Winter Schnee *fixed again again

[Vin Venture]

Character name: Winter Schnee

Character source: RWBY

Character history:
-Last pages from Winter’s Journal, found in a hotel room in the city where she was assumed to have been killed by a Faunus ambush.
I am the older sister of one “Weiss Schnee” of Beacon Academy. My sister was an honour student, and part of a promising team of Huntresses. It was clear they were on their way to becoming quite a reputable group with her as their more than able lancer. Or at least she was until her team leader went missing, she hardly said anything about it, and then disappeared shortly after. This is unacceptable behaviour in our family, and I will find her.

Questioning her friends at beacon was a good place to start, they tell me she went after her leader even after everyone else had given up. It’s going to be enough trouble staying on her trail with next to no leads, but it will be my responsibility if any harm comes to her, and I will not allow that.
…
It has been a full month since I started searching for her, however, I am certain that the Faunus I met earlier knows something, I’ll just have to get it out of him.
…
He’s told me a woman with a scar over her eye and white hair came through here within the last couple of days. I know it’s Weiss but he’s not telling me where she went, I’ll have to do a more thorough search in the morning.

Winter stalked through the streets, this wasn’t the time for eloquence, her sister was missing. A small group of faunus was leering at her from the curb as she crossed the road to the place where she was told Weiss had been. Immediately, the damage to the area was visible, there must have been a fight here, and it must have been using extensive amounts of dust. Several faunus seemed to be following Winter, she drew her sword just as her vision was shrouded by something. Darkness enveloped her, and she was gone.

Stats:
ATK: 1
DEF: 3
SPD: 3
TEC: 3

Starting Proficiencies:
Physical Strength – 1000 OM
Burst Movement – 800 OM
Buff Proficiency – 400 OM

Starting Powers:
Master Acrobat – 400 OM
Enhanced Senses Basic – 1400 OM

Starting Moves:
-Short Sword - 300 OM
Very fast sword, only 50cm long, enchanted so as not to break easily. Made of solid ice and kept solid by its scabbard.
Sword Flurry - 300 OM
If the opponent is at very close range (within 1m), Winter strikes 3 times with her shortsword within 1 second.

I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct.

[Minato Namikaze]

Hello, Welcome to the Omniverse ! But first things first;

Your History must state how and when they are brought to the Omniverse, even if you have to make it up and fit it in with the current history.

Your moves need more description, although I can see Short Sword being fine as is. With your decision to take the Homing prof, I'm a little confused. It's used for attacks that home in on an enemy, but I don't see that in any of your moves. I think you're using it for when Winter 'homes' in on an opponent? if so, you don't need homing for that, just burst movement would be required for that.

If you need help describing moves, just take a look at some other Join Apps.

[Vin Venture]

I've fixed my backstory to include a small 'post-form' bit after the journal showing how she was taken away from her verse.

I've tried to keep my moves pretty simple and basic, they're not particularly flashy or fancy. I had taken Homing Proficiency for future use but I have replaced it with Burst Movement, and removed Frozen Blade Strike leaving me with 100 OM.

[Minato Namikaze]

Sorry for the long wait.

Your move , Short Sword, doesn't need to be 600 OM. It's just a sword, so it only costs 300.

Also, Do you really want to purchase all of those powers/ Proficiencies in the beginning? You don't have to right now, and you can wait if you want.

Also, I just wanted to make it clear that, in my earlier reply, I didn't mean that Burst Movement was required to close the gap between an enemy and yourself, I just meant that it helps in doing so. Also, RWBY characters have a tendency for dashing about the place, so I thought it'd be a little more helpful than Homing.

[Vin Venture]

bump

[Minato Namikaze]

Approved, I will get you set up shortly.

[Minato Namikaze]

Name: Winter Schnee
Level: 1
Spent OM: 4600
Proficiencies: (1400); Physical Strength (1000), Buff Proficiency (400)
Powers: (2600); Burst Movement (800), Master Acrobat (400), Enhanced Senses - Basic (1400)
Moves: (600); Short Sword (300), Sword flurry (300)
Super Moves:
Transformations:
Assists:
Items:
Bases:
Unlocks:
Base stats:
ATK: 1
DEF: 3
SPD: 3
TEC: 3

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