Illegal Experimentation

[James Knight]

OOC: There are no Lines is this quest. This post is 1713/5000 words, according to the site's word counter. According to Google Docs, this is about 1591 words, so I will allow a staff member to tabulate the difference when it is all said and done. This is just the first of several posts that will be done, to cement something that will later be purchased by me, if that is alright.

There are some days that go exceptionally well. Those days are likened to sunshine, and rainbows. To a cup of lemonade on a hot summer day. Unfortunately for Veritas, the day he was about to have was not one of those days. For during the night while he had been asleep an Imperial Scientist had discovered the sound dampening Force Field, and the Holograms he had put into place to conceal his presence, in the place he was squatting. A squad of Stormtroopers numbered exactly thirty had captured him while he had been asleep. In fact, when he awoke he found himself strapped to a heavy metal table, in the middle of the room. His arms and his legs were completely immobilized, and there was a Force Field weighing down on his neck, so he couldn’t even move that, to look around the room. The room was pure white and sterile and was one of the hidden research facilities of the Empire within Tier One of Coruscant.

“So you’re saying he managed to outfox not one, but three groups of highly trained Storm Troopers with this device alone?” asked one of the scientists, to another who was currently dismantling the technology Veritas had used to conceal his presence on Tier IV.  “Yes, this equipment, as primitive as it seems was able to fool our sensors, and also hide his physical presence. It also seemed that he did manage to make something else, while he was down there, as primitive as the devices are,”  said yet another scientist. 

“These devices appear to have the capacity to fire tractor beams, or to enable his ability to use them via implants.”  The head scientist said. 

Veritas who was only half-alert, and heavily drugged by the scientists was in no condition to do any sort of responding to them, at present. 

"We will need to neutralize him as a potential threat, given that he was brought here in similar fashion to the other Primes."  said one of the scientists. 

"We could perhaps try convincing him to work for us?" asked one of the kinder scientists.

"No, we should try limb removal, and replace all four with limbs we could control. If he knows we can control his body's movements, and make him punch himself, or choke himself, or things like that, the chances of him being a danger to the Empire will be slim to none." 

"But if we do it to him, and he gets mad? He could be a real pain if he knows how to invent stuff, and manages to "fix" what we do to him, with his own technology," said one of the scientists. 

"Still, the possibilities provided by an Imperial controlled individual like himself are too heavy to ignore,"  said the lead scientist. 

"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. I want no part in this," said the scientist who was objecting. The lead scientist nodded, and got out a Westar Blaster Pistol and blasted the scientist who had objected to the treatment of Veritas. It rendered him unconscious, and in no small amount of pain. Other than that, he was unharmed. 

An hour later, surgical tools had been wheeled into the room, plenty of them. From hacksaws, to blow torches, to painful looking prosthetic arms, many tools were in the room that were not exactly what one would consider legal to have used on them. 

Unfortunately, Veritas was conscious. When he noticed the presence of the tools, he started to shake, and try to break himself out of the shackles that held him, but to no avail. The drugs had sapped his strength, and made him unable to get out of the confinement of the chains. 

Note to self, his home was not going to be built here, unless he did something about these scientists who were about to perform what he could only imagine were going to be very painful experiments on his body. Little did he know how right he was going to be. 

“Please don’t,”  begged Veritas in as loud of a voice that he could muster, due to the effects the drug had on him, which also made him tired, and groggy.

“Don’t what?” asked the Head Scientist. 

“Don’t make ourselves stronger, by taking advantage of your nature?” asked the Head Scientist.  

“Oh, but that’s our job!”  He said, a wicked smirk on his face as he began to use the Hack Saw on Veritas’s right arm, without anesthetic of any kind. The doctor was not one who people liked working on him, and as such was not normally used by well, anyone with a brain. 

"AAAAAGGGH!" screamed Veritas, as the painful procedure of the first of many surgeries began. The pain shot like hot knives through his nervous system, banishing any amount of any weariness he may have had. The effects of any tranquilizing the drugs that they had pumped him full of had done was now completely ineffectual. His entire world consisted of relentless, agonizing, long term, miserable, pain. Pain that made him hate the Imperial Scientist that was experimenting on him, by attempting to remove his arm. It also made him imagine several ways that he could put a stop to the scientist's actions. Only one of these was legal, and he was in no shape to perform the others, which involved severe bodily harm to the scientist who was currently doing this to him. 

