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+--- Thread: Use promo code: Gang warfare for 25% off! [NPC] (/showthread.php?tid=7373)
Use promo code: Gang warfare for 25% off! [NPC] - Claptrap - 05-18-2018
Peter Pocket Pocket reached the door of his T5 gang house, his pocket pockets stuffed full of groceries.
“It's me, open up!” He shouted as he kicked the sturdy metal door of the repurposed storage unit. The door rolled up slightly, and an eye peaked out from under the crack.
“Password?” Came a deep voice from within the unit.
“You're looking right at me, Jimbo, I don't need to give the password.” Pete said for what must have been the hundredth time.
“You could be a shape shifter.”
“For fu-... Pocket pockets forever, Senzu beans for never!” The gang leader cried unenthusiastically.
“Again, this time with feeling!” The voice replied.
“Jimbo!”
“Okay, okay. I'm just trying to have fun with it, y’know?” Jimbo said as he rolled up the unit door.
“Thank you, Jimbo, I appreciate it, but sometimes I just want to get inside.” Pete said as he walked past the nearly 8 foot tall half-ogre, a trait which earned him the name ‘Big Jimbo’. The other two members of the pocket pocket pickpockets sat at the far end of the unit, playing Dataverse video games on their small TV. To the left was skeevy Kevin, the pickpockets’ hacker who Pete swore up and down was just a giant rat who wore clothes, despite everyone telling him the contrary. Pete wanted to believe that Kevin was a real person, not an oversized rodent, but one look at his beady eyes and oversized front teeth and he knew the truth.
To the right was Azgaroth the indomitable, or Az for short, a reptilian alien who was a ruthless, bloodthirsty warlord at the head of a galaxy crushing armada, or so he says, before discovering that oxygen made him incredibly stoned without any noticeable side effects. It was too hard to tell when he was telling the truth, and when he was describing a vivid hallucination, so the other gangsters took his story with a grain of salt.
“Az. AZ! Help me out, dude, I'm downed!” Kevin screeched at the alien through his headset, despite the fact that they were sitting right next to each other.
“Dude, we’re all downed by life. We just gotta climb our way back up, y’know?” Azgaroth said, adjusting his grip on the controller as he tried not to tear it to pieces with his claws.
“That wasn't even stoner deep, I could read that shit in the blurb of a kids book!” Kevin hissed before slamming his controller to the ground, smashing it apart. “SHIT, they got me!"
Pete rolled his eyes and dumped his groceries, mostly non-perishables which could be cooked in their simple microwave, as Kevin struggled out of his beanbag to grab a new controller, ignoring Az gunning down everyone he saw in whatever shooter they got this month. Pete swore those two spent more money on video games than everything else combined. Jimbo shut the unit door, plunging the already dim unit into darkness, lit only by the glow of the TV, and by the high voltage floodlight illuminated a framed picture of a pocket pocket.
“The light broken again?” Pete asked as he took a sip of warm soda, motioning to the single lamp in the far corner of the room. Jimbo nodded, shooting a glance at the pair playing video games.
“Call me paranoid, but I think Kevin keeps breaking it on purpose.” The half-ogre said, rubbing his chin as he squinted suspiciously at the hacker.
“He probably is. Rats love the dark.” Pete said, dumping his disposable cup in their tiny wastepaper bin.
“Pete, Kevin isn-”
“You’ll see it one day! Then who’ll be laughing, huh? No one, because this knowledge is both a blessing and a curse.” The gang leader said, receiving an uncomfortable look from Jimbo.
“So, hear anything interesting on the street?” Jimbo said, trying to change the subject.
“I did, actually.” Pete said, a smug look crossing his face. “Got word of some Senzu Bean Bandits that are gonna be passing through here tonight. Got a big ambush planned, if you guys are up for it.”
“Up for it? Hahaha, we’re always ready to bust some SBB skulls.” Big Jimbo boomed, laughing heartily.
“Did someone mention Senzu Bean Bandits?” Kevin said, he and Az taking off their headsets to listen. “You know we’ll be there.”
“Sweet.” Pete said. “They're gonna be passing under the bridge just south of here, apparently they're going to be doing a bean deal.”
At the mention of a bean deal, gasps of shock and disgust came from the other pickpockets. Kevin even retched as he held back vomit.
“I know, I know, that's why we're gonna stop it. We'll move into position in a few hours. But until then, move over, I wanna play.”