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Raal Deathwind
#1
Character name: Raal Deathwind

Character source: Warcraft (original character)

Character history:


Raal Deathwind was born an orc of the Bleeding Hollow clan, shortly before the culling of the Draenei. He, as well as his twin brother, Zau deathwind, were infamous from a young age. While Zau was known more for his violent, uncontrolled temper, and overflowing brute strength, something their clan tried and failed to soften, Raal was known for the unnatural intelligence he'd shown at a young age - often directly or indirectly directing his brother’s strength to further his own designs. As both of their parents died on their sixth birthday (Some suspected it was due to the brothers themselves, though this was incorrect) from suddenly contracted diseases.

The two were known as thieves and troublemakers from a young age, and were watched closely. They likely would have been forced to either grow up or go into exile, were it not for the war with the Draenei that started soon afterwards.

Zau and Raal were both unnaturally aged by warlock magics. Unlike his brother, who grew to be one of the largest orcs in recorded history, Raal's physical form was frail for an orc, his physique more similar to a human, and most orcs joked that he would likely not survive long in the fray. These jests turned out to be unfounded, however, as Raal survived and thrived on the frontlines, showing an instinctive grasp of tactics in the early battles against the Draenei, tactics aided by his brother's willing ear and peerless strength.

Raal's talent for fel magic was discovered shortly after the first warlocks were discovered and trained, making him one of the few warlocks of the era that was originally a warrior, instead of a shaman. He showed talent, but was never considered by Gul'dan to be intelligent or powerful enough to merit a spot on the Shadow Council, though he was watched for possible selection.

Raal, not content with his status as a warlock, and realizing his intelligence could be of greater use, approached Blackhand himself with the offer of creating a highly-skilled group of warriors within the Horde. He snuck into the throneroom itself to make this request. Blackhand, impressed by the Warlock's skills and cunning, granted him this favor, allowing Raal to create a small, elite force within the Horde to work directly on Blackhand's (or, when he was indisposed, his second, Orgrim Doomhammer's) orders. Raal led his elite force, which consisted of orcs, trolls, and ogres, and also included his brother Zau.

Unfortunately, despite not even being a part of the Shadow Council, Raal nonetheless met his own fall as orchestrated by Gul'dan. As his group fought and clashed against the army of Azeroth and their own elite forces, and as the horde marched upon Stormwind Keep, Zau was enticed with offers from Gul'dan. The two brothers were never especially warm to each other, as could be expected from such malicious beings, and Gul'dan promised riches, power, and respect, things Raal was careful only to sparingly ration out to his brother.

During the siege of Stormwind Keep, and after working together to fight through the most deadly opponents Stormwind could gather to oppose them, Raal's group had shrunk to merely himself and his brother. Zau took the opportunity; Raal's own overconfidence allowed Zau to catch him entirely by surprise, with Raal meeting his end due to an axe buried itself deeply in his chest. Zau's blow was not fatal, however, and mustering up every bit of magic he had left, Raal channeled his remaining energy and struck Zau with enough force to rip his body in two. Thus, both Raal and his brother died at the same time, using what breath they had to curse the other before fading from existence.

Raal, however, would find himself on the mortal plane once more, resurrected as a death knight. While he was not a member of the Shadow Council, Gul'dan had deemed Raal's magic just sufficient to merit resurrection as a death knight of the Horde. He was one of many orcish warlocks resurrected using the power and life of an orcish necrolyte and the body of one of the human knights of Azeroth. While Raal missed his original body, the power he'd gained through the ghastly transformation comforted him. He quickly returned to service, fighting in several battles during the second war, but his experience with his brother caused him to work alone for the most part during the second war. He instead relied on a retainer of undead servants to reinforce him in battle.

Raal's powers were insufficient to turn the tide of the second war, and despite creating a pile of bodies taller than his head and turning the tide of several seperate battlefronts, Gul'dan's treachery cost the orcs the Battle of Blackrock Spire. Raal was among the orcs who retreated to the dark portal, and was actually one of the first to enter it as the defenses began to falter.

