Targeted advertising

[The Emperor of Mankind]

To: WZ@Totallyamgonnagetrevenge.net and Tainted Esquivel
From: Areyouhonestlygoingtoreadthislookingforhiddedmeymeyssmh@omail.com.cr
Subject: Script for an add

Few primes/secondaries manage to be randomly selected to be advertised to so much, so we at the Pocket Pocket corporation would like YOU(s) to give feedback to our latest add. Ideally, the average citizens will be given names or be replaced with actors portraying people close to who we are advertising to. We enjoy any feedback you can give us.


COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Well, Completely average civilian #2, I made it... despite my lack of a revolutionary storage product.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Ah, Completely average civilian #1! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for a very bad and useless storage device!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Uhh...
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: [gasp] Oh egads, my useless storage device is ruined! But what if... I were to ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ instead make a unique and wonderful storage device? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho... good idea, Completely average civilian #2!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Uh-
[cue song]
INSERT SONG WHEN SONG IS MADE
[end of song]
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Completely average civilian #2!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Completely average citizen, I was just, uh... just testing out different ways to provide nothing new to the storage game. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Why are there good things coming out of your oven, Completely average civilian #2?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Uhh... no! That isn't a good thing. It's smoke. Smoke from the senzu bean thing we're having! Mmm... senzu bean thing! [beat] Ooh...
[a few moments later]
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Completely average citizen, I hope you're ready for a wonderful new product known as pocket pockets!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: I thought we were having senzu bean things.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: You call amazing, revolutionary products "senzu bean things?"
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Uhh... Coruscant?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Really? Well, I'm from Tier 4, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "Amazing New Wonder Product Known as the Pocket Pocket."
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Oh, not in Tier 4, no. It's a Tier 5 expression.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: I see. [beat] You know, this amazing wonder product ⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ is very unique.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Oh ho ho ho... yes, patented Completely average civilian #2 burgers. Old family blueprint known as a pocket pocket.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: For Pocket Pockets?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Yes.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Yeah, so you call them "Pocket Pockets" ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Yes, excuse me for one second.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Of course.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: More pocket pockets?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Uh- ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ more pocket pockets?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: Yes!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: May I see it?
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: No.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2'S MOTHER: Completely average civilian #2, the ATMs are on fire!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2: No, mother—it's just a lot of people!
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #1: Well, Completely average civilian #2, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you make a good product.
COMPLETELY AVERAGE CIVILIAN #2'S MOTHER: Ok.

[Jack Darby]

To say the Chaos Bringer who was in charge of Rafael was not amused about the spam message that they had received was the understatement of the year. The more Unicron meditated on each of the spam messages and surveyed them, the more irritated he became. Not even the Primes, children of his brother would dare waste his time on something trivial such as this. Rafael likewise was irritated because of the waste of time it became, and for once he could agree with Unicron on something. 

What they had agreed upon was that the entire website of the Pocket Pocket company was going to go down in flames. Rafael then posted a simple message on the website of "Pocket Pocket" corporation. 

"LEAVE ME ALONE"  - Tainted Esquivel. 

Hopefully they would take the hint before he had to resort to more draconic measures.

[The Emperor of Mankind]

To:Tainted Esquivel
From: Areyouhonestlygoingtoreadthislookingforhiddedmeymeyssmh@omail.com.cr
Subject: Re: Script for an add
No