08-05-2017, 04:52 PM
Luci was the first to get the news.
***
Shadowkill, President of the Westside Deathblades and the big brother of Princess Hellstab, was the second.
It was he who had demanded that Luci issue a 100 OM bounty on any Imperial Prime, in exchange for the Deathblades remaining with the Westside.
And it was he who sent the glowing red graffiti message that magically appeared on walls all over Coruscant.
RIP, Her Royal Highness, Princess Hellstab
***
At the Hufflepunk Hideout, a debate is taking place.
Punk rock Hogwarts alumni scream and curse at each other, wands are drawn, multicolored sparks pop menacingly in the air.
Weasel, the brash young President of the Westside Hufflepunks, emits a loud bang from the tip of her wand.
The rabble simmer as Weasel glares around the room, her red mohawk shaking.
“This is not a problem,” she says slowly, in her raspy voice. The Hufflepunks explode with complaints, and Weasel lets off another bang.
“THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM!” she screams, her eyes snaking around the room.
“A hundred OM bounty on any Imperial Prime?” a brave little Hufflepunk with green hair pipes up. “We’ll have Stormtroopers on every corner. You don’t think that’s gonna affect business?”
The gangs starts to murmur. Weasel shakes her head, her face piercings clinking.
“No, it’s not,” she explains patiently in anachronistically American accent. “Because we have a business model. And that business model no longer includes selling drugs on street corners.”
***
At the Westside Knife Ear Warriors treehouse in Central Park, the elf gang is somehow even louder.
Listening patiently to their concerns is Luci’s First Lieutenant, a beautiful blonde elf girl named Sunshine.
Listening less patiently and actually starting to growl is Luci’s Second Lieutenant, a deadly night elf name Bloodstain.
“We’re supposed to be killing orcs,” yells a young elf angrily. “How are we supposed to do that with the Empire breathing down our necks?”
Sunshine nods understandingly. When she speaks, it is quietly, and the rowdy gangsters hush to listen more closely. “As we have always done, carefully and intelligently, and with allies like the Deathblades.”
***
Kolgoth the Mighty, President of the Mighty Westside Klingons and dedicated father, is teaching a tai-chi class in his dojo. In front of him, following his slow calculated movements, are the Mighty Westside Klingons.
It is Kilgrot the Mighty, Kolgoth’s moody teenage son, who breaks the news to his father.
The Mighty Westside Klingons observe a moment of silence.
Kolgoth cancels all tai-chi classes and replaces them with weapons training.
***
Chirpa the Ewok cries softly in his garage.
***
***
Shadowkill, President of the Westside Deathblades and the big brother of Princess Hellstab, was the second.
It was he who had demanded that Luci issue a 100 OM bounty on any Imperial Prime, in exchange for the Deathblades remaining with the Westside.
And it was he who sent the glowing red graffiti message that magically appeared on walls all over Coruscant.
RIP, Her Royal Highness, Princess Hellstab
***
At the Hufflepunk Hideout, a debate is taking place.
Punk rock Hogwarts alumni scream and curse at each other, wands are drawn, multicolored sparks pop menacingly in the air.
Weasel, the brash young President of the Westside Hufflepunks, emits a loud bang from the tip of her wand.
The rabble simmer as Weasel glares around the room, her red mohawk shaking.
“This is not a problem,” she says slowly, in her raspy voice. The Hufflepunks explode with complaints, and Weasel lets off another bang.
“THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM!” she screams, her eyes snaking around the room.
“A hundred OM bounty on any Imperial Prime?” a brave little Hufflepunk with green hair pipes up. “We’ll have Stormtroopers on every corner. You don’t think that’s gonna affect business?”
The gangs starts to murmur. Weasel shakes her head, her face piercings clinking.
“No, it’s not,” she explains patiently in anachronistically American accent. “Because we have a business model. And that business model no longer includes selling drugs on street corners.”
***
At the Westside Knife Ear Warriors treehouse in Central Park, the elf gang is somehow even louder.
Listening patiently to their concerns is Luci’s First Lieutenant, a beautiful blonde elf girl named Sunshine.
Listening less patiently and actually starting to growl is Luci’s Second Lieutenant, a deadly night elf name Bloodstain.
“We’re supposed to be killing orcs,” yells a young elf angrily. “How are we supposed to do that with the Empire breathing down our necks?”
Sunshine nods understandingly. When she speaks, it is quietly, and the rowdy gangsters hush to listen more closely. “As we have always done, carefully and intelligently, and with allies like the Deathblades.”
***
Kolgoth the Mighty, President of the Mighty Westside Klingons and dedicated father, is teaching a tai-chi class in his dojo. In front of him, following his slow calculated movements, are the Mighty Westside Klingons.
It is Kilgrot the Mighty, Kolgoth’s moody teenage son, who breaks the news to his father.
The Mighty Westside Klingons observe a moment of silence.
Kolgoth cancels all tai-chi classes and replaces them with weapons training.
***
Chirpa the Ewok cries softly in his garage.
***