[Flashback] Lonely at the top

[Oleander]

“Herrrg… ngn…” The crushing weight is what finally woke Stein. Not the sound of crashing, or the constant ringing of his phone, but the sudden impact of something landing upon him, drilling his body through the third floor of his building down into the basement. After a brief moment, the weight lifted and he could hear a thundering impact not far off.
 
The hero rolled out of what used to be his bed and snatched his ruined cellphone off the ground. With a sigh, he clinched it in his hand. Much like stitching flesh, the bits and pieces grew back together. He powered the device on and flipped through his texts.
 
“Attention, all S class heroes. Dragon-level threat has been sighted in X-City.”
 
“Thaaat’s what woke me… Cool.” Pocketing the phone in his fuzzy pajama pants, the hero flicked his hands up. The sphere appeared between them then after a moment of focus, it shatters, reforming into full sized Comet Shield. He tossed the shield and then leapt upon it to surf through the air as easily as he would slide sock footed through the kitchen.
 
Up and out of the hole, Stein quickly analyzed the situation. A group of giant, dragon-like creatures were swarming the sky and land. He could already see a number of the other heroes had come to the aid. “Best not keep them waiting,” he mumbled to himself mid-yawn. The comet shield beneath his feet moved at the slightest twitch of his feet, propelling him above the buildings and forward.
 
In each hand he created another orb, tossing them left and right as he proceeded. Like individual egg timers, they powered up, and then shattered to reform into Shield Guardians. These glass soldiers race across the ground, parting ways with Stein to preform damage control. As was his job. It was why he was lumped in with S-class as an A-class hero. Twelve Shield Guardians in total were summoned, and as they raced away they were constantly growing in their own individual power.
 
Skyward aimed, he surfed above a great many of the dragons. A few tried to take a bite out of him, but a tilt of the shield and all they received was a snout of glass, or a scraping of their teeth along an impenetrable wall. They were not very agile, and that was one of their greatest flaws. One attack and they flew away to remain airborne, while Stein moved more like a humming bird.
 
Both hands came together to create another orb. The glassy structure grew rapidly at first, then slowed down as it reached the size of a basketball. He moved the orb overhead as it began crackling with condensed magical energy. It might have seemed dangerous, but even the heroes that spotted this soon to be massive growing orb did not make an effort to move out of the way. The Turtle Guard was pretty famous for lacking any devastating attacks.
 
One hand left the growing shield as another dragon approached. As the creature’s snout slammed into Stein’s palm, pushing him back through the air, a crystalline shell began to form, like a splash of water in a sphere around the dragon. As it completed, the winged beast fell from the sky, unable to flap its mighty wings in the new structure.
 
“Almighty Shield,” Stein announced. He was not big on announcing the names of his moves; that seemed quite cliche. However, this was the one exception. The words spread like a crack of thunder across the cityscape below. The orb overhead had grown to the mass of a large man. Most of his shields required a sphere barely larger than a golf ball, but this was his greatest creation.
 
The last hand feeding power into the shield lowered. The crackling orb fell to the ground below. On impact with pavement, it shatters. The magical glass-like shockwave spread faster than wild fire across gasoline soaked dry grass. Stein’s gaze quickly picked out all the dragons he could see as the growing dome raced towards them. Buildings, animals, people, they were all spared but the dragons bubbled by the shield and forced up. Heroes passed through, gaining from the shield a second wind. Buildings were repaired, civilians and animals were healed.
 
The Turtle Guard watched as the Shield Guardians below threw the dragons into the air, the bubble shields making them nigh weightless. Those who could fly grabbed the creatures, or assaulted them through the one-way shield. One by one, the creatures were slaughtered. Defenseless and imprisoned, there was no real fight. None could break his shields…
 
The danger level was obviously in their numbers, not their individual strength. This must be how Saitama feels. He had woken up, hoping for something more… thrilling. All he got was a cool scene of flying bus-sized dragons.
 
Almighty Shield was a powerhouse. It took a while to create, almost a minute even with his great reserve of energy. It was the opposite of Saitama’s One Punch – which remained the only thing Stein knew could defeat it. Even Metal Knight had yet to build something on such a grand scale.
 
