Joining: Shū En’Asena

[Shu]

Character name:
Shū En’Asena

Character source:
Original

Character history:
Shū En’Asena hails from a world known as Bastian, his homeland being that of Aurora Basin. This world only knew a constant winter and the rarest of springs and summers, the ever extending white of snow was something his people had accepted as their reality. The civilization consisted of many tribes with a culture groomed on superstition and survival. Hunting and gathering are essential and learning necessary survival skills at an early age is required of the youth if they hope to see the season’s end.  Shū’s tribe was that of the Wolf Tribe, known as the Enirah, and they were far more removed from the other tribes.

They dealt closely with the supernatural and Shū was no exception, an outcast who could speak with the dead. He had dreams and aspirations of being a hunter though his fear of lightning and thunder earned him ridicule. Nightmares of being devoured by a creature of electricity did little to soothe him and it wasn’t till an entourage from another clan arrived that he was deemed to follow the path of a shaman.

He rejected the notion at first yet came around to the idea after the guidance of the woman leading the troupe, Shina. She led him through an ancient world of dreams, Yūran, hoping to entice him further and put him on a path of becoming a shaman. Disaster struck during one session as the creature from his nightmares manifested and proceeded to attack them both, trapping Shū in the dream world.

Here he met many supernatural beings before finally being awoken from a coma. After waking he found himself in control of powerful electrical abilities much to the disbelief of his tribe. Seeing this as an opportunity, his Chieftain entered him into the Grand Hunt against the wishes of the shamans. Shū had been reborn as an Aether, a chosen of the gods, and to use him in the Grand Hunt was considered ill willed.

The hunt started with traditional ceremony, that year’s hunt was for a Waheela, a wolf-bear hybrid. During the hunt he met a man named Caecus. A fellow Aether, he took Shū under his wing to help train him in his newfound abilities. The hunt ended in tragedy, however, as a great Wyrm was awoken and took the lives of many of Aurora Basin’s greatest hunters. Shū wasn’t the one to strike the final blow but his assistance was paramount.

This defeat of the mighty beast led to a discovery of a growing threat. The Ekinder were an infectious race of humanoids, spawned from the remains of the dead and they were the ones that had woke the sleeping Wyrm. Many more hunters fell to eradicate the sudden menace to their lands but eventually a peace settled over the Basin.

Shū proceeded to continue his shaman training, having regretted not learning the skills necessary to combat such evil. Years passed by and Shū had become a renowned shaman. Corruption had steadily crept over the land and it seemed for a long while Shū was the only one capable of stemming the tide. Sadly, it was a battle he couldn’t have won.

For years Caecus had been manipulating him and his people. War broke out, the Ekinder resurfaced. Caecus was revealed to be one of the most sinister beings in their historical records; a Wendigo. He had orchestrated the rise of the Ekinder, the war between the tribes, and had been preparing Shū to become a gateway for the powerful being that had been locked away inside his dreams. Raka, the bastard god of lightning and shadow. This scheme cost the lives of several of his closest friends and family, including his lover and child.

Calling on aide from the supernatural he had befriended or had earned favors from, it wasn’t until the intervention of the gods that they were able to bring down the sinister wendigo and all he had wrought. Raka was left trapped in his prison and despite the heartache he suffered, Shū was prepared to help his people rebuild. Yet life was never that simple for the shaman and his pleas to his gods were answered by silence.

Metal craft flew down from over the great mountains, laying waste to the last of their civilization. This anguish caused Shū to lash out with the full force of his powers, ripping the tin soldiers and their metal aircrafts apart. He was captured and placed in a metal container, visions of wires and sharp knifes accompanied his captivity before all he knew was darkness and the comfort of a screaming god of lightning to plague his eternal rest. It wasn’t till he was brought forth to another dimension entirely that he was finally able to open his eyes. And what he saw was a creeping smile and a bright light that introduced him to the Omniverse.

