Posts: 312
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From: Enraged Monarch of the Crystal Empire
To: Whoever matched me up with Dead Pool
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You sir or madam are either a son of a whorse or a whorse. I am not gay in the slightest. The allegation of such offends me to say the least. I demand you pay me back the money I spent on your website. Furthermore I demand an apology from you. I also demand you call off the bucking date as I have recently learned that Dead Pool is a psychopath. By the way, I will be paying you a visit and having a 'chat' with you about your actions. Hooking me up with him? I'm not gay. It was a bad idea. You will pay me back every cent, and then some for the mental trauma you've caused.
In short, fix this now!
- King Sombra
Posts: 332
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From: oHarmony Data Management and Accounting
To: King Sombra
We apologize for the mishap, the matching algorythm tends to get confused when we plug in non-humans, particularly submissions that are species of animal. They honestly thought you were a gay furry trying to hide the fact you were a gay furry (we get those apps twice a week) and matched you on those grounds.
Sadly, we can't retract the pick considering the whole process breaks down when we take the balls out of the manatee tank. Try to enjoy the date anyways.
As apologies for the mix-up, included in the attachment is a code: $15 gift card for Victoria Secret.
If you have any further complaints, please send them to 1523 Diablo's Castle Wy., Underverse.
Thank you again for submitting to oHarmony.
![[Image: MUsY55C.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/MUsY55C.jpg)
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Posts: 312
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Joined: Jul 2016
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To: President of OHarmony
From: Enraged Former Emperor of the Crystal Empire
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Subject: You're gonna pay!
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Dear Sir or Madam, a 15 dollar gift card to Victoria's secret is not sufficient repayment for hooking me up with the individual known as "Dead Pool" and so I ask for your location. You and I will meet face to face and unless I am satisfied with the explanation of how you could be this stupid, I will proceed with my plans to erase the information about me "dating dead pool." I will also be making sure you cannot pull this crap again.
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To: Carmelita Sly Cooper
From: Sombra
Subject: Where is it?
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Is there an entrance or portal or rift or magic cave that leads into the Dataverse? If so, where do I find it?
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Posts: 332
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Joined: Oct 2014
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From: oHarmony Data Management and Accounting
To: King Sombra
Good luck, you murderous bastard.
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Posts: 312
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Joined: Jul 2016
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To: President of Oharmony
From: King Sombra
Subject: Choose
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Choose the date and time that I shall skin you alive, you deranged son of a whorse, as well as the location. I am NOT gay. Therefore your insinuation that I am gay is an insult of the highest caliber. Furthermore, I will also NOT be attending the date with Dead Pool, nor will he find out about it by the time I am done with your website.