When later, the call to arms first came from Nerz'hul, Raal did not initially answer the call to arms. He was weary from a history of battle, and was beginning to grow convinced the humans were simply too powerful a foe to fight. Still, he was a member of the Bleeding Hollow clan, and was furthermore one of their last death knights. Raal wasn't yet suicidal enough to ignore an order from his chieftain. As a result, Raal found himself fighting, again, as the humans attacked Draenor itself. The Horde kept losing ground, and as the Alliance made their last stand to protect the dark portal while Draenor shook itself apart, Raal was among those desperate orcs trying to push through the human lines into Azeroth. Desperation crossed Raal's undead features as the portal closed. His last thoughts as Draenor shattered, and as he stared certain death, were of how futile his entire life's purpose was.

All he wished for, at that point, was some chance to make his life mean something, to be more than a cog in some force's larger machine. What he wished the most for was to attain greater heights than a decaying soldier in a losing battle over a doomed planet...

Perhaps Omni’s game will grant Raal his wish…

Physical Description:
Raal does not look very different from most death knights of the Horde, an undead creature with red eyes and a cloak obscuring much of his features:
[Image: latest?cb=20080802115834]

Stats:
ATK: 4
DEF: 1
SPD: 2
TEC: 3

Starting Proficiencies:
Ranged Proficiency - 1000 OM
Area Attack Proficiency - 600 OM
Remote control Proficiency - 600 OM

Starting Powers:




Starting Moves:


Touch of Darkness - 300 OM (Ranged Proficiency Required)

Raal channels his own undead energies through his jeweled truncheon and releases them outwards in a blast of destructive dark energy. These blasts can be shot out at roughly a rate of one per second, and are a fiery sphere of black energy around the size of a baseball that drains the life force of opponents it hits, striking at their vitality directly. While not leaving a mark on the skin, the Touch of Darkness causes pain and injury in the area it strikes, just as harmful as any spear or flame.

Raise Dead - 1500 OM (Remote Control Proficiency Required)

The legacy of the orcish necrolytes, and a favorite of Raal's, this skill has changed to reflect Omni's own whims and no longer requires a corpse. Raal may use this spell to summon a weak undead warrior near him. These creatures are weak and lack any true combat skill, but are controlled remotely by Raal and can be deceptively dangerous, capable of slowing down enemies and performing an unliving shield against anyone attempting to get close to Raal. They are capable of using basic weaponry, such as swords and bows, but do so with all the grace of an untrained peasant, and about the same level of physical strength to boot.
Compared to a prime, the average undead is very weak, with a prime being more than capable of destroying any undead with a single casual strike, and due to their weakened muscles, they're incapable of doing any serious damage to primes without repeated clean blows.
any undead using a bow is limited to merely thirty feet of range due to their physicality.

The undead take roughly twenty seconds to fully summon, which takes the majority of Raal's concentration. He can direct his other undead during this time but must stay rooted in one place, palm facing the ground, and cannot move, cast spells, or make any use of his enhanced senses until he is finished. Attempting to do any of these for a split second will stop his spellcasting and cause him to lose the energy he was using to summon the undead. Being physically struck will also cause his
spellcasting to fail, regardless of if he was moved or distracted by it.

The undead are a moderate drain on Raal to summon, each one requiring a significant amount of his energy to initially summon, though none to maintain.

At maximum, Raal can summon ten undead at once. If he attempts to summon more than that, one of the undead he is currently controlling will simply shatter into dust, before it's remnants fade away.

Death Coil (Tier 1 super move) (Ranged Proficiency Required) (area attack proficiency required) 600 OM
A much stronger version of the Touch of Darkness and one of the main reasons death knights are so feared, a spiral of bright green energy encircles Raal's jeweled Truncheon, charging for three to five seconds, before being released at an enemy target. A similarly colored bolt of energy is launched and which causes severe damage to the life force of anything within 10 feet of the blast radius. The attack itself is quite fast and it is difficult to interrupt the charge-up time, but it is somewhat weaker than the average super move of its level.

