[E-Mail] Ash to Jaixe

[Ash]

From: Ash<shock_n_awe@...com>
To: Jaixe

Subject: dante's abyss
Attachments:  <zone-a-fights>, <zone-b-fights>, <zone-c-fights>, <zone-d-fights>, <zone-e-fights>, <zone-x-fights>

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it's been a while, but i'll cut to the chase.

i stopped by this year's dante's abyss, mostly because it made me think of our time in camelot.. that awful place.

anyways, you seemed to be heavily interested in information about the where and what of this place, but i thought it might be worth your time to have some information on the who. luckily for us, these people are so willing to show off what they have in front an adoring audience.

pathetic.

note-to-self: send this Karl Jak a congratulations card as thanks.

i've attached the videos in case you find any of the profiles i wrote up interesting enough to want to watch them yourself. enjoy.

while this isn't all of the members of the game, they were they only of note. and even then not much to note about some of them.

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no particular order

clive, gildarts.
human, male (8/10)
mage? showed some magical tendencies.
one of the most impressive members of the game. a large portion of the other candidates avoided him like the plague - and his companion, see below - while one muscular moron, in particular, kept showing up around him. it's unclear if this other member was doing so on purpose, but at some point he also joined the ranks of 'Karl's Chippendales'. gildarts, while imposing, makes me think he isn't our type.
had an impressive fan-club in the waiting room. stupid fucking loud though.
advice: avoid until further notice.

stormrage, illidan.
elf? male (6/10)
mage? showed magic and strength.
while still impressive, not so much as his friend. (see above) plenty scary looking. not sure what his motives are, will look into it. looks like the type to kick a puppy or kill a child. (watched him impale a little girl, good stuff.)
advice: approach with caution.

hendy, vic.
supernatural, male. (10/10)
dirty fighter, good stuff.
where do i start with this one? attaching himself to another member he played THE game while playing the game. loved watching him work. okay, and get this? possible vampire drained a girl in the colosseum. was a gore-a-phile's wet dream. really enjoyed his style. kinda helped that he wrecked a cop's shit. great stuff.
action: already planning to go find this guy. keep ya posted.

rockwell, strazio.
human? male. (8/10)
dirty mouthed and covered in blood fighter.
this. guy. never. stopped. killing. people. HAWT! someone rang the dinner bell for this guy, and he came running for all the gore and violence. magneficent~!!!
advice: stay on his good side, talk to him when he's calmed down.

deadpool. (swear i've heard of this guy..)
human? male? (?/10)
guns and swords
he fucked around for most of the game.. not that he wasn't particularly fun to watch, he made me laugh. he entered the colosseum once, and then it was like no one wanted to play. can't decide if he's our cup of tea.
advice: further research.

makara, gamzee.
demon? male. (7/10)
pound clown town.
likes faygo and sunsets. maybe even long walks on the beach.
words can't describe this guy. just watch the vids. he must be high. still, kinda liked his style. especially spitting in the face of some has-been before making his escape. cheeky bastard. loved it.
action: going to see him over a bottle of faygo if i can.

enel.
"god" male. (0/10)
lightening rod.
dude. look. you can't like anyone who likes himself as much as this guy. sure he is ripped and the sparks were flying, but there wasn't anything going on in that guy's head. this 'twitter' thing is a fad-tastic way to put nonsense out into the world, and he loves the shit out of it. look him up. he tricked some innocent girl into thinking he's actually a god. idk who would come up with this guy, but if they needed an ego boost they ain't getting it from me.
advice: spit a mouthful of faygo in his face and then beat his face in.
action: no contact will be made.

malon.
elf? female
copies shit.
kind of plain.. don't remember a lot. except the vampire drained her right in front of the camera. (seriously, go watch it)
advice: n/a

redgrave, tony
'human', male (8/10)
sword and guns, and tricks up his sleeve.
another impressive character, i think i know him from somewhere. edgy as fuck looking, but he's fucking cool so. props. definitely held his own long enough for me to want to see what his thing is.
action: give him time to walk it off, then go look him up.

snow, dawn.
human? female
lots of guns, and punches things
she was impressive as well, resilient or just lucky. this girl has the ability to change hair color and eye color at will. bad ass transformation animation. got a bit of an anger problem. decked that shirtless guy pretty hard, not sure why because they just made out not the night before. whatever.
a girl at the bar had a fan-girl moment about her. apparently, her guns are impressive. (snrk)
note: hunted down a child for living instead of dying in their first fight. vengeful?
advice: research, maybe interview.

suzaku, tamsin
human, female
stuff?
didn't really hold my attention. maid outfit, pretty sure she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. got some lip action though.
advice: n/a

cell.
wtf? male? (1/10)
blasty 'spells' and green skin.
narcissistic sounds appropriate for him. randomly advertised items. ad-character? has a lisp.
action: he intrigues me, going to talk to him later.