If he were to get out of this mess with his faculties in tact, he was definitely going to locate this facility, and plant some explosives here in order to prevent himself from being experimented on in the future. It was a matter of principles, in that he was particularly tired of getting experimented on. While his principles would not allow him to drag the scientist who was currently causing him suffering that would be worthy of a medal in Torture and execute him in a public square? It still didn't prevent Veritas from beginning to say several things, some of which involved wishing that the scientist would get ran over, or hit with a Speeder, or blasted with a blaster rifle by Storm Troopers.

"You know you probably won't even remember that we experimented on you, when we're done," said the Head Scientist, Doctor Kratz. 

"And if I do?"

"If you do, what could one man like yourself do to us? It's not like you have an army waiting in the wings, to do anything about it. After all, all we'd have to do is get you put on the Empire's wanted list, and you'd cease to be an issue, you'd be too busy running for your life." 

So he couldn't exactly do anything about the scientists, as much as he wanted to. Escape was not an option, and the saw was almost through with his right arm. The area where it had been cutting off was expelling blood rapidly where the arm had been removed, at the shoulder. 

"Bring me my blow torch," said Doctor Kratz. 

A blow torch was brought by him, and he seared the bleeding blood vessels shut. The searing, agonizing, flames of the blow torch felt like someone was activating all of the pain centers of his body at once, and only redoubled the screaming done by Veritas. With the amount of pain he was in, he was making a conscious effort to stay awake. He was not going to give this "doctor" the satisfaction of seeing him pass out. 

“You know you won’t win, right?”

“How cliche,” said the scientist, holding up the forcibly removed arm so that Veritas could see it. As Veritas looked at the arm that had once been attached to his body, that had been totally removed by the scientist, his eyes drooped, and he sunk into despair. There was truly nothing he could do. No amount of science, unless he could somehow build a regenerator of sorts could undo what the scientist had done.

“Torch the arm,”  commanded Doctor Kratz and the arm was loaded into an incinerator. Once it had been destroyed so well that the arm could never be recovered by Veritas a series of painful looking prosthetic arms were brought in. “Let’s see, which one do we wish to give you, as our first experiment on you?” 

Two hours later, after a series of painful surgeries and Veritas falling unconscious, a black, sleek metallic looking arm had replaced the one he had previously. The arm could blend in, and look like a normal one, due to holographic cloaking capabilities. For all intensive purposes, the arm was a normal one, albeit one that caused him no small amount of pain. 

When he came to an hour later, he noticed the arm. He also noticed the smirking scientist. His arm, which had been unbound by the kinder scientist as a mistake, shot out and wrapped around Doctor Kratz's neck. Banging the head of the "scientist" into a nearby wall repeatedly until he was unconscious, Veritas let go and then started to free himself from the table. Escape was possible now. 

[James Knight]

"Come this way, if you would." said one of the kinder scientists from the previous day, after Veritas had been rendered unconscious by a blast from a couple of Storm Troopers and had slept for about eight hours. Currently the scientist that was associating with him, and himself were in a luxurious white bedroom that had been provided at the insistence of the scientist to Veritas. "You're going to have a lot of rehabilitation to do, in order to learn how to use your new arm properly, because of what happened. For what it's worth, i'm sorry. Rest assured, Doctor Kratz will not be doing something like this to anyone in the future. He's been...transferred."  The kinder scientist really wished that the not so good doctor had been shot himself, because of the combination of long hours, and impossible workloads, and the injury he had from the blaster bolt to the chest that the doctor had provided. Following the scientist to what appeared to be a room that was made entirely out of white metal, Veritas looked around. If this room contained any surgical tools, or implements of that nature he was going to be most irritated. The kind scientist continued. "We did manage to improve upon some of your designs, and downsize the technology of your hover shoes. You'll be able to fly now, without worry." The scientist offered a new pair of shoes to Veritas that were identical to his old ones, but that had lines of circuitry running across them. "Go ahead, give it a test run. Consider this a reward for not crushing the head of Doctor Kratz like a grape, like you could've."  Doctor Johnson began. Whhile he knew the Prime before him did not like the Empire because of what Doctor Kratz had done, perhaps the situation could be salvaged. 