Physical Description:
Shū stands at five-foot-ten and was considered a runt among his people. He has a thin frame, the result of years of captivity, and his normally shoulder length dark hair is held back into a ponytail. Surgical scars scatter across his body, as well as scars from a beast that stretch behind his right ear and along the back of his neck.

Pale skin is to be expected from being locked in darkness for so long, though in his youth he was a shade darker as were most of his tribe. His eyes are a dull green with flecks of silver and purple dotting the pupil, giving them a shimmer effect when inspected closely. While he has taken to wearing lighter clothing and not animal skins, he has trouble adjusting to temperatures above thirty degrees.

Plain looking would be an accurate description of his facial features though the worn look of a life of turmoil does give him a sense of age and refinement. While he holds the appearance of a man in his late twenties, he is well over seventy. He can grow facial hair quickly, another trait of his heritage, but it is customary for shamans to remain clean shaven. Despite that attempt for some normalcy to his life, he does carry a spear as well as a bow with arrows slung across his back.

Aside from his traditional weaponry, he also holds several trinkets and charms made of polished stone, beads, and animal bones. These are more than just simple jewelry as they ward off evil spirits and give him focus whether through the use of his electrical abilities or to allow him to better to traverse dreams, only he knows.

Stats:
ATK: 3
DEF: 3
SPD: 2
TEC: 2

Starting Proficiencies:
Ranged Proficiency; 1000 OM
Ranged Materialize Proficiency; 600 OM
Remote-Control Proficiency; 600 OM
Area Attack Proficiency; 600 OM


Starting Powers:

Electrokinesis - 900 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Ranged Materialize Proficiency, Remote-Control Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency)
Shū doesn’t draw in electricity from the air or generate it from his physical body. He taps into the raging god locked away inside of him to bring forth bolts of lightning and the crackling of electricity. It takes only a moment for Shū to summon electricity around his body and his immediate vicinity, he can even use it for mundane tasks like lighting a fire or illuminating a dark area. The closer he is to an opponent the more they feel the full force of electricity. The further away they are or the wider the spread of his electricity (~80 ft. distance or ~30 ft. radius), the effects are reduced to nothing more than static in the air. This ability, while used in combat, only creates electricity around him and allows simple attacks to nearby targets. It is highly inaccurate without furthers assistance by other moves. More accurate and powerful ranged and area attacks (such as bolts of lightning or a shock wave of electricity) are advanced moves that must be purchased separately. Keeping this ability going for longer than fifteen minutes at a time pushes him past his limits and can cause a massive feedback, incapacitating him. He needs approximately thirty minutes to recharge.


Starting Moves:

Bow and Arrows; 300 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency)
A wooden bow, lovingly crafted and polished smooth. The string is of a silken make, waxed and practically immune to snapping. A leather grip wrap encompasses the center of the wooden limb, accompanied by bone weights at the ends to provide greater stabilization. Each arrow is of equal craftsmanship, 20 in a leather-bound quiver, and can be replenished by Shū when not in direct confrontation and takes about ten minutes to replenish . All arrow heads are made of glass-stone, symbols of spirit banishment etched into each one. He can fire off one arrow at a time in approximately one second at a maximum distance of 1000 yards depending on the trajectory of the arrow. The average arrow travels at about 150 mph in a straight line, that speed slows significantly (reduced to 30-60mph) if the arrow is fired at an arc to attain maximum distance.

I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct. I have read the rules and promise not to be a diva. ^-^

Where did you find us? RPG-Directory, I believe.

Other: So I got totally swept up in building the character, please don’t hesitate to let me know what I can approve, it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I wanted to tackle an original character before taking the reigns of a more established character. I have a whole bunch of stuff for background info and practically a syllabus on his world. I promise it’s nothing too daunting, let me know if you want me to put it here for reference or if I should just wait to put it in later should I get approved. I’m also not sure on image use (I like to have a visual reference) so if you want me to remove it, I can do so. I also have a crap-ton of online monikers and I'm not big on being addressed by my character but you guys can call me Shu for now. Thanks!