(should have 100 Omnilium left)
I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct.
#2
Hello death-friend. Welcome to the RPG, the internet's best Omniverse. What's that? You need move approvals?

Quote:Touch of Darkness - 300 OM (Ranged Proficiency Required)

Raal channels his own undead energies through his jeweled truncheon and releases them outwards in a blast of destructive dark energy. These blasts can be shot out at roughly a rate of one per second, and are a fiery sphere of black energy around the size of a baseball that drains the life force of opponents it hits, striking at their vitality directly. While not leaving a mark on the skin, the Touch of Darkness causes pain and injury in the area it strikes, just as harmful as any spear or flame.
Approved at 300.

Just as a side note, if you ever want to use that truncheon as a melee weapon in its own right, you would want to purchase a move for it.


Quote:Raise Dead - 900 OM (Remote Control Proficiency Required)

The legacy of the orcish necrolytes, and a favorite of Raal's, this skill has changed to reflect Omni's own whims and no longer requires a corpse. Raal may use this spell to summon a weak undead warrior near him. These creatures are weak and lack any true combat skill, but are controlled remotely by Raal and can be deceptively dangerous, capable of slowing down enemies and performing an unliving shield against anyone attempting to get close to Raal. They are capable of using basic weaponry, such as swords and bows, but do so with all the grace of an untrained peasant, and about the same level of physical strength to boot.
How many undead can he control at once? How long do they take to summon? Is there a duration and in which case how long? Does it cost energy to summon and/or maintain the undead ally? How does he command the undead and does that take any focus? If you could break down what you see as the "uses" of this move, that would help me price it and make sure 900 is correct. I see attacking with sword, attacking with bow, and simply getting in the way of attacks to shield Raal (though that one is a bit unclear - "performing an unliving shield" doesn't make grammatical sense so it would be good to clear that one up).
Quote:Death Coil (Tier 1 super move) (Ranged Proficiency Required) (area attack proficiency required) 600 OM
A much stronger version of the Touch of Darkness and one of the main reasons death knights are so feared, a spiral of bright green energy encircles Raal's jeweled Truncheon, charging for three to five seconds, before being released at an enemy target. A similarly colored bolt of energy is launched and which causes severe damage to the life force of anything within 10 feet of the blast radius. The attack itself is quite fast and it is difficult to interrupt the charge-up time, but it is somewhat weaker than the average super move of its level.
Approved.
Curious about me and the characters I play? See the 'Staff' page! See also the rosters for my characters Samus Aran or Enel if you'd like to see examples of well-formatted rosters. Hope you enjoy the Omniverse!
#3
You're good to role-play if you want to get started, just don't use Raise Dead until you get it approved. Once that's done we'll get your roster and purchase log up. Also make sure you read this topic thoroughly before getting started. Thanks for joining, hope you have fun. Smile
Curious about me and the characters I play? See the 'Staff' page! See also the rosters for my characters Samus Aran or Enel if you'd like to see examples of well-formatted rosters. Hope you enjoy the Omniverse!
#4
Omni Wrote:Hello death-friend. Welcome to the RPG, the internet's best Omniverse. What's that? You need move approvals?

Quote:Just as a side note, if you ever want to use that truncheon as a melee weapon in its own right, you would want to purchase a move for it.
Was thinking of it, but frankly I'm not convinced that wouldn't result in it breaking. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to properly implement the truncheon as a move.