Flying around the room, using the hover shoes that had been provided to him Veritas allowed himself to relax, and genuinely smile. When he learned the name of the physician who was now with him, Doctor Johnson, he realized that he didn't hate the doctor as much as he hated the other one. There was to be no Patient Assisted Suicide for Doctor Johnson, unlike Doctor Kratz if he tried to experiment on Veritas again. With such in mind, Veritas looked around the room once more. The room was made out of a pure white metal, and appeared to have some sort of holographic emitters inside of it. Possibly the room had been built as a simulation chamber. In any case he did hope that he didn't encounter the not so good doctor again. Apparently there had been details about the room he hadn't noticed before. Crashing into one of the walls, he noticed one of the details was that the walls had some sort of Force Field Technology, that acted as a pseudo-airbag. 

All in all, the technology possessed by the Empire was...impressive. It wasn't easy to impress Veritas, but they had managed to do so with the sheer amount of equipment and gadgetry inside the one room. "So Doctor Johnson, you don't plan on strapping me down to a table, and removing more of my body parts from me, like your snake of an ally, Doctor Kratz?"  Doctor Johnson frowned, and then smiled for a moment. "Oh please, like I'd associate with that snake by choice, if he weren't my superior officer...." Veritas noticed the blaster wound that Doctor Johnson had on his chest.

 "Go ahead, give it a test run. Consider this a reward for not crushing the head of Doctor Kratz like a grape, like you could've." 

"So what am I supposed to do?" asked Veritas. "Well, we managed to put the tractor beam technology you were working on, an improved version of it anyway into the mechanical arm that now replaces your flesh and blood arm you formerly had." 

"What we want you to do is test your new arm. See how much you can lift with the Tractor Beam, test the range limits on it, that sort of thing." 

"So all I have to do is test the arm, and I go free?" asked Veritas, considering his options. 

"Precisely," said the kinder scientist who had been one of the strongest objectors to how Veritas had been treated. 
 
"Actually no," said Doctor Kratz returning with a few Storm Troopers.  "We'll be keeping you, and using you for experiments for all of time!" 

Veritas could only be pushed so far. Like a volcano, his rage erupted from him and he charged at Doctor Kratz who sidestepped his punch. Twisting quickly he'd attempt to perform another punch, only to be grabbed by the Storm Troopers. 

"Perhaps removal of all your limbs will make you willing to work for us." 


There was only so far that the non-consenting "patient" could be pushed by them. Any efforts that had been made by Doctor Johnson were undone. Fortunately for Veritas and very unfortunately for the not so good doctor, they had made a mistake. They'd forgotten to search him when he had been brought in. As a result of this mistake on their part? He still had his blaster on his person, which meant that he could protect himself from what they had planned. Experimentation was not fun, especially when it involved agonizing torture like the pain the doctor had put him through. 

"You're not coming any closer!" shouted Veritas, pointing the blaster towards them and trying to slowly back away. 

"Get him,"  commanded Doctor Kratz to the Storm Troopers. "Cancel that order," said Doctor Johnson. The Storm Troopers were confused as to which of the doctors they were to obey in the situation. For both were high ranking officials, and their orders countered each other. Doctor Johnson knew that one more set of experiments on Veritas would make him hate the Empire, and would probably make him murderous towards them. Doing any further experiments without his consent was not the course of wisdom, in any way, shape or form. It was also foolish to assume that he would just lie down and let them do anything to him. 

"I'm getting out of here,"  stated Veritas, in a no-nonsense tone of voice. 

"You're not going anywhere,"  said Doctor Kratz edging towards Veritas with a shock prod in hand. 

A blast of energy from the blaster that Veritas carried disillusioned Doctor Kratz of his plan to capture Veritas once more, and destroyed the cattle prod he was holding that he intended to use on Veritas. 

"Yes, I am. I'm leaving this facility before you do something worse to me. You've already amputated my arm without consent. You will not be doing anything further..." 

"Now let's not be rash," said Doctor Kratz. 

"Rash? You're the one who made the rash decision to cut off his arm," said Doctor Johnson. "And you nearly turned him on all our superiors. Just think of how bad that would have looked, if you had succeeded? With his intellect, and technological knowhow, he could be a real menace!" 

