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+--- Thread: Joining: Asura (/showthread.php?tid=7341)
Joining: Asura - Asura - 05-13-2018
CHARACTER NAME: Asura
CHARACTER SOURCE: Asura's Wrath
CHARACTER HISTORY:
Asura, a Demigod who despises his title. A man who spits in the face of the concept of gods, and praying. A father that just wants the best for his family. Some of his happiest memories are with his wife, Durga, and daughter, Mithra. Shame he couldn't keep making them, as he was framed for murder by his allies, the rest of the 8 Guardian Generals of which he was one, had his wife murdered, and his daughter kidnapped. Then, just to rub salt in the wound, he was murdered and dropped from who knows how high, after he swore his vengeance.
This physical embodiment of wrath came back 12,000 years later, spurred on by a mysterious Golden Spider, his memories fractured, the only thing guiding him being a searing rage he could not yet explain. As he explored the broken world, he quickly found the first of one of his betrayers, Wyzen, of the newly rebranded Seven Dieties. Asura defeated Wyzen, and quickly regained his memories in the fight. Afterwords he was slain by his Brother in Law, Yasha, another of the Seven Dieties.
After another 700 years, he returned, and slowly forged a bond with a girl who had an eery resemblance to his daughter Mithra. Her life was short lived, as she was murdered by the Seven Deities, alongside her entire village. It turns out that the Seven Deities get their power by converting human souls, through his daughter's power. It physically hurt her, and she was suffering. Upon the girl's death, Asura learned his power was too great for his body, as he went on a horrible rampage, destroying all Gohma and Demi-Gods.
Ironically, it was Yasha, who was brought to his senses by seeing Asura's great strength, brought Asura to his. Together, the two defeated Deus, the final of the Seven Deities at this stage. And then they defeated Vlitra, the will of the planet, and the source of Gohma. He had won.
Or so he thought. There was one loose thread. The Golden Spider. It turned out, he was the cause of the 12,000 years of suffering. He used Mithra as a Vessel, and introduced himself as Chakravartin, the God that created Gaea, and the cause of the world's suffering. All of it was a test, to find his successor. And his successor, was to be Asura. Naturally, Asura refused, and attempted to do battle with Chakravartin. He didn't stand a chance. His rage was too wild, his power to chaotic, as it threatened to tear him apart. Hee and Yasha were forced to retreat, and in doing so Asura was knocked unconscious.
Yasha was the first to come too, and he did something unexpected. He sacrificed himself to give Asura a means to control his power. The greatest creation of the Seven Deities, the Mantra Reactor. The two had a heated battle, Yasha feigning to want to prove he was better than Asura, so that his body could acclimate. It was only when Yasha knew Asura could now control his power, did he allow himself to die, as Asura gave him a fist bump, honoring his Brother in Law, and Brother in Arms. hi
Yasha's sacrifice given, Asura did battle with Chakravartin once more, ascending to his greatest form. Asura, the Destructor. It was a battle of Creation, versus Destruction. God versus Man. Father of All, versus Father of One. Asura came close to death many times over, but in the end, his will, and his Wrath, won the day, and saved Mithra. Chakravartin was beaten, and as he was going to finish the god off, Mithra gave him a warning, that if he killed Chakravartin, he too, would Perish.
The choice was simple. "But... You would still live." That was all he cared about. His own life meant nothing, before the happiness and survival of his own daughter. He landed the final blow, finally understanding the true meaning of his wrath, and happily accepted the end of his life. For his was a life well lived... And in the end, he saw his daughter smile one last time. Little did he know... His story was not yet over. Another has now seen fit to extend his life, in another world. And with his life returning, so too, has his Wrath.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION:
![[Image: latest?cb=20160314223943]](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/vsbattles/images/5/52/Asura.png/revision/latest?cb=20160314223943)
Roughly 6'5".
STATS:
ATK: 3
DEF: 4
SPD: 1
TEC: 2
STARTING PROFICIENCIES: Physical Strength, 1000. Ranged Proficiency, 1000.
STARTING POWERS: Super Speed, 1000. Super Jumping, Basic. 300 Master Acrobat, 400.
STARTING MOVES: Mantra Burst, 300: Asura's rage reaches a boiling point, and he unleashes a Mantra fueled strike upon a downed opponent. While this gives him massive damage output for 1-2 strikes, his limbs overheat and must be allowed to cool down afterwords, lest he risk them being destroyed. This cooldown takes a solid 15 seconds. His body just can't handle as much as it used to. Should he continue to attack normally during this cooldown, his strikes are noticeably weakened, and his limbs are more brittle than normal. Strike his limbs during this time, and you might just get one of his arms off him for your troubles.
Mantra Blasts, 600. Asura can fire Mantra from his body in a few different manners. The first is as a rapid fire projectile, which he creates by punching the air. These projectiles move at the speed of bullet, and are the same size as his fist to his forearm. These blasts vanish after 25 meters. He can also eject them as a short range shotgun type blast, however he can not rapid fire this version, due toe larger amount of Mantra he's ejecting at once. This fires 6 shots that evaporate roughly 5 meters away from him. It can only be used every 2-3 seconds.