Quote:How many undead can he control at once? How long do they take to summon? Is there a duration and in which case how long? Does it cost energy to summon and/or maintain the undead ally? How does he command the undead and does that take any focus? If you could break down what you see as the "uses" of this move, that would help me price it and make sure 900 is correct. I see attacking with sword, attacking with bow, and simply getting in the way of attacks to shield Raal (though that one is a bit unclear - "performing an unliving shield" doesn't make grammatical sense so it would be good to clear that one up).

when it comes to numbers, I'd actually wish to defer to you on that one, as I wasn't completely clear on how the undead could be used. if you could name a number you'd deem appropriate, I'd have no problems agreeing with whatever you deemed, though 5-10 was generally what I was expecting to be able to use.

The undead would be able to last for a long duration, so it's definitely not a limiting factor on their part.
The undead wouldn't take much energy to keep alive, but would take a moderate amount to summon each one. As a result while he could probably build a reasonable retainer of them, actually replacing them in the middle of combat would be more difficult. He would probably have to spend a turn focusing to raise each one.
He commands the undead via his remote control ability, as they're essentially magic forced into a corpse and bound to his will. As a result, they do require mental focus for more than the simplest of tasks, such as operating simple machines and etc.
the "unliving shield" part was merely clever(or so I'd like to think) wordplay, I merely meant that they were capable of taking hits in Raal's place and standing between him and his foe.
#5
Quote:Was thinking of it, but frankly I'm not convinced that wouldn't result in it breaking. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to properly implement the truncheon as a move.
Omniphysics means your wooden truncheon is just as durable as that metal sword, because it's a prime's weapon. It's just shorter range (but assumedly thus stronger than a similar long-range weapon because balance). Thus you can beat people to death with your wooden truncheon. If you feel so inclined to be very un-warlockey.

Otherwise if you only intend to use it as a conduit for your spells, don't worry about purchasing it as a move.

Quote:when it comes to numbers, I'd actually wish to defer to you on that one, as I wasn't completely clear on how the undead could be used. if you could name a number you'd deem appropriate, I'd have no problems agreeing with whatever you deemed, though 5-10 was generally what I was expecting to be able to use.

The undead would be able to last for a long duration, so it's definitely not a limiting factor on their part.
The undead wouldn't take much energy to keep alive, but would take a moderate amount to summon each one. As a result while he could probably build a reasonable retainer of them, actually replacing them in the middle of combat would be more difficult. He would probably have to spend a turn focusing to raise each one.
He commands the undead via his remote control ability, as they're essentially magic forced into a corpse and bound to his will. As a result, they do require mental focus for more than the simplest of tasks, such as operating simple machines and etc.
the "unliving shield" part was merely clever(or so I'd like to think) wordplay, I merely meant that they were capable of taking hits in Raal's place and standing between him and his foe.
Well having 5-10 undead would make it a strong move so you would need significant downsides. If he can summon more than one undead at once as well by putting in more energy or whatever that would add 300 to the cost because it's more variable.

As you have it currently, here's how I would price the move.

300-summoning an undead that can be remotely controlled for basic stuff such as grabbing, moving, essentially a physical manifestation of his remote control.
+300 for summoning multiple or controlling multiple simultaneously.
+300 for biting/scratching attacks
+300 for using swords
+300 for using bows

You would, however, need to severely limit the strength of the undead or make the downsides more severe (than it currently states in the description, at least) in order to have it how you want. Definitely include the part about requiring mental focus to make them do what you want, very especially if it's more than one. I think simply having a moderate amount of time/energy to summon each one should be fine, since I would think that one severe downside is that this singularly strong attack from a prime could probably disable a single zombie, making it pretty easily foiled dependent on how you word this. I guess it depends on how strong/weak they are. If you can add more detail to the description then we can fine-tune this as needed.
Curious about me and the characters I play? See the 'Staff' page! See also the rosters for my characters Samus Aran or Enel if you'd like to see examples of well-formatted rosters. Hope you enjoy the Omniverse!
#6
Omni Wrote:
Quote:Was thinking of it, but frankly I'm not convinced that wouldn't result in it breaking. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to properly implement the truncheon as a move.
Omniphysics means your wooden truncheon is just as durable as that metal sword, because it's a prime's weapon. It's just shorter range (but assumedly thus stronger than a similar long-range weapon because balance). Thus you can beat people to death with your wooden truncheon. If you feel so inclined to be very un-warlockey.
Ahh, I was unaware such was true even for things that were fragile in their original 'verse.
Fair enough, though. I might add that as a move here, then.