[James Knight]

"Yes, but he is a PRIME for crying out loud. We can't let one of those just waltz by. Given the regenerative capabilities of the average Prime compared to secondaries,"  said Doctor Kratz not noticing that Veritas was getting closer to him, nor that Veritas held an energy blade in his hands, albeit one that was used for purposes such as training someone who had never wielded one before in their life. The blade was cracked over the head of Doctor Kratz, sending him into unconsciousness. Likely he was going to have a splitting headache when he woke up. Good. He deserved that in the opinion of Veritas, and a lot more for the loss of his arm. The voice of the doctor grated on his last nerve. When combined with the fact that the doctor had experimented on him against his will, it would likely have been surprising if he hadn't done something about it.

"Why did you knock him out?"

“In addition to what you already know, he wouldn’t shut up, and I was not about to let him do what he did to my right arm, to my legs, or remaining organic arm.," said Veritas to Doctor Johnson. "That's still no excuse to hit someone upside the head like that...oh. Your arm. It still hurts. You must be in a lot of pain and the pain must be causing you to lash out," said the Doctor, rationalizing away what Veritas had just done. Of course he really and truly didn't like the Doctor known as "Kratz" either because of his disregard for patients, or his painful operations that he had witnessed him do to Veritas.

Still, he couldn't allow Veritas to simply go free without something being done about the level of anger he had. Level of anger meant that Anger Management could be a useful thing for the young Prime. After all, anger management could help him learn to control his instincts. Like how he could have crushed the doctor's head like a grape when he had a chance, but didn't. It showed that he had some good inside him, but needed help to draw it out. Above all though, they needed to avoid doing things that could set him off. One of those things was apparently approaching him with medical tools of any variety without his consent. Given what Kratz had done to him, it was no surprise that such would be one of his triggers.

"So, if he hadn't experimented on you, and brutally cut/burned off your arm, you wouldn't have hit him upside the head?"

"If he hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here. So, no. I wouldn't have."

"What's your price for letting the rest of us alone, if you go after Doctor Kratz? Knowing what he did to you, I know you probably won't want to let it lie..." said Doctor Johnson. The doctor was afraid for his life, and the lives of the others in the facility. Given that some of the Primes would have reacted in a negative manner to any sort of experimenting, and all Veritas had done so far was knock the not so good doctor who had tortured him out cold, Doctor Johnson was not sure what to expect from him. On the one hand he had shown mercy, by not simply stabbing Doctor Kratz, or shooting him in the head. Perhaps he could be persuaded to show some sort of leniency to everyone here, because they were all unwilling allies of the Doctor. Given that the Doctor was in the good graces of the higher ranking officials of the Empire, there was not much that could be done about him. At least, not from a legal standpoint. Of course, having heard the pained screams and pitiful begging that Veritas had done, Doctor Johnson knew that Veritas was likely not to be very forgiving.

"Tell me what Doctor Kratz had planned for me, first."  A grim look was on the face of Veritas. While he didn't particularly want to know, he needed to make sure none of the doctor's plans were going to come to fruition. He was going to start sleeping with the GF blaster or the Energy Sword in his possession so that capturing him like this wouldn't be possible in the near future.  "Well, he planned on cutting into you more. Attaching circuitry to your nervous system in such a way that you would be little more than a robot, a puppet for us to control, or rather, for him to control." 

The expression on Veritas's face could have scorched the surface of the sun.  "I see. And your part in this?"

"I tried to stop him, but I'm just a low ranking Doctor. He doesn't have to obey me, and could get me sacked, or canned. Unfortunately, he probably will for just untying you like I did, which allowed you to get this far."

Veritas considered that. So like himself, the individual was an unwilling participant in the actions that had befallen him. Today had not been a good day so far. Suppressing the urge to yawn, Veritas looked Doctor Johnson over. He didn't seem like the type to experiment on people against his will.

"As for a price, well I was captured by thirty Storm Troopers. It says something about my ability to defend myself, when I was captured when I was asleep. I would like to improve my chances of preventing such from happening in the future, if he gets any bright ideas.." muttered Veritas angrily. His glare promised a swift demise to Doctor Kratz if he tried it again, or for Johnson if he decided that abducting him was the way to go in the future.

"So you would be willing to let us survive, if we were able to do something about your lack of a security system, or if we provided you the tools you needed in order to protect yourself properly?" asked Doctor Johnson.