 
 
 
 
Six hours later… Stein was back in his repaired apartment, watching TV. His head rested on the arm of his couch, with a phone held to his ear. “No, I’m fine…. Seriously… I told you why, the S-class heroes are jerks… Well not all of them, but a lot of them…  No, I won’t name an-- … I’m not being disrespectful, I’m just saying I like A-class, all my friends are A-class.” The conversation continues like this for an hour.
 
It was hard for people to understand. Ranks and Class meant so little to Stein. Heroing was not a competition, it was a job, just like anything else. S-class did not offer anything he wanted, and it just meant he would have to attend those awful meetings. As A-rank, he could just show up to a high danger crisis, do his thing and not have to worry about the semantics. After all, those meetings were usually about how to save lives and property – which he had in spades. If anything, they needed him.
 
Stein’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. With a groan he rolled off the couch and yanked on some pants. When he opened the door, he was met with his cute neighbor in an arm sling. “Hey…”
 
“Sup?” Stein smiles. “You need help watering your plants again?”
 
The young redhead shakes her head and smiles. “No, just… baked you a thank-you pie. Cherry with chocolate chips and mint, I know it’s your favorite.” It was plastered on his fan page at this point… chocolate and mint anything was high on his list. “I thought I was going to die when that beam crushed me…”
 
Stein waved off the notion. “That was my bad… I had my phone on silent, I should have stopped all of that before it even happened. I’m just sorry I couldn’t instantly heal your arm.”
 
The young woman laughed. “Doctor said I should have had a collapsed lung and a dozen ruptured veins… I think you fixed the issues that mattered.” Stein nodded. He’d accept that much at least. She handed over the pie, complete with a quart of ice cream to melt over it. “Anyway, thanks.”
 
As she turned to leave, he watched her sashay away. “Hey,” he began. She turned and offered that cute, bright smile. “Would you…” He tried once more, but hesitated.
 
“Would I what?”
 
Like to catch a movie? Have dinner with me? Netflix and chill? No. “Would you like your pie tin back? I think I still have the one from last time.”
 
“Sure, just bring them over when you’re done, okay?”
 
He nodded. After nudging the door closed with his foot, a long, annoyed sigh escaped him. What was I thinking? Of course she’d say yes… Why would anyone say no? I saved her life, she’d be obligated. Hell, everyone would be obligated. Another downside of being a famous hero; dating sucked.
 
He returned to the couch. The pie tin burned his leg even through his pants, but his tough skin could handle it. He spooned some of the butterpeacon ice cream onto the crust and scooped up a hearty spoonful of the combination. Another successful mission, another boring night in: it made Stein almost miss his C-class days.

[Oleander]

Three years ago.
B-class, rank 29, Gunther Stein – AKA the Undyne.
 
Responding to a Disaster Level Tiger, Stein was the first on site to confront a giant beast. What he found was nothing more than a wad of writhing tentacles spewing forth from the sewers. Each slimy black appendage was tipped with what looked to be a hard tip, meant for piercing and slashing. From the tingle running up his spine, he knew they would definitely be hard enough to pierce his natural defenses.
 
“If you can understand me, then know that I am your enemy here!” He beaconed to the beast. The creature quivered in response, a number of the spear-like tentacles aligning, taking aim on him. They struck like a dozen vipers and it took all of the Undying’s focus to deflect as many as he could. Four nicked him, while two managed to sink right through his hide and emerge on the other side: one through his chest, the other through his gut.
 
His initial grunt became a growl as they began pulling, trying to tear him apart. His body tensed and he used all of his strength to keep himself together, rapidly healing around the intruders to resist the tentacle’s sustained force. The hero could hear the gasps from afar as would-be victims behind him catch sight over their shoulders.
 
More tentacles aimed at him, and three more found themselves trapped in the Undying’s body. Stein deflected as many as he could, but blood dribbled from his mouth. More and more spear-like appendages tear through him and soon fighting became impossible.  The hero laughed. “Looks like I’ve got you all tied up now.”
 
Little did this mindless creature know, the fight had come to an end. It tried to pull out of the should-be corpse, but the Undying focused all of his efforts on regeneration. The tiny little barbs that should shred flesh kept the tentacles locked in place. All he had to do now, was hold this mass firm and wait for another Hero’s assistance… so they would no doubt take all the glory.
 
