Corrupt a Wish!

[The Vision]

I saw this on Myth-Weavers and I liked the concept. The premise is that you grant the previous poster's wish, but in a way that makes the wish undesirable. Then you post your own wish.

For example:
"I wish I had a cookie."
"Granted. It's made out of rubber."

I'll go first. I wish my ear didn't hurt.

[Jak Mar]

Granted. Your ears now cause a blistering headache.

I wish I had a tattoo

[Desman Black]

[s]Granted, You do not have ears[s]
Granted, but the ink is made out of poision

I wish to be Ash's Husbando forever (has now stopped the thread, for there is no way to make it undesirable)

[King Ghidorah]

Edit: Dangit, too slow on the draw. 

... granted. But you've both developed a number of minor but-progressively-more-irritating personal habits, which will eventually cause you to spiral downwards into a festering cesspit of mutual hatred.

Double-edit: Nothing complicated here. I wish I had twenty million dollars.

[The Vision]

(Post your own wish, Ghidorah!!!)
Granted. Enjoy your eternal marriage to Ash Ketchum.

I wish I could wear hoodies in the summer without feeling hot.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

Don't worry. You were never sexy in the first place. The hoodies you wear look dumb so you'll never be sexy in them.

I wish I could cast magic spells (irl).

[Cirno]

Granted you can only use explosion magic when you sneeze

I wish I could live in Antarctica

[King Ghidorah]

Granted. But after about ten minutes of exposure, you're also going to die in antarctica.

Still waiting on my twenty-million dollars.

[Summer]

It's all marked. Spend it and say hi to the FBI.

I wish it was winter already.

[Desman Black]

Granted, you now live in australia where anything can kill you

I wish I was a real boy

[PepsiYuuka]

Granted. Congratulations, you are now a real boy, but you are also now hurtling towards death on the train known as human mortality once more.

I wish I didn't have to wake up so early for things.

[Cirno]

Granted now everytime you sleep you get hit in the face by a boulder

I wish to be the strongest

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

You are turned into a potato. Don't worry. You are now the strongest potato.

I wish there was a Spice and Wolf season 3.

[Desman Black]

Granted, but it's worse then the super mario bros. live action movie

Now, let's try to stop the thread again. I wish to be the hysbando of  Emma 'Ash' Shutter forever

[Summer]

You will forever be in each other's minds, but you'll never be able to see or contact each other ever again.

I wish I lived in an old Victorian mansion

[MADBULL34]

You will forever be in each other's minds, but you'll never be able to see or contact each other ever again.

I wish I lived in an old Victorian mansion

You are the owner of an old Victorian mansion, but you bought it when it was newly built. Today you haunt the halls of the derelict structure, and will do so forever until the Ghostbusters exile you into an eternity in a hellish scientific prison.

I wish I never had to wear dress shoes to work.

[King Ghidorah]

Granted. You now have to wear fishnet stockings with crocs.

I wish I had a clone army.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

You get your army, but order 66 is executed and the clones all turn on you.

I wish I was a powerful sith lord.

[The Vision]

Granted. They forget to put you on the "Nah these guys are chill don't kill them" list and Ghidorah's clone army kills you.

I wish I could control time.

[Luci]

Edit: damn four posts behind I'm out on this threaed