graw[ect, ect, ect.]
idk. female?
blasty 'spells' and blue skin.
naive. dense. slow. annoyed dawn. somehow won.
action: ignore.

mar, jak. (not to be confused with the host)
elf? male. [redact] (10/10)
stuck to the sidelines as much as possible, but kicked ass in the colosseum. i recognize this guy from my shit back home, but all i can remember is he's kind of a badass. daxter's here too. oh.. you won't know who that is. anyways.
note: didn't realize how well equipped he was... (note-to-self: send a thank you to deadpool)
advice: approach with caution.

takezo, shimen.
human, male. (8/10)
swords and blood.
this guy. this fucking guy. fucking.. awesome. he lusted for blood til his dying breath. he went straight from a fight to another fight. fucking bad-ass (killed by gamzee and strazio) bad ass. just crazy enough to maybe be useful.
action: hold off, but want to talk.

hoshi, hokori. [star, dust. i googled that, its legit..]
human? male. (7/10)
claws and teeth.
...interesting.. he rummaged through some old boats for a day, kissed a lot of people, ripped out a guys throat, pushed a squid into lava, and i thought he was dead when he walked up to gildarts. dumbed his way into the group, i swear. omg, so this guy actually saved someone from taking a hit. can you fucking believe it? dumbass. kissed some more people and then went to fight vic. (fight didn't conclude.)
advice: n/a, wait for him to do something. 

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now that the business part is over, how have you been? i just g-

nevermind, i guess i have to go. might as well try to snag one of them on the way out of here.

[Jaixe Furiael]

From: Jaixe . <Heartless@...com>
To: Ash . <shock_n_awe@...com>

Subject: <Re:> dante's abyss

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Hello Ash,

It’s interesting to hear from you again after so long. I’m quite shocked actually...

I have been briefly reviewing the footage and analysis you have sent me regarding the recent participants of Dante’s Abyss, and indeed, I should like to shake Karl Jak’s hand as well for such an idea. If only it were a game for keeps, it would clear a number of the headaches out of my way.

I haven’t so much time to spend on my counter-analysis here, so I shall attempt to be brief.

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Starting from the bottom up:

Hoshi Hokori;
His brutal and reckless fighting style speaks of a touch more experience than you might imagine, though his incessant need to kiss people doesn’t seem to hold much in the way of wanton lustfulness. There likely lies another reason for such thoughtless actions. After all, who would want to kiss a being made entirely of what seems to be ink? I cannot imagine that was pleasant…

Shimen Takezo;
Be careful with letting your emotions guide your analysis, they can cloud your judgement to the point that you miss some particular details. Bloodlust is not so useful of an asset, and blind bloodlust is ever worse. To rush into battle with nothing but your sword will always get you killed and ultimately accomplishes nothing. Bear that in mind.

That being said, his skill with a blade is most impressive, and his tactical ability is what probably saves him in most battles. Outside of combat, his judgement seems far more sound and leveled. Perhaps he may be useful to contact later on.

Jak Mar;
I don’t know who this Daxter is, that much is true, but if it can transform into a large hulking beast with a sudden personality and combat style shift, perhaps you should keep your eyes on it as well as this man. They would make for some very intriguing Heartless.

Grov…?;
It doesn’t seem very many people can pronounce their name right, does it? If I had to guess, and I’m quite adept at that, they’re not naturally made either. Dare I say, her body appears to be reminiscent of a Heartless, though more solidly constructed and not shifting like a Nobody’s. She might be magic? That’s an interesting thought. She certainly doesn’t win points in the personality contest… Perhaps we should avoid this… sentient blueberry.

Cell;
Whatever this thing is, I doubt gender is relevant, and neither is it a natural organism. The strange product placement seems… forced... It certainly didn’t put much effort into it. Studying it might be in order for the future, as I would rather this strange beetle-like creature did not spring up behind me at an unfortunate time.

Tamsin Suzaku;
While to you she may seem useless as but a maid in a battlefield would be, she may yet serve another purpose for us. I would like to keep tabs on her location and actions in the near future.

Dawn Snow;
Her change in appearance may hold more secrets than we assume, but I cannot discern many differences beyond what was shown. She is capable and talented, perhaps even lucky as you noted, but her brash and headstrong nature, combined with that obsession over petty vengeance, will drag her down quickly. If it hasn’t already, that is. I advise watching, but nothing more.

Tony Redgrave;
He’s powerful, but not as powerful as this Gildarts person you noted earlier. His power also seems familiar, more dark and primordial perhaps? I would rather know more about him before approaching him. In my experience, anyone that uses darker powers are either allies or misguided, and I do not wish to deal with a misguided hero.