“Oh, how… delightful…” The words were little more than a moan – a very sultry one at that. The rest of the mass finally emerges entirely from the storm drain. The only thing really hidden beneath was what controlled the beast. To Stein’s shock, the mass of tentacles was topped with a bare-chested ebony woman. From the waist up, she was gorgeous, with skin as dark as ink and eyes of dull crimson. Her hair was yet more, tinier tentacles that wriggled. “It’s been so long since one brave soul has taken all of me… You feel so young… so… tight…”
 
“WOAH, are these your…?” The tentacle-woman responded with a little nod and a quiver as she tries and fails to move a few of her appendages. “Oh come on! You were just stabbing random people for… GAH that’s gross!”
 
“You ever hear of Hentai?”
 
“Seriously?! THIS IS NOT PROPER SKULL FUCKING!” He states, grabbing the tentacle running through his brow to the back of his head. “Not to mention, it’s the worst reason to be a villain when you can just go into porn and get paid for this crap.”
 
She pauses to this thought. “Porn? Hmm… But they don’t scream right…”
 
“Try anal,” Stein grumbles. “Psuedo rape fantasy… Tentacle porn is all the rage now.”
 
A heavy thump announces the arrival of another hero. Bald head, jumpsuit, cape… “I think I got this one. No need to make a mess…” He holds up a hand, shifting the tentacles driven through his arm. The woman torso quivers in delight – ew. “Let me have this one.
 
“SOO… Search around the internet, look for some job openings, I’m pretty sure you can find something... If not, just talk to people, like normal. There are some kinky folk out there, ya know?”

[Oleander]

“So why don’t YOU have a girlfriend, Gunthypoo?” The question was cooed with the slightest hint of delight. Why? Because the tentacle girl had one of her … appendages… speared right through Stein’s shoulder. This had become almost common practice.
 
After slurping down a mouthful of noodles, the hero sighed. “Lately, I guess I just seem unapproachable. Case and point,” he pointed his fork at the tentacle causing his left shoulder to go numb. “And to be honest, it’s getting to the point where women don’t see me anymore, they see just the Hero. Fame isn’t what it cut out to be.”
 
“Oh?” A dark brow rises. “Well you’ve got a heart of gold, Gunthy. I should know, I felt it earlier.” The tentacle girl winked playfully. They had been talking on and off for a solid hour now. The situation from before had been defused, and as it turns out... Stein had flawed her first attempt at villainy. She had introduced herself as Ursula, and she was a Chimera of sorts.
 
The hero grunted in response. “Chicks just find it kind of gross when you can literally yank out your own heart and give it to them, you know? I mean really, it’s weird.”
 
“I kinda like it. I always thought I’d end up alone too, but -- OooOOHH!”
 
“Oh god!” Stein’s bowl fell off his lap as the tentacled Ursula swiftly scooted the distance between them and wrapped all eighteen tentacles around his body in a vice like grip. It didn’t hurt, but… breathing was something that he liked to do. Not necessarily needed, but lax of oxygen left his lungs burning and his head spinning, like too much alcohol.
 
“I’m gonna stay here forever and EVER! I can play as rough as I want with you and you don’t die!” It took creating a Blink Shield to push the tentacles away long enough to breath. “Mmm, you know what? Ursula and Gunther, Tentacles and the Turtle… Crime fighting duo and… lovers…” Her brow wiggled suggestively, a tentacle strokes his jawline.
 
Stein laughs. “YOU want to be a hero? Not saying you don’t have the skills, but I’m not sure you fit the bill personality wise.” Ursula’s brow furrowed and she attempted to retort, but he shushed her with a finger over her lips. “You literally showed up to tentacle rape anyone you could find.”
 
Was she blushing? Her deep violet skin tainted a few shades darker. “Hey now…  A girl can’t help when she’s ovulating, can she? Had I known someone like you existed…” Back to this topic. Ursula had explained earlier that her tentacles were extremely sensitive, both as pleasure and pain receptors and a means to gauge compatibility and power. This is exactly why she was here… Stein was compatible… and apparently registered as powerful. It also explains why one of the tentacles was still speared through his shoulder.
 
The Hero sighs. “So let me get this straight… You just get REALLY horny when you ovulate, so your first instinct is to stab people?”
 