Quote:when it comes to numbers, I'd actually wish to defer to you on that one, as I wasn't completely clear on how the undead could be used. if you could name a number you'd deem appropriate, I'd have no problems agreeing with whatever you deemed, though 5-10 was generally what I was expecting to be able to use.

Quote:Well having 5-10 undead would make it a strong move so you would need significant downsides. If he can summon more than one undead at once as well by putting in more energy or whatever that would add 300 to the cost because it's more variable.
He can't summon more than one at a time. this is one of the main limiting factors of the move is the fact that they cannot quickly replenish and thus their value goes down drastically if he loses many at once
(additionally, because summoning multiple at once had some fairly cheap applications that would have made the move a little ridiculous)

As you have it currently, here's how I would price the move.

300-summoning an undead that can be remotely controlled for basic stuff such as grabbing, moving, essentially a physical manifestation of his remote control.
+300 for summoning multiple or controlling multiple simultaneously.
+300 for using swords
+300 for using bows

1500 is more than fair.
Quote:You would, however, need to severely limit the strength of the undead or make the downsides more severe (than it currently states in the description, at least) in order to have it how you want. Definitely include the part about requiring mental focus to make them do what you want, very especially if it's more than one. I think simply having a moderate amount of time/energy to summon each one should be fine, since I would think that one severe downside is that this singularly strong attack from a prime could probably disable a single zombie, making it pretty easily foiled dependent on how you word this. I guess it depends on how strong/weak they are. If you can add more detail to the description then we can fine-tune this as needed.
Well, I was expecting them to be fairly weak. A straight 0 in stats would generally be how I'd expect them to be, with even a regular weapon-based attack being able to destroy one or even several, and anyone with physical proficiency having a very low chance on taking a single hit from them while slaughtering them in return. They're more meant to be a useful distraction while Raal attempts to use a more effective attack, since he's quite fragile.
edited appropriately.
#7
Quote:Raise Dead - 1500 OM (Remote Control Proficiency Required)

The legacy of the orcish necrolytes, and a favorite of Raal's, this skill has changed to reflect Omni's own whims and no longer requires a corpse. Raal may use this spell to summon a weak undead warrior near him. These creatures are weak and lack any true combat skill, but are controlled remotely by Raal and can be deceptively dangerous, capable of slowing down enemies and performing an unliving shield against anyone attempting to get close to Raal. They are capable of using basic weaponry, such as swords and bows, but do so with all the grace of an untrained peasant, and about the same level of physical strength to boot.
Compared to a prime, the average undead is very weak, with a prime being more than capable of destroying any undead with a single casual strike, and due to their weakened muscles, they're incapable of doing any serious damage to primes without repeated clean blows.
Any undead using a bow is limited to merely thirty feet of range due to their physicality.
Still need a summoning time/energy drain/mention of how many he can summon.
Curious about me and the characters I play? See the 'Staff' page! See also the rosters for my characters Samus Aran or Enel if you'd like to see examples of well-formatted rosters. Hope you enjoy the Omniverse!
#8
Omni Wrote:
Quote:Raise Dead - 1500 OM (Remote Control Proficiency Required)