[Daniel]

Electrokinesis - You need to describe everything that this move can do. If it helps, write out each variant of this move like they are separate moves. I also suggest looking back at the Rules page on moves.

Bow and arrows - I'm going to assume that these travel at the normal speed of an arrow (if not, please add this detail in). How long does he need to concentrate for before the distance increases to 1000 yards? I'm going to say this move costs 600 OM (300 yards, 1000 yards). How long does it take for Shu to replenish her arrows? How many arrows can be fired at once?

[Shu]

Ah, knew the move stuff was gonna get me.


Electrokinesis - 900 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Ranged Materialize Proficiency, Remote-Control Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency)
Shū doesn’t draw in electricity from the air or generate it from his physical body. He taps into the raging god locked away inside of him to bring forth bolts of lightning and the crackling of electricity. It takes only a moment for Shū to summon electricity around his body and his immediate vicinity, he can even use it for mundane tasks like lighting a fire or illuminating a dark area. The closer he is to an opponent the more they feel the full force of electricity. The further away they are or the wider the spread of his electricity (~80 ft. distance or ~30 ft. radius), the effects are reduced to nothing more than static in the air. This ability, while used in combat, only creates electricity around him and allows simple attacks to nearby targets. It is highly inaccurate without furthers assistance by other moves. More accurate and powerful ranged and area attacks (such as bolts of lightning or a shock wave of electricity) are advanced moves that must be purchased separately. Keeping this ability going for longer than fifteen minutes at a time pushes him past his limits and can cause a massive feedback, incapacitating him. He needs approximately thirty minutes to recharge.

Changes: Wasn't sure how to go about making electricity generation, I may need some additional help on this one. Been borrowing heavily from the pyrokinesis in the rules section. Kinda wanted it to be on par with Cole from Infamous or Ginji from Get Backers, just to give you an idea of what I was going for but not as extreme. Made some additions, trying to make it more of a utility move with minimum benefits in combat. So I watered it down and added time and distance. Hopefully this works but if you'd like me to break it down more, like the variants you suggested to give it more depth, no problem.

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Bow and Arrows; 300 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency)
A wooden bow, lovingly crafted and polished smooth. The string is of a silken make, waxed and practically immune to snapping. A leather grip wrap encompasses the center of the wooden limb, accompanied by bone weights at the ends to provide greater stabilization. Each arrow is of equal craftsmanship, 20 in a leather-bound quiver, and can be replenished by Shū when not in direct confrontation and takes about ten minutes to replenish . All arrow heads are made of glass-stone, symbols of spirit banishment etched into each one. He can fire off one arrow at a time in approximately one second at a maximum distance of 1000 yards depending on the trajectory of the arrow. The average arrow travels at about 150 mph in a straight line, that speed slows significantly (reduced to 30-60mph) if the arrow is fired at an arc to attain maximum distance.

Changes : The average speed of an arrow fired by a professional from a recurve bow is about 150 mph so I threw that in there.  And I'm hesitant to make it a concentration thing, firing a bow at longer distance can be determined by trajectory and draw strength. Plus adding more OM puts me over my limit.  As for firing off multiple arrows, I wanna say I'll save that for another move and just left this at one arrow at a time. So, increased maximum distance and speed, removed concentration. Clarified one arrow fired at a time.

If the moves need more work, let me know and I'll knock it out as soon as possible.

[Daniel]

Electrokinesis - So, as it is now, this is a field of electricity that just damages anyone inside of it? That's what it seems like to me, if I am wrong about is then please correct me.

Bow and Arrows - When it comes to ammunition, you can do the whole replenishing thing quite quickly. "takes about ten minutes to replenish" that's way too long, especially if you're in battle. You'd probably be able to justify re-summoning 2 arrows per second (straight to the quiver).