“Nnnoooo! I stabbed you because I thought you were going to try and kill me. Totally self-defense!”
 
“It’s just a bonus that it felt good.” He countered, brow cocked.
 
“Well,” busted. “I mean, yes, that was a very delightful bonus…” She huffed, slowly withdrawing all but the embedded tentacle to herself. They wrap around her, flattening out till they could wrap around humanoid legs like a second layer of quivering, sleek black flesh. The one in Stein’s shoulder remains.
 
With a sigh, he began pointing out a few of the issues he had. “So, I was looking up things on Octopi reproduction… First thing I noticed, you’re probably a hermaphrodite, right? Female human bits, but I’m betting a few of these tentacles are like the octopus’ mating arm…” It would explain the reason they feel pleasure, considering they might have inherited some of their human counterpart’s physiology.
 
The hard tip yanked free of Stein’s arm to join the other tentacles and Ursula’s flush deepened. “I mean… I guess you could say that…” Nail on the head. “Is that a turn off?” It did not exactly turn him on, considering that meant she had just been shoulder-fucking him the whole time.
 
“Tell you what… You and me can grab a coffee in the morning… and see where it goes. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch.” Why not give it a try?
 
A wicked smirk played across Ursula’s violet lips. “Or… We could share the bed, and I can properly apologize for poking you so many times.” She leans in again, this time just to rest her head on his shoulder, milky eyes peering up at him. “I could let you poke me instead…”
 
The Hero knew he should deny, for the sake of modesty… but hell, why not? “You know what? … That sounds pretty hot… Fair warning, you’re not the only one with a kinky mind.” She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. He wiggles an arm beneath her, lifts, and carries her to the bedroom. As the wound in his shoulder sealed, he planned to get her back for the countless holes she’d made in his body that day…
 
 
 
 
 
2PM the next day.
The sun shining in on Steins face finally woke him up. No alarms rang, which meant no danger had been sighted nearby, and he had forgotten to set his wake up alarm. No doubt because of Ursula keeping him distracted. A smirk formed as he reached across the bed to wake her as well. As he felt nothing but emptiness his eyes opened and he sat upright.
 
Ursula was gone and upon the nightstand laid a note. Of course… He should have expected this.
“Dear Gunthy!
Thanks for such a lovely time, I honestly never expected my first ovulation to be so exhilarating! I’ll make sure in five or six years to send the squidlings your way for father’s day! Don’t worry, I’ll teach them all about people like you, and the porn industry.
 
Thanks for being my hero!
Ursula”
 
He just groaned. He may have subverted a crisis decades before it happened, what with a dozen, if not a dozen-dozen of “squidlings” seeking out mates… but that did not really make him feel any better. It just meant another failed romance.

[Oleander]

Three Years Later.

“Welcome back to Z-City news, I’m Tiara Mizuki, and today we have with us none other than the Turtle Guard!” The perky redhead cheered, clapping with excitement that seemed a bit forced. “So, I have a list of questions from your loyal fans, I thought we’d have a little fun with a simple – but ever so popular Q and A! What do you think?”
 
Stein was smiling, sprawled out on the couch he’d been told to sit on. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, glancing between the various cameras and the empty studio. He’d imagine live audience noises would be added in in production. “I can answer a few questions. I mean, it’s not like I’m Metal Knight, I enjoy my fans. I just hope they enjoy me.” He looked into the camera and winked.
 
He knew how to cater to a crowd, it he’s read Popular Heroing for Dummies after all. “I think we can all say we enjoy heros who aren’t afraid to walk among us lowly mortals, am I right?” The woman tittered lightly.
 
“I like my social life with ‘mortals,’ as you say. Normal people are usually much better at holding a conversation than Heroes who are full of themselves.” He crossed one leg over the other, shrugging with a smile. “Plus, being a Hero doesn’t make us gods, it’s a skill. I have shields and healing, Dosai Miyamoto has a killer voice and shreds on a guitar.”
 
Mizuki nodded, seeming to appreciate that statement. “I like the way you think. And I guess that answers quite a bit on your taste in music. Rockstar suits you, Mr. Guard.”
 
