No Picnic

[Bobby Worthing]

The group tentatively rolled through the portal, and the window of green that previously lay in front of them expanded into an entire world. Rolling grasslands with trees, dirt lanes and various stone structures in varying states of repair... But rather than the visual, what caught Bobby's attention - and imagination - was the sounds. The gentle rustling of the leaves, the cawing of birds overhead, the subtle hints of wildlife scurrying around in the bushes. The guards on this side of the portal were clearly bemused by the sight of the new arrivals, chortling and elbowing each other in the ribs. None of the Cuddle Crew cared though, they were too busy looking ahead at what lay before them. The usually chatty and exuberant group were lost for words; it wasn't home, but in some bizzarre way it felt like it. There was familiarity, no longer the cold, harsh and sterile atmosphere of the Nexus. Now with enough stimuli to leave Bobby... Well, stimulated, the pace at which the group raced towards the portal was not to be found here. They slowly cruised down the lane, taking in every inch of their surroundings and processing them with child-like wonder.

"Um, Bobby? I was just wondering, are you, like, hungry or anything?"

"Nope Cuddles, for some reason I can't say I am, why?"

"Because I don't have a tummy, but I think my mitochondria might be."

Cuddles leaned backwards and whispered to Reginald.

"The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."

Unable to feign enthusiasm at his companion, Reginald merely sighed.

"Indubitably."

"And you Sylvester, do you have a hungry?"

Sylvester just stared and smiled.

"Ah, ok. Well, I don't have to have noms, just you guys. We don't even have to find a good spot, pretty much anywhere is a good spot! Well, except the path, but, you know, it's fields all around. Shall we park up?"

"But Sir, we don't have any picnic blankies. Alas, our quest for sustenance and fun times is at an impasse!"

"But Sir Reginald, can't I just, like, summon one?"

"Well, I suppose, I don't see why not, but you don't have to go to such lengths for me, good sir!"

"Nonsense! Do you have a hungry, Reginald?"

"Well, without wishing to appear like an imposition, my tumbly does have a bit of a grumbly, master."

"It's settled then. We're having a picnic, and don't you worry about me, my gentlemanly gentleman-friend!"

As they veered from the path, the wheels struggled with the grass. Hopping off and lifting the front, the back wheels managed to roll forward as Mr. Worthing headed a litle further, his plushies (and rock) clambering off before they fell off due to the tilting. SLowly putting it on his side, Bobby then plopped himself down on his backside in a manner which certainly looked like it would hurt, and went into 'thinky time' mode, the prismatic globe once more materialising in front of him.

"Picnic, picnic, tra lala laaaa!"

Reginald immediately placed a paw in front of Cuddles' mouth in an effort to silence him.

"Do hush, my chlorophylled comrade, Master is trying to concentrate!"

"Crncrntrrt, crncrntrrt, frllrlrlr!"

It was still a good couple of minutes before the blnkie came into being, despite it's comparatively simple nature. It was patchwork with rounded edges, variou squares of felt and padding sewn together with an almost plastic-feeling strip of cloth running around the outside and hiding the ends.

"Woooh!"

Having been made aware the summoning was complete, Worthing opened his eyes with a smile a mile wide.

"So, any requests?"

"Double choc chip cookies with a glass of milk please, sir! Semi skimmed. I'm trying not to increase my current girth."

"Sunlight!"

Everyone just turned to Cuddles, even Sylvester. Nobody said anything, but they gaving judging glances. Cuddles, naturally, did'nt realise either his own idiocy or the nature of the attention he was receiving.

"Nom nom sunlight. Nom."

Without Sylvester giving any input himself, on the account that he's a friggin rock, Bobby got to work on Reginald's order.

"I thought bears were carnivores though?"

"Well Cuddles, I always found it wasteful to eat something as useful as a car. Some poor soul may be unable to take a trip to the beach if I eat someone's primary mode of transport, and that just isn't cricket."

"I do hope I get some sunlight."

"Uh, Cuddles, you do realise you're getting some right now, right?"

"Oh Reginald, you so silly! I'm not even by a window!"

"Oh... Oh dear."

"I know, right?"

"That's not what I meant, good sir... You seem to lack a basic grasp of what sunlight actually is."

"Well if you're such a smarty-pants.. Well, not pants, a smarty-top-hat, what is it?"

"Well, you see the Sun?"

"Yuppers!"

"And you see how there's light coming from it?"

"Uh huh!"

"That is called sunlight, and it is what you eat."

"But there's no window."

"You... I... Ugh. Sometimes I don't know why I bother."

"Awww, you're not a bother, stop being so mean to yourself!"

Thankfully, Reginald was put out of his misery by the sudden appearance of a plate of cookies, double choc chip as ordered, and a glass of milk. As he took a sip, there was a sitsfied gasp from between his felt fangs.

"Indubitably semi-skimmed! Thank you, kind sir. You are a gentleman and a scholar."

"No worries Reginald, it is my pleasure."

"And my sunlight?"

Reginald and Bobby just looked at each other, whilst Sylvester rolled upside down in exasperation.

"I can't create a new sun, Cuddles, because everyone will get really bad sunburn and then they'll be mad at me."

It was at this point that Reginald, realising truth had no effect on his dim-witted rival.

"But the orb gave off some light, it's... Like a window! Yes, a window to a world with al the things people can summon, and sunlight came through that window! Oh, Bobby is such a clever and generous chap!"

"Oh. YAAAAY!"

Despite the fact absolutely nothing has changed, Cuddles was hyperactively hopping circles around the blankie without a care in the world.

Little did any of them know, however, that life in Camelot was no picnic.