I want people to criticize my portrayal of Jak

[Jak Mar]

They say criticizing only helps the writer work on things that need to be worked on.

-Do i need to work on more detail?
-Do i need a saga that helps Jak sort out his "sides" as his one being?

[Jade Harley]

First question: Yes! Everyone can always use more detail, or at least some trimming and adjusting. You tend to stick to what's going on in your character's head I've noticed, if you would like I could dig up examples and advice on how to improve character vs. environment?

Second question: A saga might help, but it would be sort of hard to keep writing all alone without anything to react to or someone for your character to interact with. If you'd like I could write with you once this whole Graveyard event is finished, either as an NPC Secondary or whatever you'd like. Not Jade or Crowley, but I could definitely invent a fun secondary. Either way, you'll need someone to bounce ideas off of, and I'm more than willing to be that person! :-)

[Jak Mar]

First question to jade: Thanks! I'd really appreciate it!

Second question: After graveyard is done, i'd love someone to write with. It would be easier to think of how Jak would react to the situation at hand.

[Jack Frost]

1.) Exactly what jade said.

2.) Jak literally had 2 seperate video games going into detail about both sides of himself; 2 different saga's sound like a good idea, you can isolate each personality and give them definition