“Oh I’m a big fan of rock and roll and electronic music. You see me with earbuds in, I’m either listening to someone shred on a guitar or some dirty drops. Love those wubs and wah wahs.” Stein grinned, playing a little air guitar just for good measure. He earned another giggle from Mizuki.
 
“Alright, so on to the questions?” Stein nodded and gave a ‘Bring it on’ gesture. “Alright! Question one, what is your given name?”
 
“Ooh, right off the bat. Mmm. It’s a bit embarrassing… Gunther. My dad thought it sounded strong. It means Warrior, so he wasn’t wrong.” He shrugged. “Glad we got that one out early, only up from here, right?”
 
“Ooooooh, I don’t know about that.” Mizuki smirked. “Question two, who is your current looooove interest?” The hero’s brow rose. “You can tell us, your fans are just curious what your type is…”
 
Stein hesitated for a moment. It was a task to keep his smile looking real, but he managed well enough. “No love interest right now, and I don’t really have a type. When you’re like me, you can’t be all that picky.”
 
That was obviously not the answer Mizuki expected. She sat her page of questions down on her oak desk to pursue this line a little further. They had time. “Oh? You are an A-class hero? Rank 1, to be precise, you can have any woman you want.”
 
“Exactly.” Stein noticed the little look of shock and confusion on his interviewer’s face. “Imagine I just saved your life, right? And then ask you out on a date. What would you say?”
 
This lighthearted topic suddenly became a bit more serious than anticipated. “I suppose I’d have to say yes… I mean you just saved my life, the least I could do—“ Stein pointed at her, more at the train of thought she was expressing.
 
When she again looked confused, he explained. “I don’t like dating other Heroes, they are kinda full of themselves. I mean I’m no saint, but…” He shook his head. “Just like anyone with exceptional skill in anything, really, a lot of people let it go to their heads.” Stein waved a hand around gesturing to the craziness of the whole situation. “Would you really like to know my type?”
 
“Well… that was the question…”
 
“I want someone who doesn’t feel obligated to be with me because, as you said, I’m a high ranked Hero. But I began my Heroing without a mask, so everyone pretty much recognizes me on the spot. Just a couple weeks ago, this hot little number bakes me my exact favorite pie – and if you’ve seen my fan page, it’s all true – I’m a freak when it comes to favorite flavored anything. I go to ask if she’d want to go out, but I flop.”
 
Mizuki seems stumped, so instead of waiting for an awkward reply and potential segway into the next question, Stein helps her out. “Even Heroes have insecurities… I’d like someone who doesn’t just want the popular kid in class. And if I do get to be picky, I’d like a nice cute butt and a girl that knows how to make a bangin’ chocolate-pumpkin pie.”
 
“Chocolate pumpkin? That is a weird combo!” Mizuki instantly perked up. She realized the helping hand she had been given. “That’s a pretty deep answer, I for one think it’s quite amazing that even the strongest of heroes have such humanizing traits!”
 
“Moving on to question two though, our viewer Danielle from Z-City wants to know why you’ve changed your hero name so much?”
 
“Well that one’s easy,” Stein’s smile returned. “I never actually picked my hero name. I left it blank, and never screamed it at people like some Heroes, so I sort of got a fanbase name going on. All the names on my fan page are what you guys have considered. I just sort of roll with whatever goes mainstream. It just seems like as my training progresses, you guys think I need a whole new name to fit what I can do.”
 
Mizuki was content with that answer. It was definitely one she was more comfortable with, and one she thought the viewers would like. “So you’re saying we get to pick your name?”
 
“Pretty much. I mean, I pretty much live off the stuff fans send me. I’m not saying I love food, and I’m not saying I love free things – but I do love what happens when the two categories come together.”
 
“Oh? Well I read through these questions earlier and I think you just touched on one of them. If you were to receive gifts, what would you like the most? What do you dislike as gifts?” Mizuki propped her chin on the palm of her hand, feigning absolute interest in her guest.
 
“Back to the tough choices… Well, you never go wrong with food, like I said. I don’t like store bought greeting cards – please avoid them at all costs… If you want to send me a letter, go ahead but it means so much more to me if its hand written.”
 
“Food and hand written notes, you are Mr. Perfect, aren’t you?”
 
“Mr. Perfect can cook. I burn water.” Mizuki and Stein both have a little laugh at that.
 
