CIVIL UNREST - C&C

[MADBULL34]

Hello everyone!

I hope you're enjoying the latest chapter in Mad Bull's madcap adventures - CIVIL UNREST.

I was looking to collect your constructive criticism on the writing and story. I've tried a few things in particular I'm looking for feedback on:

1. One item that will likely stand out to many is the use of a foreign language. My intent was to create more immersion in this barrio-style setting, while also using language as a means of drawing a line between the police and the public (and reflecting that in some ways Reyes and Estes are a part of both). Does it work? Is it more irritating than its worth? Do you prefer to scan back to the glossary after each phrase, or wait till the end of each chapter and see the translations?
   
2. The digestability of each chapter is something I'm also playing with. On one hand, longer chapters feel like a more complete stand-alone read, but on the other hand breaking them up into smaller 600 word chunks seems to be easier for people to stay focused on. What's your preference? Long walls of text or a few paragraphs at a time?
   
3. Its my hope that you've gathered from subtext that Mad Bull's author has very different views on police brutality than his subject. Writing stories for this character is a intended as social-commentary through the satire of hyper-violence.  Does that come through to little or to much?
   

Any additional comments are appreciated.