[Shu]

Taking your advice on breaking it down, I can see how it looked cluttered and confusing.  If this is looking a little "meh" I can dial it back to something simple.

Electrokinesis - 900 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Ranged Materialize Proficiency, Remote-Control Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency)
Shū doesn’t draw in electricity from the air or generate it from his physical body. He taps into the raging god locked away inside of him to bring forth bolts of lightning and the crackling of electricity. It takes only a moment for Shū to summon electricity around his body and his immediate vicinity. This move has the following effects and weaknesses:
• Walking Current: Can be used for mundane purposes, such as lighting a fire or illuminating dark areas.
• Electrical Strike: He can lash out with a streak of electricity, at a maximum of 80 ft. The farther the streak extends, the weaker it is in power. This attack is highly inaccurate though he can use this every 2-3 minutes.
• Electric Nova: He can create an expanding electrical ring at a maximum of a 30 ft. radius, weakening as it extends. This requires a build up, leaving him vulnerable for a minute. He can use this every 7 minutes.
• Flash Counter: There is a constant charge surrounding him, offering an immediate counter attack of electricity if he is attacked. However, this will only occur if he has not used Electrokinesis for anything else. This counter only works once, like a static discharge, and will require him to wait a full 30 minutes to use Electrokinesis again.
• Time Limit: He can keep this ability activated for a maximum of 15 minutes and exceeding that time will cause massive feedback, incapacitating him. If this ability is deactivated, he requires approximately 30 minutes to recharge.
• Future Requirements: This ability is a prerequisite to use more advanced moves, which must be purchased separately.

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I wasn't sure I could have him summon more arrows that quickly, I thought Primes could only summon stuff at a minimum of 3 minutes. Made the changes here.

Bow and Arrows - 300 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency)
A wooden bow, lovingly crafted and polished smooth. The string is of a silken make, waxed and practically immune to snapping. A leather grip wrap encompasses the center of the wooden limb, accompanied by bone weights at the ends to provide greater stabilization. Each arrow is of equal craftsmanship, 20 in a leather-bound quiver, and Shū can replenish the quiver with two arrows per second. All arrow heads are made of glass-stone, symbols of spirit banishment etched into each one. He can fire off one arrow at a time in approximately one second at a maximum distance of 1000 yards depending on the trajectory of the arrow. The average arrow travels at about 150 mph in a straight line, that speed slows significantly (reduced to 30-60mph) if the arrow is fired at an arc to attain maximum distance.

[Daniel]

Walking Current - is this a purely fodder thing?

Electrical Strike - What does it look like? how fast does it travel? what is it's charge time?

Electric Nova - What does it look like? What is it's charge time?

Flash Counter - What sort of charge time does this have, initially?

For the entire move - what sort of energy/ stamina drain does the move/moves have on your character? Your cool down times are too long. For example, a fight in the omniverse might only last anywhere from 5 - 20 minutes (depending on the kind of fight and the writers that are participating).

Bow and Arrows - "Shū can replenish the quiver with two arrows per second. " You need to be able to concentrate to do this, if you're getting attacked, it's going to be hard to re-summon arrows.

[Shu]

If I'm handicapping myself too much, I'll try to amp it up but I am using Pyrokinesis in the move rules to kinda gauge how to describe this. Though looking at it again, maybe I'm trying to do too much. I'll break it down and try to fix the concerns you have:

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Walking Current: Purely for RP purposes. Or fodder, if you will. I can remove this if it's just cluttering up the description and causing confusion.

Electrical Strike: Extended description, clarified charge time (a moment), and plugged in a speed (100 mph).

Electrical Nova: Extended description, added a charge time of 30 seconds. Reduced average use time to 5 minutes at a time instead of 7.

Flash Counter: Added an initial charge time of 2 minutes.