His interviewer peers down at her paper, looking for another good question to leap into. “Speaking of fan donations, our tech department has run across a fan-run website that claims to give out a signed item from you with each generous donation?”
 
“Right, yea, Turtle Stein Donations dot com is an online charity actually set up by one of my highschool friends. About eighty percent of every donation goes to helping rebuild damaged neighborhoods, fifteen percent goes to a charity of the month, and five percent goes into production. We send out thank you gifts around Christmas time to people who’ve donated a lot over the year. I sign every item individually, and include little messages if the donator has a request. I remember last year I sent about three which were gifts to that cancer patient, Siotori.”
 
“Right! The little boy exposed to that radiation monster, how’s he doing?”
 
Stein sighed, having to think about it. “Last I heard, he’s back in school. After being healed, he spent another couple weeks in recovery, but checked out pretty fine.”
 
“You so nonchalantly talk, but weren’t you the one that healed him? And several others? We have a list… and it’s a long one.” Stein just dismissed the topic with a wave of his hand. “So modest… That brings me to a very big question… Why, Mr. Guard, are you such a noble man among even Heros?”
 
He sighed again, but this one was less of a contemplative sound, more of a ‘here we go.’ This question was a big one and he knew Mizuki had to have planned this one from the beginning. Everyone wanted to know a hero’s motive, it was the one big burning question.
 
“My parents were both heroes. They never have applied for the Hero’s Association, but they were heroes to me. Dad was a detective and Pops was a doctor. Two different worlds, no magic or super powers, but both doing their best to help and protect other people.”
 
“Dad and Pops? So the fan theory is correct?”
 
“Indeed. Two Dads. My mom was a surrogate.”
 
“Did you ever know her?
 
“I mean yea, growing up I had a sort of ternary parental situation. My mom just… She didn’t like heroes as much.” His jaw tensed. “She… actually had a bit of an issue with the law. I guess if I had to pick where I got my quirky attitude, it’d probably be her. She wasn’t a super villain or anything, mind you. Just… a rebel… Thought the Hero’s Association was a sham.” And the awkward beast rose its head again…
 
At least, Stein thought it would. “So two fathers that were good, hardworking citizens and a mother that rebelled against the establishment. Sounds like you had a pretty interesting childhood. Speaking of childhood… another big topic,” there seemed to be a lot of these, “is that you’re actually a father?
 
Should’ve seen this coming. “That’s right…”
 
“Any details?”
 
He had agreed to full disclosure, and he was being paid to be here… “Three years ago, I stopped a would-be villain from doing some things she’d regret. She was… ovulating, and like most of us when we get the urge, she wasn’t thinking straight. One thing led to another and…”
 
“Baby squid?”
 
“Octopi, actually. She was a human-octopus chimera, and from what I can tell the kids are the same as their mother. I guess human DNA doesn’t dilute the octopus aspect.”
 
“Three years? Some of these appear almost twenty years old…”
 
Stein uncrossed then recrossed his legs to lean closer. This was going to get serious nerdy. “Well if she is a cross between human and octopus, they might have an accelerated lifespan somewhere between the octopi’s eight year upper range and the average human lifespan… They could very well be adults by now. That, or they’ve inherited some of my regenerative growth and mutated it… Or they just grow to ovulation age to reproduce and have a human life span – best of both worlds…” The hero pondered aloud, a bit curious himself. Mizuki did not seem as interested.
 
“Well you seem to know a lot about them… Should we be worried? They haven’t caused any crimes as of yet but what about the future?” She was leaning in, clearly looking for the next big scoop.
 
Again, he had to consider this in a greater detail than this quick passed talk show allowed. Another moment was spent looking out over the lack of audience. “Ursula told me she was going to teach them better than that… They just have a very high libido and an urge to reproduce. Nature, you know?” His poor interviewer did not know how to take that. “And if any of my children happen to be watching this… Don’t be afraid to come see me. I’d love to meet you.”
 
“Aaaaand that’s all the time we have for today, thank you Mr. Guard!” As she clapped, he imagined there would be an audio track added to it. He took a little bow, and then the camera stopped rolling. “Seriously… you’re kind of messed up in the head…”
 
Sigh. “I know.”