Looking For Bounty Hunting Assistance

[Alain the Carnedge]

[Posted by Anonymous]

Alright, let's get straight to the point.

TL;DR: There's this Nealaphh thing on the Bounty board. I'm looking for people who want to take it down. You guys that are up for killing/banishing a murdering and kidnapping eldritch shadow-thing, put some contact details here. I'm sure we can work something out.

Slightly Longer Version: Nealaphh has (allegedly) killed Camelot troops, assaulted Stormtroopers, killed a Big Daddy (which is apparently some kind of genetically altered human with a drill-arm, if what I found on here is accurate) and kidnapped a Little Sister (which is a young girl that's also been genetically altered and can harvest something called ADAM. Basically, it's like a bad science fiction movie) along with any other crimes that it didn't leave witnesses for. While I'm sure some of you aren't interested in bounty hunting (in which case why the hell are you looking at this, exactly?) I think that a lot of people would like to see this thing dead or banished for blatant murder and kidnapping, regardless.

[Tearen Wover]

Dear Anonymous,

Far be it from me to try and condemn you for pursuing a valuable target such as myself, but I feel that it would be remiss if I did not at least make an attempt to be forward with you.

While the circumstances of my variable crimes around the Omniverse are too myriad and complicated to reiterate here, I assure you that I have only ever had the best interest of all Primes and Secondaries at heart. I harbor no ill feelings neither towards you, those that have placed a bounty on me, or anyone who elects to join you on your hunt. I would, however, recommend you maintain an awareness that my acceptance of your invested interest in my death does not conflate to a desire refrain from defending myself.

I feel that it is only fair to warn you that I myself am in possession of a number of banishing circles, and that, in the event you or anyone else attempts to collect on my bounty, I will not hesitate to send you to the Underverse in my stead. There is too much at stake for me to be away from the main Omniverse for any amount of time, and I cannot, in good conscience, let a threat such as you be met with anything less than the full extent of my abilities. I suppose I should thank you for providing me with what equates to an advance notice of your hypothetical attack; in the event you do somehow manage to track me down, I assure you that I will not be without a considerable amount of my own eager defenders.

That all being said, I admire your gumption and desire to rise to a challenge such as myself. Perhaps when the day comes that I am ready to travel to the Underverse in an attempt to bring an ideal balance to it, I will let you collect on my price with full enthusiasm. Until such time, it is my personal recommendation to you and to all who would desire to win the prize of my banishment to let me do my work. Surely, by the time I am ready to let you banish me, my value will have increased exponentially.

Progress is the enemy of establishment, after all.

Thank you for your time,

Nealaphh

[Reece]

Dear Anonymous,

As Nealaphh himself has already pointed out, he has only the best interests of the Omniverse's people at heart. True, there may have been a few occasions when things may not have worked out in the best possible way (truthfully, I myself don't know any more than you do regarding the incidents mentioned on the board), but after having read his book, the Monotruth, and having found his organisation, the Omniverse Institute, I am convinced that he can do what other Primes such as King Aragorn & Princess Guu have failed to accomplish, and improve the Omniverse as a whole, rather than just a single verse.

I understand the lure of Omnilium well – I have something I must summon as soon as possible, as I am sure you too must, to be contemplating an act as heinous as sending another thinking being to a literal hell from which not even death can free them – but you mustn't let the desire for wealth control you; that's just what Omni wants! Please, before you go through with this, at least take a look at http://www.antiomni.org/volvagia. Can't you see how much good ridding the world of a menace like that dragon would be? Could you really live with yourself if your actions allowed it to escape the punishment it surely deserves far more than Nealaphh, and in so doing condemned more innocent Secondaries to death?

~Yajima

P.S. Headmaster Nealaphh, if you happen to see this comment, then I would like to apologise in advance for not being able to rush to your aid, but, to be frank, as I am now I would likely just get in your way. I hope that my words can sway this bounty hunter into letting you be, but in the likely event that they cannot, then I wish you and any decent people who will fight by your side in this conflict the best of luck.

[Alain the Carnedge]

This is the Anonymous that originally sent out this message. While I appreciate your responses, I'm sure you figured out that this won't sway somebody that has interest in Omnilium for long.

However, I'll allow you to at least have your shot at Volvagia, but after that, all bets are off. And while I'm unsure as to whether or not you speak the truth as to your crimes, I have no obligation to any of the victims of said crimes other than the promise of payment, so I can wait.

And "Yajima", I would honestly be lying if I gave a damn as to whether or not I'm doing what Omni wants, as I highly doubt an uprising against him would work as you envision it. In this place, I assume he's effectively a god. And while people tell stories of killing gods, think of actually trying to do so as trying to fight a giant death robot with a sword made of paper. If he's powerful enough to not only get all of us here, but also manage to reduce all of us to this level of power, no matter who we were, then I highly doubt killing him will be an option.

Also, I won't go into detail as that's practically giving you my identity, but I did play a part in ridding the Pale Moors of a slightly similar beast, though it was not a Prime. There was a battle for the power of the beast's heart, core, or whatever it was, and I walked away empty-handed in the end. I won't give you the information as to who left with the prize in question or the identity of the others that lost out, as they, in the case of the former, won fair and square, and in the case of the latter, lost out as I did. Those people get to keep their anonymity, and, while they've likely figured out who sent this, I hope they'll allow me to keep mine.

But the monster was vanquished in the end, so I think my conscience can survive delaying the banishment of this "Volvagia". It's not like this would be the only opportunity to take it down. I'm giving Nealaphh their opportunity simply because this has likely been in the works for a long time, and I don't feel like ruining weeks or months of planning unless the outcome of said plan is specifically bad for me, which it obviously isn't.

I cannot however, speak for any other bounty hunters that might come your way. If anybody else runs into you, that's their business, not mine. Either way, long story short: You get until Volvagia is vanquished, or until your attempt fails. After that, the hunt is back on, assuming I have nothing else to do at the time.

Oh, and please don't try to recruit me for your goddamn cult, or whatever it is. I'm not interested.