Stamina drain/cooldown times: I added a stamina drain for the end of his time limit or if he deactivates the ability. I'm trying to hinder myself as much as possible in terms of time constraints seeing as I'm trying to do a lot with this one ability. Putting an overall time limit of 15 minutes allows him to use Electrical Strike about 5 times and the Nova about 3 times. I allowed for a shorter amount of recharge time but I put in a massive stamina drain for the end of the move so I don't see him using it again after his time is up. As you said, fights last from 5-20 minutes which, with what I currently have, makes it seem a bit OP to me but I'll leave that to your judgement.

~~~~~~~~

Electrokinesis - 900 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Ranged Materialize Proficiency, Remote-Control Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency)
Shū doesn’t draw in electricity from the air or generate it from his physical body. He taps into the raging god locked away inside of him to bring forth bolts of lightning and the crackling of electricity. It takes only a moment for Shū to summon electricity around his body and his immediate vicinity. This move has the following effects and weaknesses:

     • Walking Current: Can be used for mundane purposes, such as lighting a fire or illuminating dark areas. Purely for RP purposes (fodder).

     • Electrical Strike: He can lash out with a streak of electricity that extends from his hand, having the appearance of an erratic lightning bolt. This attack only takes a moment to summon and has a maximum reach of 80 ft. at 100mph.  The farther the streak extends, the weaker it is in power. While Electrical Strike is highly inaccurate, he can use it every 2-3 minutes as long as Electrokinesis is activated.

     • Electric Nova: He can create an expanding electrical ring around his body, resembling a mass of electrical currents tightly packed and thinning out as it expands. It covers a maximum of a 30 ft. radius around him, weakening as it increases in size and requires him to concentrate for 30 seconds to use it. He can use this every 5 minutes as long as Electrokinesis is activated.

     • Flash Counter: There is a constant charge surrounding him, offering an immediate counter attack of electricity if he is attacked. However, this will only occur if he has not used Electrokinesis for anything else and requires a two minute charge time. This counter only works once, like a static discharge, and will require him to wait a full 15 minutes to use Electrokinesis again.

     • Time Limit: Electrokinesis causes a lot of strain on his body. He can keep this ability activated for a maximum of 15 minutes and exceeding that time will cause massive feedback, incapacitating him. While using this ability, he doesn't show much sign of fatigue but as soon as Electrokinesis is deactivated, for any reason, all of that energy use rushes at him and he becomes extremely exhausted to the point of collapsing. If this ability is deactivated for any reason, he requires approximately 15 minutes to recharge.

     • Future Requirements: This ability is a prerequisite to use more advanced moves, which must be purchased separately.


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Added a concentration time. Added 2 arrows at 3 minutes if in the middle of battle.

Bow and Arrow - 300 OM (Requires: Ranged Proficiency)
A wooden bow, lovingly crafted and polished smooth. The string is of a silken make, waxed and practically immune to snapping. A leather grip wrap encompasses the center of the wooden limb, accompanied by bone weights at the ends to provide greater stabilization. Each arrow is of equal craftsmanship, 20 in a leather-bound quiver, and Shū can replenish the quiver with two arrows per second if he isn't under attack and has time to concentrate. If under attack, it will take him three minutes of concentration to summon two arrows. All arrow heads are made of glass-stone, symbols of spirit banishment etched into each one. He can fire off one arrow at a time in approximately one second at a maximum distance of 1000 yards depending on the trajectory of the arrow. The average arrow travels at about 150 mph in a straight line, that speed slows significantly (reduced to 30-60mph) if the arrow is fired at an arc to attain maximum distance.

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I can just knock Electrokinesis down to the Electrical Strike or Flash Counter if this is all a pain in the butt. I mean, it's just a prerequisite for a bunch of other moves I have in mind and I really don't want to be a pest about all this if it's looking a bit janky. I don't wanna be "that guy".

[Daniel]