"Bingo!" said Veritas, jubilantly. The doctor had gotten what he was saying.

"But if I somehow find myself in this facility again against my will....."

Doctor Johnson nodded at him. "Rest assured, I will be reporting this to one of the higher ranking Imperials. It doesn't give us a good reputation when people such as yourself are experimented on for no good reason whatsoever."

"You know, if you could be convinced to show leniency and mercy to Doctor Kratz, certain incentives might reveal themselves to you," said Doctor Johnson as he played on a hunch. All in all, Veritas seemed like an individual who could be persuaded to show mercy to Doctor Kratz and the others in the facility, even though most of them didn't want to participate in the torture that he had been put through by the not so good doctor. "We've got some devices that we are still working on, but that you might find interesting. Is revenge worth forfeiting the chance to see what the new devices are?" asked Doctor Johnson in a honeyed tone. Veritas paused to consider the words of the doctor. On the one hand, if he forewent his revenge and allowed the doctor what he wanted he'd spare everyone in the facility. Honestly he didn't have a problem with any of them, other than with Doctor Kratz who was beginning to become a grade A Jerk, in the opinion of Veritas. Of course a lot of less than polite names came to mind about the doctor as well, but he wasn't about to say any of them.

"So let me get this straight. If I were to show them mercy like you wish me to, you'd give me access to prototype technology?"  It was tempting to accept the offer that was provided by Doctor Johnson. After all, if Doctor Kratz tried again he could simply deal with the menace of the not so good doctor when such a situation presented itself. Truthfully he didn't need to stop the doctor permanently right away, he could afford to wait a while. And if he waited and reaped the rewards of having advanced technology? He'd be prepared in case he should have late night visitors.

"You're correct. If you're willing to show compassion, mercy and charity to us, we'll provide you access to supplies of the technological variety that might very well blow your mind. What do you say?" asked Doctor Johnson.

There were several reasons he could justify the accepting of the doctor’s offer. One of the ones that came to mind the most strongly was that he shouldn’t hold a grudge against scientists who had done nothing more than follow orders. Of course, if they tried to experiment on him, all bets were off. Still, he was not entirely sold on showing them mercy. Some of them could be like Kratz, and that would be problematic as they had his home address, well not his home but more of where he was currently squatting on file somewhere here. He’d have to torch that file, resolved Veritas before he started to seriously think on everything.

"While I'm not entirely sold, you have me wanting to accept your offer," admitted Veritas. "Assuming the technology I see is as good as your words, and compassion towards someone you don't know, I'll do as you wish." 

Doctor Johnson grinned, a brilliant and kind smile shining on his face. "Excellent. I'll get the forms,"   And to himself he added. 'Perhaps we can salvage this mess Doctor Kratz made, and prevent the Empire from losing him as an ally.' 

[James Knight]

Truthfully, Veritas was beginning to have second thoughts about the situation. While it was true Doctor Johnson was not the same doctor that had experimented on and even dare he say, agonizingly tormented him, Veritas knew that the guy had the same set of employers. What this meant was that he could probably expect at a drop of a hat, he'd be experimented on in much the same way as before. The thought was not pleasant, and caused spasms of mentally induced pain in his one remaining organic arm, his left arm. The mere thought of what was going to happen was enough to cause him pain. If it did happen he was going to be certain he was ready for such a situation. Escape was looking like a more attractive solution every second that he was in the facility. 

No. He was not going to be victimized again. If the Doctor's kindness was an act, he was going to find out before it was too late. The last time he had been under-prepared, and ill-equipped to handle the problems that had presented themselves. However, he was different than he had been before. Not only did he possess an implant inside him that allowed him access to the technology of Tractor Beams without an external control mechanism, but he was smarter than he had been in the past. Sure his options with what he could do with the technology without coming up with techniques were limited. Fortunately he was not the kind of individual to let a minor little hassle like that slow his plans down. 

Flying around the room with the hover shoes that Doctor Johnson had given him, Veritas had to admit something. For the many flaws that the Empire had, they did possess one redeeming factor. They were on the cutting edge of technology. Unlike something he could have made, the shoes didn't malfunction. They hadn't sputtered out, nor did they spontaneously explode, or ignite with flames without warning. The inventions of the group known as the Empire were considered high quality by Veritas, at least enough that he was not going to attack them without provocation. Not that he could, given the number of white armor clad individuals around in the Empire that could present themselves as obstacles to him. Of course there were other reasons, namely that there were other Primes in the service of the Empire. Honestly he was not sure where he stood about them.