Malon;
Do not discount any person completely, there is always something intriguing, especially given Omni’s insistence on picking the more interesting from their respective worlds. After all, a shapeshifter can be a dangerous opponent to face…

Enel;
I cannot say his abilities are not impressive, but I can’t believe that you were not exaggerating for once. In fact, I dare say, you underestimated his ego… If he were as powerful as his pride, he would be virtually invincible.

Gamzee Makara;
I barely have a clue what is wrong with this Gamzee person. One would think he were never sober, but I don’t care enough to delve how he thinks and reasons. Still, underestimating anyone that participated in Dante’s Abyss would be a mistake.

Deadpool;
I can’t say that half the things this red-suited hero, and I use that term lightly, makes much sense. Perhaps we should just never go near him. In fact, I’d almost make a point to avoid him… I’m not particularly fond of the thought of dealing with the local insane ninja.

Strazio Rockwell;
Keep your distance from this man until you can ascertain his motives. Random gore and bloodshed is not what we need in an ally, and while his combat potential is impressive, do note that he defended Darkshire against a recent invasion. I do not doubt that he is neither ally or enemy…

Vic Hendy;
He sounds interesting indeed, and a vampire at that even, though be careful of the manipulators, they do tend to use others for their gains more frequently than not. And a vampire’s thirst is not easily quenched…

Illidan Stormrage;
A powerful mage that was outshone by his partner, but might have a strong tactical mindset. I would agree to approach him with caution at best, and avoid him at worst. I do not appreciate random killings, but I doubt his actions were ever truly random.

Gildarts Clive;
Such avoidance might be well deserved if said person is particularly powerful and respected. Even in such a free-for-all battle that he participated early in, he managed to not only survive but come out less damaged than most, against a display of impressive power no less. Caution is most definitely advised.


Overall a decent report, though you should perhaps work on proper grammar next time. I also noted that you skipped a number of the other participants.

[Ash]

From: Ash <shock_n_awe@...com>
To: Jaixe <Heartless@...com>

Subject: <Re: Re:> dante's abyss

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sorry, it took me a week to respond to this, i died.


yeah, i didn't include a good chunk of people because they didn't hold my attention the way the list of people did. the other contestants are in those files, so if you saw any of them that stood out, just send me a list and i'll update my to-do's.

i'm not here to bore you with that stuff though.


i was shot in the face by an ultramarine, death here is so invigorating~!! and the pain was so delicious...

yeah, before you write me off as insane, just listen. i have a point.

apparently, respawn takes 7 days, so if you have anything time sensitive going on i'd suggest not dying. for the most part, it was boring, so i also don't suggest it if you don't have anything to occupy your time with. and no, its not like that one idle game in the browser, no dinosaurs jumping for you while you wait. luckily for me, i had some manipulated version of my mother to keep me company. if that sounds like fond memories, it wasn't. again, let's skip the bullshit. point is i thought i'd inform you if you haven't experienced this yet.

secondly, the empire might have it out for me really soon. they warned me to stay out of coruscant, but that wouldn't be fun, would it? besides, higgs and a number of the contestants - last i checked - roam about there.



lastly, i've had the pleasure of being escorted around by jak - yes that one - this whole time. don't worry though, i've got him wrapped around my finger~! it wasn't even a challenge. he does have a friend i am working on, im sure there's something i can offer that will get me on good terms. he doesn't seem like the brightest, just has a strong sense of morality. *eye roll*

anyways, the reason im even bothering with this place is because jak said he had a secret to show me, and apparently, you feel like shit after respawning. i mean, that feels like cheap programming, but my stomach feels like its going to hurl itself out of my mouth at any point. so whatever programmers.. if it does maybe i'll send you a picture.

jak and his friend, desman btw, insisted we go to the beach. and who do you think i find there? gildarts, takezo, and dust. they had some other people, but only one worth noting. this molly girl. she claimed to be a hacker, i never got to confirm this, but it made me realize i might can utilize my cyberdeck. i'll explain that all another day. my point is:

whoever this molly girl is, she was really important to gildarts. like really important. enough to death glare anyone who jeopardized her precious little impressionable mind. (did I mention she's like fucking 10?)

oh yeah, and i got the low-down on gil straight from his own mouth. its so easy getting information out of these people its sinful!! long story short he's crazy powerful and always has been. the details are boring, but he thinks he can be a good guy. i want to shake his core so badly!! but he is still too powerful to fuck with. you should have seen what he did during story time. it was creepy and cool.

as well, takezo touched a little on existence crisis. don't know if that will be useful later but keeping our notes updated seems important.

finally, dust's behavior seemed the same. he's big, he's dumb, and he's cute. there was something about this one story that bothered him, but i'm not a phycologist so i couldn't tell you what or why.


i think that's everything. keep in touch.

don't be a grammar nazi
~Storm Demon


ps - that's a lot of talk about heartless. are you talking about the kingdom hearts stuff? like.. nobodies and keyblades? and you are saying you have a way of making heartless? hawt. let's talk about this later.