02-28-2016, 06:35 PM
”And then I went down the somber staircase. It smelled like Namekian ass and Jack Frost's cum. The entire time I descended into the depths of the base, I thought: 'Who the fuck impregnated that dude, or more importantly, how?!' It was disturbing . . .
Aaaaaand, that's the short version of how I got here. There was a much longer version, but Baron decided to preoccupy himself with other activity. Namely, spending our time on Omniverse side-bitches. It's cool though,” he said, taking a hand across one his his buttocks. ” I know I'm still his main hoe.”
Triumpht's response came out through his visage; his brow ridges furrowed, and his mouth opened in a warped shape.
”What, you don't approve of my relationship with Baron?” Deadpool threw his fists to his hip, and hunched over the child. ”Especially when no one even knows who the fuck your mom is.”
He paused; the statement he just made brought out a plethora of questions that he had never thought of prior to now.
“You sure Retane's not your mom, and in actuality, your father is some guy he encountered in Dante's Abyss?”
Was . . . he father? He vaguely remembered the time they spent together, but he did not recall them having intercourse, that was for certain. Maybe blood could also impregnate Namekians; he remembered Retane wounding him. Maybe the emerald, jaded fiend (Insert forty more aliases here) stole some of his blood. Damn sicko. But the mercenary always wanted a son; and though Triumpht was a hideous Namekian, if Deadpool was his father, he would love him just as he would a beautiful baby. Hell, who was he kidding? He hated ugly children, but for the sake of his new baby momma, Retane, he'd try to raise the boy right. It was the least he could do.
Deadpool's eyes glossed over as he stared into the face of his son. ”I-I think I'm your papa.”
“Us Namekians are asexual,” Triumpht retorted. “That means we don't have a specific gender, but in your language we go by the masculine terms.”
”So you guys are like hermaphrodites?” Deadpool quipped, cracking a smirky wrinkle across his mask. ”Or wait, female-to-male transgenders?”
“Maybe you should read a book one day, and enlighten yourself to what an asexual is.”
The mercenary sensed anger behind the Namekian's words. ”Easy man, you gotta work on your sense of humor.”
As Triumpht did everything else, he took Deadpool's words seriously, and nodded. “So, where are we going?”
”Not sure,” Deadpool replied, ”but I left my artifact back at Retane's base, so I'm down for whatever comes my way. . . Including bumps of cocaine, off of old Darkshire prostitutes that are wayyy past their primes. I'm talking eggs nailed to a wall type of sagging, the type that come from years and years of breastfeeding, and probably til the lil' shitters were got potty-trained.”
“You left something at my father's base?” Triumpth asked, surprised.
”Yeah, I didn't have time to explain all of that to you, but I left my artifact there before I snatched you up. If Baron hadn't given me the cold shoulder, there probably would have been a better and more detailed recap for ya.”
“So to Darkshire?”
”Nah, I got a lesson I gotta teach to a bunch of n00bs. It's about not trusting strangers over the internet.”
Earlier, the mercenary had checked his mobile device. His intentions were to troll Sasuke, but when he typed the ninja's name into the search bar a APB popped up. A mass of primes were gathering together in the Nexus, and all for the same purpose—to kill Sasuke, and whatever band of men that accompanied him. The mercenary found it rather odd that so many strangers were willing to meet up. Did they never hear of the Craigslist Killer? One of the repliers was a female; wasn't she afraid of getting raped? No matter, Sasuke was a loose associate—one with THREE artifacts—, even if the Deadpool's actions near the end soured their relationship.
A moment like this could get them back to the path of BFFs, and get him back within arm-length of those artifacts.
Aaaaaand, that's the short version of how I got here. There was a much longer version, but Baron decided to preoccupy himself with other activity. Namely, spending our time on Omniverse side-bitches. It's cool though,” he said, taking a hand across one his his buttocks. ” I know I'm still his main hoe.”
Triumpht's response came out through his visage; his brow ridges furrowed, and his mouth opened in a warped shape.
”What, you don't approve of my relationship with Baron?” Deadpool threw his fists to his hip, and hunched over the child. ”Especially when no one even knows who the fuck your mom is.”
He paused; the statement he just made brought out a plethora of questions that he had never thought of prior to now.
“You sure Retane's not your mom, and in actuality, your father is some guy he encountered in Dante's Abyss?”
Was . . . he father? He vaguely remembered the time they spent together, but he did not recall them having intercourse, that was for certain. Maybe blood could also impregnate Namekians; he remembered Retane wounding him. Maybe the emerald, jaded fiend (Insert forty more aliases here) stole some of his blood. Damn sicko. But the mercenary always wanted a son; and though Triumpht was a hideous Namekian, if Deadpool was his father, he would love him just as he would a beautiful baby. Hell, who was he kidding? He hated ugly children, but for the sake of his new baby momma, Retane, he'd try to raise the boy right. It was the least he could do.
Deadpool's eyes glossed over as he stared into the face of his son. ”I-I think I'm your papa.”
“Us Namekians are asexual,” Triumpht retorted. “That means we don't have a specific gender, but in your language we go by the masculine terms.”
”So you guys are like hermaphrodites?” Deadpool quipped, cracking a smirky wrinkle across his mask. ”Or wait, female-to-male transgenders?”
“Maybe you should read a book one day, and enlighten yourself to what an asexual is.”
The mercenary sensed anger behind the Namekian's words. ”Easy man, you gotta work on your sense of humor.”
As Triumpht did everything else, he took Deadpool's words seriously, and nodded. “So, where are we going?”
”Not sure,” Deadpool replied, ”but I left my artifact back at Retane's base, so I'm down for whatever comes my way. . . Including bumps of cocaine, off of old Darkshire prostitutes that are wayyy past their primes. I'm talking eggs nailed to a wall type of sagging, the type that come from years and years of breastfeeding, and probably til the lil' shitters were got potty-trained.”
“You left something at my father's base?” Triumpth asked, surprised.
”Yeah, I didn't have time to explain all of that to you, but I left my artifact there before I snatched you up. If Baron hadn't given me the cold shoulder, there probably would have been a better and more detailed recap for ya.”
“So to Darkshire?”
”Nah, I got a lesson I gotta teach to a bunch of n00bs. It's about not trusting strangers over the internet.”
Earlier, the mercenary had checked his mobile device. His intentions were to troll Sasuke, but when he typed the ninja's name into the search bar a APB popped up. A mass of primes were gathering together in the Nexus, and all for the same purpose—to kill Sasuke, and whatever band of men that accompanied him. The mercenary found it rather odd that so many strangers were willing to meet up. Did they never hear of the Craigslist Killer? One of the repliers was a female; wasn't she afraid of getting raped? No matter, Sasuke was a loose associate—one with THREE artifacts—, even if the Deadpool's actions near the end soured their relationship.
A moment like this could get them back to the path of BFFs, and get him back within arm-length of those artifacts.
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![[Image: Deadpool_Funny.png]](http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q218/Aerogfx/sigs/Deadpool_Funny.png)
Dante's Abyss Placings
2015 - 4th
2015 - 4th
2016 - 2nd
2017 - 4th
PVP Combat Record
(One-on-One)
3W - 0L - 0D
3W - 0L - 0D
(TAG-TEAM)
1W - 1L - 0D
[/float]![[Image: Deadpool_Funny.png]](http://s137.photobucket.com/user/Aerogfx/media/sigs/Deadpool_Funny.png.html)