[James Knight]

Upon re-entering the room,  Doctor Johnson laid down a massive stack of documents that were the paper work that would need to be filled out. Hidden among some of them were contracts that would legally require Veritas to work for the Empire to pay off his "debt" for the medical procedures he had underwent, but neither of them knew that, because Doctor Kratz had an assistant sneak the paperwork into the documents. One way or another, the menace that was a "Prime" was going to be controlled, and if it couldn't be done through Force? It was going to be done through cunning instead of the brute force methods that Doctor Kratz usually preferred when he experimented on the various Primes. Unfortunately Doctor Johnson didn't know about the paperwork being hidden in the stacks of documents that would inform the Empire about how well, or poorly Veritas considered the medical professionals of the staff as doctors. 

Once the paperwork had been laid out, Veritas started to go over it. The first sheet was a Q and A. 

How has Doctor Kratz treated you? 

Really? That was one of the questions on the Q and A that he was to fill out? Fine. He'd do it, but he wouldn't like it. He'd write in. 

'Doctor Kratz is a shallow, self centered, psychotic, sadistic quack that doesn't deserve his license. He amputated my right arm without my consent and attempted control of me by threatening me with an explosive. It is my honest believe that he doesn't deserve his job as a physician, and should be fired from a Spaceship at your earliest possible convenience'  

After writing that part, he'd breeze through several more of the questions in the paper-work. Each of the questions was easier than the last. Successfully having completed the Q and A, his attention was now focused on the least favorite part of the paperwork that he had to fill out. The forms that needed information like his name, birth-date, Imperial ID # and many other bits of information like that. Blissfully unaware of the trap that was hidden inside the paperwork that would compel him to work for the Empire once he signed it, if he were a man of his word, Veritas continued to sign, and dot the forms, filling in the needed fields.This was beginning to grow tedious, as every bit of paperwork he did, there seemed to be more that kept coming. 

"Finally, done!"  Veritas shouted this euphorically, because he was glad to be done with all of the paper work that he had been doing. Each and every form was a blur, he didn't remember half of what he had filled out. It was his hope he hadn't filled out anything too problematic for himself. It was also his hope that Doctor Kratz get ran over with a Semi Truck in short order, and survive, only to have an arm amputated without anesthetic. While he was willing to let the not so good doctor alone? It didn't stop him from wishing ill off on the doctor at every possible opportunity.

[James Knight]

Doctor Johnson examined the paperwork when Veritas had finished it, and then resisted the urge to face palm. When the Prime read the paperwork the chances are he was going to be in a very bad mood. Something needed to be done, but what could be done? Thinking of the other Primes, and of how Veritas had used an Energy Saber of his own design that was similar to a Lightsaber, an idea began to be hatched by the doctor. Calling in some Storm Troopers he had them get the designs of the Dark Saber, which were then sent to the nearest R and D lab within the facility. After about ten minutes, the replica of the Dark Saber had been crafted. While it had been a rush job, Doctor Johnson was hopeful it would count as a good enough bribe for Veritas to not take things too badly that he now worked for the Empire, because of the paperwork that had been snuck into the forms. 

"About the documents you signed, before I tell you about one you missed in them... I brought you a present." 

A Storm Trooper, clad in the familiar white armor of the Storm Troopers knelt, offering the box that contained the replica of a certain blade to Veritas. Examining the box, Veritas opened it, and pulled out the hilt. When he pulled out the hilt, and turned on the blade, a hiss of energy came out of it at first, and a black blade with a white outline that it hurt to look at formed. A smile was on his face as he swung it. It had a training setting, sure. But it could be adjusted so it could actually do damage. Perhaps his problem of unwanted guests at night could be...remedied now that he actually had something that could do it. 

"As you were saying?" asked Veritas, once he had deactivated the blade and clipped the hilt to his waist. 

"Well, you signed a legally binding agreement that would make you work for the Empire for ten years, please don't kill us." 

Veritas groaned, and then said to the doctor. "I'm not a killer. But it will take me some time to process this. For now I'll have to go home, because I need to brainstorm, to think of the situation and how to get myself out of this mess."