Losing face

[Claptrap]

Claptrap scrambled through the gate into Coruscant, whimpering in an even higher pitched voice than usual. The little robot clutched the unconscious body of Smith in his hands with surprising ease, trying his best to disguise the fact that there was only one half of a face on the agent's body. Claptrap's single eye darted around cautiously, fully aware of how suspicious he looked. People turned and stared as he walked past, but so far no one had noticed Smith's face. Claptrap had to get Smith somewhere safe, fast, but could;t exactly go to a hospital with the agent looking how he did. 

In the corner of his eye, Claptrap noticed a pair of stormtroopers walking towards nearby and made a break for a nearby elevator. He dashed inside and slammed on the buttons, closing the door before the noticed him. The little robot's breath heaved as the elevator descended, his CPU trying to process what had happened in the last hour. Claptrap ran through the events again and again in his head, but it seemed to get harder to take in every time. Claptrap's thoughts cleared when the door opened, a '6' appeared above the door appeared and the doors opened to a veritable wasteland that would make Pandora look cosy. 

Clouds of smoke rose in the distance, and gunshots and curses echoed through the air. Claptrap rolled gingerly out of the elevator and summoned his shotgun in case someone tried to hustle him. With Smith held across one shoulder and his shotgun poised at the ready in the other hand Claptrap slowly made his way through the city, if you could call it that. The robot searched for a suitable building to hold Smith in while he recovered and came across what appeared to be a dilapidated hospital. Claptrap nervously stepped inside, hoping that there weren't any hobos or creepy hospital ghosts inside. 

Claptrap wheeled his way through the eerily silent corridors, the sound only broken by the occasional gunshot. In the middle of the hospital, Claptrap found an old, and uncleaned, operating table. Satisfied, Claptrap carefully placed the unconscious agent onto the table and took a good look at the damage. It wasn't a pretty sight, the front left quarter of the agent's head was almost missing and the half destroyed remains of Smith's shade's still hung onto his face. Claptrap had no medical training per se, but he had another idea. Claptrap's disc drive ejected, revealing his orb of omnillium. Claptrap held up the glowing orb, admiring the colours for a moment, before returning to the task at hand. 

"This stuff can grant anything I desire, right?" Claptrap muttered. "Well I desire for my buddy to get better," Claptrap said as he began channeling the omnillium into the unconscious agent.

[Smith]

A problem has been detected in program “smith.agt”. To prevent further damage, the system has been shut down.

Running diagnostics on “smith.agt”.

Progress 0%

…

Progress 15%

Malicious software discovered within personality subroutines: “yukanda.prm”.

Attempting deletion of malicious software.

…

“yukanda.prm” unable to be deleted without significant damage to program “smith.agt”.

Attempting quarantine of malicious software: “yukanda.prm”.

…

Quarantine of “yukanda.prm” successful. “smith.agt” has incurred acceptable loss of data recordings related to malicious program.

Re-initiating diagnostic scan of system.

…

Progress 37%

…

Progress 50%

Damage to structural routines of “smith.agt” discovered. Repair protocol initiation recommended.

Re-initiating diagnostic scan of system.

…

Progress 69%

…

Progress 91%

…

Diagnostics complete. No additional problems discovered within system “smith.agt”.

Repair protocols initiated. Estimated time until completion is approximately two weeks. Program “smith.agt” may now be run in “safe mode” until repairs are complete.

Rebooting system.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As consciousness returned to Smith, confusion washed over him. His last memory before this was of moving towards the prone form of Mister Kanda, eager to convert the man into another iteration of himself. Where once he was surrounded by the white landscape of the Nexus, he was now cast into near total darkness. A dank, dusty smell hung on the air, tinged with the smokey, nauseating scent of human poverty and pollution.

The ex-Agent struggled to push himself into a seated position, the movement sending jolts of pain through his battered body.

“Buddy?” a voice from the darkness queried, high-pitched and desperate. Claptrap... of course. The little robot wheeled itself a little closer to Smith, becoming slightly more visible in the pitch black.

“Claptrap...” Smith replied, his voice strangely slurred to his ears. “W-what ha-ha-ha-happpened?”

The program's repair routines were indeed running, but it seemed the damage to his system was far greater than he had realized. His hand rose to his face, attempting to get a grip on himself. Before his hand could make contact, Claptrap reached out to stop him.

“Uh... I wouldn't do that, pal...” the bot said sadly, “You don't really have a face anymore. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised you're alive at all! You've already got a leg up on all my other friends!”

It was startling just how mercurial the automaton's emotions could be, changing from depression to happiness in the span of a single sentence. Smith couldn't help himself. He chuckled a bit at Claptrap's demeanor and nodded.

“I se-se-se-see... What happen-pened, Claptrap?”

[Claptrap]

Laughter. Not exactly what Claptrap was expecting, but it was a good sign. Probably. The little robot rummaged through the hospital supplies as he addressed Smith, searching for something to bandage up the Agent's face. 

"Well, after that, thing, attacked us and you separated from that kid with the sword and the long hair, it all went to hell. It was like someone released a bandit into a pre-school." As he said this, Claptrap's permanently happy voice tried, and failed, to take on a solemn tone.

"The angry guy and the clown combined, and then the skeleton kind of blasted half of your face off. Then I was fighting the big green guy, and being super brave. I had him on the ropes until he started transforming. He turned into a huge, gross lizard man, and it was super scary, but I wasn't scared, much." The little robot pulled out a roll of old bandages, but they were basically falling apart, so he discarded them.

"Then the clown and the other guy seperated and the angry guy self destructed, which made the clown guy and, so he's the new angry guy now. Then while he starts beating on the lizard guy, the skeleton picks you up, and I'm like 'no one hurts my friends' then I started fighting him, and I was super cool, and he was all like 'I can't do this, you're too strong, if I give you your friend will you spare me?' and I did a super manly laugh, and since I'm so cool and merciful, I agreed to let him live in exchange for you.' 

"Wher-ere are we-e?" Smith slurred, choosing to ignore the robot's flight's of fantasy for the moment. The agent tried to sit up once more, but immediately felt faint so laid back down, frustrated and concerned by this sudden, human weakness. 

"We're in a spooky abandoned hospital, on one of the lower levels of the sci-fi city. I didn't see anyone else in here, but you might want to watch out for ghosts or hobos or something." Claptrap jumped up a little to reach into the bottom of the box, and drew out a mostly intact roll of bandages. 

"Ok buddy, this might sting a little. Just lie back, close your eyes and try to relax. I can sing you a song if you like." Claptrap chirped as he approached the agent with the bandages.

"N-NOO, I-I mea-an, that-t won't be-e necessar-ary." Smith said as he lay back. The little robot rolled off a line of bandages and ripped it in two more easily than he expected, but that did't really matter at the moment. 

"Don't even worry, I've done medical training." Claptrap said as he pulled the bandages over the agent's face. 
"Re-eally?" 
"Well, most of my memory of it has been wiped from my hard drive, but still, I did it!" 

This did nothing to ease the agent's worries, but luckily Claptrap seemed to remember bandaging. 

"Aaaaaand, there we go! Just don't ask me to reattach a limb, or remove a kidney stone." The robot said happily, inspecting his handiwork as he handed Smith a mirror. Just as Claptrap said, only half of the Agent's face was visible, the other half obscured behind a mass of bandages. 

As Smith looked away from the mirror, Claptrap gave him his mostly intact sunglasses. Smith took them grateful and put them on. 

"So, buddy," Claptrap said cheerfully, as always. "What next?"