"*A-a-a-hem!* Look alive, wage slaves! Preeeesenting -

[Harley Quinn]

Where was I? Just moments before, I was being occupied with torture by hired guns and forcibly sentenced to isolation. That bitch Amanda Waller kept promising me that if I did not stop acting Koo Koo for Coco puffs, she was going to give me a lethal injection. I’d like to give her a lethal injection. Yeesh, ya make one little mistake and they never letcha forget. So that had to be it, I was dead or drying, great. The light was blinding, so blinding that I couldn't see anything else but brightness. Gross, this light is not good for my pearly complexion. Where was my cell, where was my bed, and Mr. Foo Foo Stuffy?

Then poof, this big headed asshole appeared in front of me. It was basically like blah blah blah F you, blah blah blah, you're stuck here, blah blah deal with it. How dare he! I mean granted, I was not in the best spot previously, but I did not ask to be whisked away to be someone’s play thing and enjoyment. I was nobody's toy, not now, not ever...again. He really put the "Fun" in funeral, that asshole.

Looking around I saw nothing, I did see though, that somehow I was no longer wearing that hideous orange jumpsuit but the outfit that I had designed for the Suicide Squad. This is nice, I look hot, but how am I looking so fine in a room with literally nothing in it. Maybe this is a photo shoot, I spun around again looking for any sign and seeing not a damn thing.. What the hell? No, I am not going to get dropped into this place without anything valuable.

In a frustrating fit, I threw myself to the ground and screamed, pounding my fists into the pale placid surface. This can’t be happening, how can I live without my beautiful candy cane prime wood bat in my grasp. I can see it now almost like it was real with me. Wait my bat, raising my left arm I saw the comforting shape of my beloved bat. Well, at least I am ready but ready for what? That was the question. Huh, I swear It was not with me like 3 minutes ago and now here it is. I guess that is why I am crazy.

“Bitch could have given me a ride!” I yelled into the emptiness, not even hearing my own echo return. "Ya got a hearin problem or somethin? No nada zero zip zilch, nothin okaaaaay?" At least, tell me where the fuck I was going, that would have been nice to know. I guess I had to get my ass to walking, that was one thing I was not looking forward to. How long was I going to walk in these heels?

I’ll tell you how long, forever, I have to walk forever, for the rest of my miserable life. No matter how many loud steps I took, nothing appeared in sight. It was outrageous, but I was missing the comfort of my cell. My sparkly shorts glittered along the whitewashed path in front of me, while I swung my weapon around playfully, the only thing to entertain me on this lonely road.

After what seemed like long endless days, I saw something in the distance. Finally, I am not all alone trapped in this pitiful nightmare. Coming closer, I could visibly see features of what appeared to be some sort of architectural landmark.

It was a fountain. A plain old, marble white fountain and it was not even a vodka fountain because the first thing I did was try it. What a complete disappointment, taking my bat I swung at that stupid fountain, the concrete confetti pleased me. Nowhere left to go but to forward I guess. By the way things were going now, I am not having any fun and crazy things happen when Harley is not having a good time. I bet that fat headed asshole did not want to see Harley pissed the fuck off.


This place is a dump wherever I am. It is barren, and bright just like a mental hospital, it felt like home for all the wrong reasons. I am coming up this gigantic door right off in the distance however, it's too large to give it a piece of my mind with the baby here. Sweet baby, I am so glad I am not alone on this trip and my beautiful bat is by my side. If I ever found anyone in this hell's waiting room, I might just clock them in the head for funsies.