up he may move, and attack, and defend as usual. This attack possesses two forms that he can choose to use on an opponent. 

Single Shot - Single Shot is the first form of Fire.EXE. This creates a Fireball that shoots out of his Tablet which materializes it out of Code and then sends it at an opponent. Travels at the speed of an arrow, moderately draining on his stamina. Cannot be used with other moves but he can move, and defend himself as needed. 

Rain of Fire:  Rain of Fire is the second form of Fire.EXE. This creates a storm cloud above an opponent. The Storm Cloud shoots out crystals that explode into small fireballs when exposed to the air, homing in on an opponent, to smack into them, and deal moderate damage. They also catch an opponent on fire for 5 seconds, making it harder for them to attack. 

Barrier.EXE: (Ranged Proficiency, Area Shield, Area Attack, Homing, ??? OM)

The barrier is yet another program that Rafael can run on his tablet. Based off of a Firewall, this creates a dome of fire that can protect both him, and one other person. What is unique is that this takes him about 5 seconds to charge up, but then comes with a special property of sorts that Rafael can choose to use, or Unicron can. Upon a successful impact against the shield, the shield will retaliate with a purple bolt of fire, or lightning at an opponent, dealing the maximum amount of damage it is possible for Rafael to deal to anyone who is hit by the attack. This is homing, and has a range of 80 feet. Travels at the speed of an arrow. This is moderately draining on his stamina to use, however.

[Viola]

@13: I would recommend you either slow down the darts and increase the fire rate, or have them all get shot out at once in a cone-like shotgun blast. The latter option could work pretty well, imo.

@Warren:
Fire.exe:
Single Shot:
>Roughly how big is the fireball?

Rain of Fire:
>How big is the storm cloud or the area it covers?
>How far away can Raf create the cloud?
>Roughly how high is the cloud created?
>How big are the small fireballs?
>How many small fireballs are fired?
>How fast are the small fireballs?
>How 'homing' are they? Do they curve a little bit? A lot? Can they make a sharp 90 degree turn or will they have to do a slow loop instead?
>Each small fireball would do light damage. You have multiple and they're all homing.
>I recommend you add a comment that this variant of the move is very tiring.

>This move needs ranged materialise and homing.

Barrier.EXE:
>Can he move while charging, and does it require all his concentration?
>How big is the dome?
>I recommend you just remove the lightning part. Or clarify the difference between the lightning and fire.
>How strong is the shield?
>How many attacks can it retaliate with?
>Does Raf have to stay inside the dome and concentrate on it? Or can he leave and attack?
>If undamaged, how long does the dome last?

[13-Jzall]

[spoiler]Flechette Blaster, 300 OM, requires homing prof and ranged prof



The Flechette Blaster is a small pistol in 13's coat, it has 10 darts that travel as fast as a bullet in a single cartridge and will shoot all of them with a single press of the trigger in a second. When a dart his the target it will emit a homing beacon, making other darts change their course to focus on one area. The darts by themselves deal low amounts of damage but can stack up to hit harder than 13 normally can. The darts will only change direction if a new one hits, so if the target moves left they can easily avoid the other darts. The darts can move up to 90 degrees each time one hits and will continue moving as fast as a bullet while making those turns. It takes 3 seconds to reload. There is a small amount of sideways recoil if 13 only uses one arm to aim, although if he uses multiple arms to control it he will have to slow down. The gun will always have the same amount of vertical recoil though, moving up 10 cm.[/spoiler]