Look, you don't need Electrokinesis at all, that honestly feels like a fodder thing to explain how he manipulates electricity/lightning and creates attacks out of it. My advice would be to ditch the whole Electrokinesis shtick and write out each move separately. The problem with keeping it as it is is that it just complicates everything.

Bow and Arrows - Looks fine to me.

Example:

Electrical Strike (Ranged Proficiency) (300 OM) - Shu, after taking three seconds to charge his electrical abilities, lashes out with his arm and creates a streak of yellow electricity that travels in a straight line at a constant speed of 100mph. This streak of electricity is about 1 inch wide and 3 feet tall and will travel roughly 80 feet before dispersing. Upon contact with a target, the streak of electricity will knock said target backwards a couple of feet, as well as leaving electrical burns on the point of impact. This move isn't too taxing on Shu's stamina or energy but, if used carelessly and continually for too long, the electricity can cause a kind of electrical feedback and drain more of his stamina than intended.

That's just an example of how I would write the move. But if you separate the moves into their own move and then just use Electrokinesis as a fodder requirement of how he manipulates electricity, that'd be simpler. Then you can give each moves their caveats based on the move and what you want it to do.

[Shu]

Fair enough, sorry about dragging the process out. I tend to overthink things from time to time. You worded Electrical Strike perfectly, I’ll try to add something to it but I hope you don’t mind if I use that as is.

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Electrical Strike (Ranged Proficiency) (300 OM) – Shū, after taking three seconds to charge his electrical abilities, lashes out with his arm and creates a streak of yellow electricity that travels in a straight line at a constant speed of 100mph. This streak of electricity is about 1 inch wide and 3 feet tall and will travel roughly 80 feet before dispersing. Upon contact with a target, the streak of electricity will knock said target backwards a couple of feet, as well as leaving electrical burns on the point of impact. This move isn't too taxing on Shu's stamina or energy but, if used carelessly and continually for too long, it becomes increasingly inaccurate and the electricity can cause a kind of electrical feedback, draining more of his stamina than intended.



Electrical Nova (Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency) (300 OM) – Shū can release a ring of electrical energy that expands outward at a maximum radius of 30 feet. Golden electricity wavers erratically in all directions, traveling at 50mph before dispersing at its maximum radius. The height of the attack reaches to about three feet, traveling four feet off the ground but leaving a residue of electricity till the attack dissipates. It takes Shū 10 seconds of concentration to summon forth the energy to unleash the attack, electricity whipping around him and scorching the ground near his feet. During that time, he must be uninterrupted or the attack will implode on him and cause a massive feedback that will drain him of his stamina. The attack itself is draining but nowhere near as strenuous if he fails to unleash it. Should an opponent be hit with the Nova, not only will it cause electrical burns but they will be flung back several feet.

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I’m just gonna stick with those two for now and hold onto the rest of my OM. And here’s a quick tally of OM use:

Starting OM: 5000
Proficiencies: 2800
Moves: 600
Remaining: 1600

[Daniel]

So you're not taking your Bow and Arrows move?

Just so you know, powers aren't powers you make up for your character, they are listed in the proficiencies and Powers section of the rules (you put electrokinesis as a power and I wanted to clear that up).

Anyway, you are approved. If you are taking Bow and Arrows then just add it into the moves section and update the OM counts.

Name: Shu En'Asena
Spent OM: 3400
Proficiencies (2800); Ranged Proficiency (1000), Ranged Materialize (600), Remote control (600), Area Attack (600)
Powers (0/8000);
Moves (600); Electrical Strike (300), Electrical Nova (300)
Super Moves (0);
Transformations (0);
Assists (0);
Items (0);
Artefacts: None
Consumed OM (0); (for consumed items or OM permanently lost from respecs, etc)
Bases (0);
Unlocks (0);
Base stats:
ATK: 3
DEF: 3
SPD: 2
TEC: 2

Please make a new thread in the Roster forum with the name of your character as the title and copy and paste the above into the first post. It is also highly recommended that you make more posts within your own roster that detail any extra information about your character that you wish to include for the benefit of others. Any future purchases can be made in your log, here.