I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct.
Where did you find us?
My Google-Fu is strong.
RE: Joining: Asura - Dane Regan - 05-13-2018
(05-13-2018, 01:42 AM)Asura Wrote: Demigod Body, 300: As a Demigod, Asura's body is a mechanical lethal force. It has no special weapons, other than the channeling of Mantra. he can channel Mantra to increase the power of his blows, and prefers close combat with his fists. He'll claw at you, punch you, headbutt you, if he feels he needs to do it, he will. He has had extensive training in martial arts, and is not afraid to kick your ass.
Mantra Blasts, 600. Asura can fire Mantra from his body in a few different manners. The first is as a rapid fire projectile, which he creates by punching the air. These projectiles move fast, and are the same size as his fist to his forearm, however he can increase the size to be two times as large, at the cost of some speed. Luckily this increases the strength a small bit. These blasts vanish after 25 meters. He can also eject them as a short range shotgun type blast, however he can not rapid fire this version, nor can he increase the size. This fires 6 shots that evaporate roughly 1 foot away from him.
Good job on your backstory and the rest of your joining app. I just have a few questions/comments about your moves.
Demigod Body: This doesn't require a move. Physical Strength proficiency allows you to hit and punch people effectively and make all types of melee attacks you described. If you want to be able to punch harder, you could add a drawback. This could be fatigue (maybe channelling his mantra is more tiring than punching normally) or a charge time (maybe he needs to spend some time to channel his mantra into his fist before he punches someone). Or, it could be something more general, such as making his attacks a bit slower.
Mantra Blasts: This needs to be a little bit more specific. Furthermore, it would also cost 900 OM. 300 for the normal blasts. 300 for making them larger. 300 for the shotgun version.
"These projectiles move fast"
How fast exactly? Arrow speed? Bullet speed? Something else?
"at the cost of some speed"
How much does it reduce the speed? Does it half it? Or decrease it even more?
"however he can not rapid fire this version"
What stops him from doing that? I assume for the normal version he can shoot them as often as he can punch, how often can he fire the shotgun-like version? Is there more wind-up behind it, or can he only use it once every few seconds?
"that evaporate roughly 1 foot away"
That's a fairly short range. There's no problem with it, but you might want to make it a bit higher. 1ft probably isn't even as long as his forearm.
RE: Joining: Asura - Asura - 05-13-2018
I took your questions and thoughts into consideration. I have scrapped "Demigod Body" entirely and replaced it with "Mantra Burst", deleted the size changing of the Mantra Blasts, and increased the range of the shotgun. I intend on imposing a 2-3 second delay inbetween shotgun blasts, now that I have better explained why he cannot rapid fire similar to to his other blasts. I hope this has improved something I personally wasn't certain of myself, thank you for the input and your time.
RE: Joining: Asura - Dane Regan - 05-14-2018
(05-13-2018, 01:42 AM)Asura Wrote: Mantra Burst, 300: Asura's rage reaches a boiling point, and he unleashes a Mantra fueled strike upon a downed opponent. While this gives him massive damage output for 1-2 strikes, his limbs overheat and must be allowed to cool down afterwords, lest he risk them being destroyed. This cooldown takes a solid 30 seconds, having been downgraded from its old 10. His body just can't handle as much as it used to.
Mantra Blasts, 600. Asura can fire Mantra from his body in a few different manners. The first is as a rapid fire projectile, which he creates by punching the air. These projectiles move at the speed of bullet, and are the same size as his fist to his forearm. These blasts vanish after 25 meters. He can also eject them as a short range shotgun type blast, however he can not rapid fire this version, nor can he increase the size, due toe larger amount of Mantra he's ejecting at once. This fires 6 shots that evaporate roughly 5 meters away from him. It can only be used every 2-3 seconds.
Mantra Burst: When you say that his limbs have to cool down, does this prevent him from punching stuff normally in this time (or maybe just weaken them), or does it just prevent him from using Mantra Burst? If you're choosing the former, you may want to decrease the cooldown to about 10 seconds (it's a pretty good drawback, so would still let you punch super strong). If you're just putting the move on cooldown, you'll probably want to specify that it's very tiring as well, since cooldowns for individual moves aren't considered as much of a drawback for balance purposes (unlike games, you can theoretically have an unlimited number of moves, so cooldowns matter a lot less).
Mantra Blasts: This is good, but you might want to remove the part I bolded (since it's no longer relevant after you removed the size-change thing from before).
RE: Joining: Asura - Asura - 05-14-2018
(05-14-2018, 11:53 AM)Dane Regan Wrote:(05-13-2018, 01:42 AM)Asura Wrote: Mantra Burst, 300: Asura's rage reaches a boiling point, and he unleashes a Mantra fueled strike upon a downed opponent. While this gives him massive damage output for 1-2 strikes, his limbs overheat and must be allowed to cool down afterwords, lest he risk them being destroyed. This cooldown takes a solid 30 seconds, having been downgraded from its old 10. His body just can't handle as much as it used to.
