[M] How to be cool (In 27 easy steps)

[Desman Black]

Hey Kid! So You're getting picked on in school? The other boys! They say you just ain't cool. Well that's bullshit! I'm gonna teach you the rules and those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more

I am a bad boy from the tough side of town . I am the Cool Patrol, I'll turn your life around. Those bullies are shit, and their ass is done for now. I'm gonna show you how! So fuckin' listen now! 

Step 1: Put your hands in the air 
Step 2: Jump off of the ground
Step 3: Take that funky butt
Step 4: Shake it all around
Steo 5: Lightly jog in place
Step 6: Crank it up to a prance
(This is the cool patrol dance)

Step 7: Put your hands in your pockets
Step 8: Take them right back out
Strp 9: Spin around in a circle
Step 10: Make an animal sound (moo)
Step 11: Glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants (This is the cool patrol dance )

You getting all this?
That wasn't actually very helpful, It was just sort of an instructional dance
Hell yeah!

Step 12: Put your hands in the air
Step 13: Stick out your rear end
Step 14: Wiggle it real hard
Step 15: Hug your closest friend
Step 16: Wildly remove your clothes and tear away pants (This is the cool patrol dance)

Step 17: Rub peanut butter on you from your head to your feet
Step 18: Cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats
Step 19: Slap a camel (this could be your only chance) (This is the cool patrol dance)

Step 20: Have a cool break. have a kitkat.

Step 21: Put your hands in the air
Step 22: Grab a bird from the sky
Step 23: Eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight
Step 24: Dive bomb fish with your vision enhanced (This is the cool patrol dance)

You're basically a superhero now

Step 25: Throw some cars
Step 26: Rub your magnum thighs together to set fire to Mars
Step 27: Harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance (This is the cool patrol dance!)

Your training is complete! Now go show those fuckers who's boss!
[Disclaimer: Doing this in real life may lead to death by pummeling]

[Takanomiya Hijiri]

[Disclaimer: Doing this in real life may lead to death by pummeling]

And/or death by choking when you attempt to eat a living bird whole.

[13-Jzall]

>Implying that I'm not cool already

[Alex Mercer]

Step 21: Put your hands in the air
Step 22: Grab a bird from the sky
Step 23: Eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight

This applies to me all too well.

[Amaterasu]

Step 25: Throw some cars
Step 26: Rub your magnum thighs together to set fire to Mars

Don't actually throw vehicles and set fire to planets, you'll get charged with destroying people's property and astronomical terrorism. I'll be seeing NASA and a bunch of angry drivers in court tomorrow :zany:

[13-Jzall]

Technically space and the planets of it aren't owned by anyone so setting fire to mars is legal as long as you avoid the rovers that are on it.

[King Ghidorah]

Does this mean that Captain Planet is a master of the Cool Patrol dance?

[Pennywise]

[Disclaimer: Doing this in real life may lead to death by pummeling]

And/or death by choking when you attempt to eat a living bird whole.

Heh.