The legacy of the orcish necrolytes, and a favorite of Raal's, this skill has changed to reflect Omni's own whims and no longer requires a corpse. Raal may use this spell to summon a weak undead warrior near him. These creatures are weak and lack any true combat skill, but are controlled remotely by Raal and can be deceptively dangerous, capable of slowing down enemies and performing an unliving shield against anyone attempting to get close to Raal. They are capable of using basic weaponry, such as swords and bows, but do so with all the grace of an untrained peasant, and about the same level of physical strength to boot.
Compared to a prime, the average undead is very weak, with a prime being more than capable of destroying any undead with a single casual strike, and due to their weakened muscles, they're incapable of doing any serious damage to primes without repeated clean blows.
Any undead using a bow is limited to merely thirty feet of range due to their physicality.
Still need a summoning time/energy drain/mention of how many he can summon.
edited accordingly.
#9
Raal Deathwind Wrote:Raise Dead - 1200 OM (Remote Control Proficiency Required)

The legacy of the orcish necrolytes, and a favorite of Raal's, this skill has changed to reflect Omni's own whims and no longer requires a corpse. Raal may use this spell to summon a weak undead warrior near him. These creatures are weak and lack any true combat skill, but are controlled remotely by Raal and can be deceptively dangerous, capable of slowing down enemies and performing an unliving shield against anyone attempting to get close to Raal. They are capable of using basic weaponry, such as swords and bows, but do so with all the grace of an untrained peasant, and about the same level of physical strength to boot.

Compared to a prime, the average undead is very weak, with a prime being more than capable of destroying any undead with a single casual strike, and due to their weakened muscles, they're incapable of doing any serious damage to primes without repeated clean blows. Any undead using a bow is limited to merely thirty feet of range due to their physicality.

The undead take roughly five seconds to fully summon, which takes the majority of Raal's concentration. He can direct his other undead during this time but must stay rooted in one place, palm facing the ground, and cannot move, cast spells, or make any use of his enhanced senses until he is finished. Attempting to do any of these for a split second will stop his spellcasting and cause him to lose the energy he was using to summon the undead. Being physically struck will also cause his spellcasting to fail, regardless of if he was moved or distracted by it.

The undead are a small drain on Raal to summon, each one requiring a small amount of his energy to initially summon, though none to maintain. Actually controlling the undead requires a degree of concentration; as he must control them manually, it makes it more difficult to move, aim or generally focus on other attacks. This effect is more pronounced as he summons more undead; directing ten undead requires his entire concentration, leaving him unable to move or do almost anything else.

At maximum, Raal can summon ten undead at once. If he attempts to summon more than that, one of the undead he is currently controlling will simply shatter into dust, before it's remnants fade away.
Since you didn't include the scratching/biting (I guess they'll be using swords exclusively in their melee), I knocked 300 off the price. If you want them to have that functionality you can add it to the description.

I added some detail on how he controls them and reduced the severity of some of the downsides as I think they were a bit overkill. You can edit that a bit if you want to shift the downsides around but since they are a remote-control power he does need to actually use his own focus to direct them. If you wanted them to become more independent you would need to make them an assist (or homing if you only wanted to make them automatons that attack an enemy and nothing else).

Let me know if that's all okay or edit accordingly and we'll get you set up.
Curious about me and the characters I play? See the 'Staff' page! See also the rosters for my characters Samus Aran or Enel if you'd like to see examples of well-formatted rosters. Hope you enjoy the Omniverse!
#10
it's more than fine in it's current form. I've no objections to the changes.
#11
Here's your roster! Welcome officially. Don't forget to include your move descriptions somewhere in your profile.

Name: Raal Deathwind
Level: 1
Spent OM: 4300
Proficiencies (2200); Ranged Proficiency (1000), Area Attack Proficiency (600), Remote control Proficiency (600)
Powers:
Moves (1500); Touch of Darkness (300), Raise Dead (1200),
Super Moves (600); Death Coil - Tier 1 Super Attack (600)
Transformations:
Assists:
Items:
Bases:
Unlocks:
Base stats:
ATK: 4
DEF: 1
SPD: 2
TEC: 3
Curious about me and the characters I play? See the 'Staff' page! See also the rosters for my characters Samus Aran or Enel if you'd like to see examples of well-formatted rosters. Hope you enjoy the Omniverse!


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