Mantra Blasts, 600. Asura can fire Mantra from his body in a few different manners. The first is as a rapid fire projectile, which he creates by punching the air. These projectiles move at the speed of bullet, and are the same size as his fist to his forearm. These blasts vanish after 25 meters. He can also eject them as a short range shotgun type blast, however he can not rapid fire this version, nor can he increase the size, due toe larger amount of Mantra he's ejecting at once. This fires 6 shots that evaporate roughly 5 meters away from him. It can only be used every 2-3 seconds.
Mantra Burst: When you say that his limbs have to cool down, does this prevent him from punching stuff normally in this time (or maybe just weaken them), or does it just prevent him from using Mantra Burst? If you're choosing the former, you may want to decrease the cooldown to about 10 seconds (it's a pretty good drawback, so would still let you punch super strong). If you're just putting the move on cooldown, you'll probably want to specify that it's very tiring as well, since cooldowns for individual moves aren't considered as much of a drawback for balance purposes (unlike games, you can theoretically have an unlimited number of moves, so cooldowns matter a lot less).
Mantra Blasts: This is good, but you might want to remove the part I bolded (since it's no longer relevant after you removed the size-change thing from before).
Initially I was going with the latter, simply because of old habits from other places kicking in. Now, I've decided to go with more of a middle ground, one that I feel makes logical sense as its his physical limbs that need to cool off, similar to when you shoot some guns too fast in real life. Also, can't believe I missed that little detail, thanks lol.
RE: Joining: Asura - Dane Regan - 05-14-2018
(05-13-2018, 01:42 AM)Asura Wrote: Mantra Burst (300, Physical): Asura's rage reaches a boiling point, and he unleashes a Mantra fueled strike upon a downed opponent. While this gives him massive damage output for 1-2 strikes, his limbs overheat and must be allowed to cool down afterwords, lest he risk them being destroyed. This cooldown takes a solid 15 seconds. His body just can't handle as much as it used to. Should he continue to attack normally during this cooldown, his strikes are noticeably weakened, and his limbs are more brittle than normal. Strike his limbs during this time, and you might just get one of his arms off him for your troubles.
Mantra Blasts (600, Ranged): Asura can fire Mantra from his body in a few different manners. The first is as a rapid fire projectile, which he creates by punching the air. These projectiles move at the speed of bullet, and are the same size as his fist to his forearm. These blasts vanish after 25 meters. He can also eject them as a short range shotgun type blast, however he can not rapid fire this version, due toe larger amount of Mantra he's ejecting at once. This fires 6 shots that evaporate roughly 5 meters away from him. It can only be used every 2-3 seconds.
As someone who writes his characters losing his arms often in fights (it's my signature move), I would strongly advise you to... uuuh... not do that
Also, you have 4 DEF. Your body is naturally as tough as armour, so hacking off an arm would probably be hard even in a weakened state. I'd be vaguer and just say it makes his arms more vulnerable to damage. Outside of that, it is a pretty solid move and I see no problems with it. So, if you decide you want to make it less self-punishing at a later date, feel free to submit it to move approval with changes. Or in this thread, if you want to decide to change it now (I'll leave it open for a few days or so).
Lastly, one little thing I missed out (it doesn't matter as much here since it's obvious), but we always write the required proficiencies/powers with the moves - at least when getting them approved. So Mantra Burst would need Physical Strength, and Mantra Blasts would need Ranged Proficiency. I've edited them into the quote at the top for you, don't feel the need to edit your joining post to include them.
Anyway, you're approved! Wellcome to the Omniverse. I'll get someone to activate your account, so you should be able to post normally and see the chatbox soon-ish.
Here is your roster:
Name: Asura
Spent OM: 4600
Consumed OM (0): (for consumed items or OM permanently lost from respecs, etc)
Proficiencies (2000): Physical Strength (1000), Ranged Proficiency (1000)
Powers (1700/8000): Super Speed (1000), Super Jumping - Basic (300), Master Acrobat (400)
Moves (900): Mantra Burst (300), Mantra Blasts (600)
Super Moves (0):
Transformations (0):
Assists (0):
Items (0):
Artefacts: None
Bases (0):
Unlocks (0):
Base stats:
ATK: 3
DEF: 4
SPD: 1
TEC: 2
Please make a new thread in the Roster forum with the name of your character as the title and copy and paste the above into the first post. It is also highly recommended that you make more posts within your own roster that detail any extra information about your character that you wish to include for the benefit of others. Any future purchases can be made in your log, here. Directions for making purchases/deductions can be found here.
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Don’t forget to check out this thread to learn what to do when you’ve been approved.
Thank you for joining the Omniverse, we hope you enjoy your stay!