(06-02-2017, 01:45 PM)Mark Wrote: Welcome to the Omniverse!

So for your history, it all looks good. This might be obvious already but I do have to point out that you start in the Nexus regardless, so if you want this to be a little teaser into what you plan to do that's perfectly fine. Just so that you know you can't immediately post in Coruscant.

High-Speed Kick Combo: Strictly speaking, you don't need a move to pull off a combo like this. If you want to keep it as a move so that it's stronger than regular punching and kicking would be that's also fine, just letting you know. It's approvable as-is.

Coiled Tentacle Cannon: Roughly how damaging is this (as strong as a punch, like being hit with a bat, etc?) How fast are the tentacles launched, roughly? Does the charge-up require significant concentration (could she take a hit, dodge,  and/or parry and keep charging, etc.)? Can this be used simultaneously with another move? How tiring is this to perform?

Balled Water: How long is the cast time on this? You've listed Ranged Materialize; does that mean she can form the ball far away from herself, and if so how far? Can it be cast while moving? When you say "has to concentrate hardly", do you mean like she barely has to focus or she has to focus quite hard? How draining is this on her stamina? Can this be used in tandem with other moves?

(06-01-2017, 10:51 AM)Abyss Wrote: Coiled Tentacle Cannon (600 OM) - Requires Ranged Proficiency, Elasticity
Abyss coils back both of her mechanical tentacles and starts to charge them up, before launching them as fast as and like launching a cannon, at full power at her opponent. While the attack doesn't require a lot of focus, Abyss has to be stationary to launch the tentacles, though she doesn't need to be on the ground to use it and she can take a hit and dodge while charging (Though she cannot parry while charging), and while the attack is as powerful enough as a bat going at 90 MPH, she has to charge up her tentacles for 5 seconds before launching the attack. Abyss can choose to launch one tentacle at a time to keep one tentacle available to use simultaneously with any of her other techniques, or she can launch both tentacles at once to deal twice as much damage at the opponent, but the attack would push back Abyss by 10 feet as recoil. The tentacles can reach up to 35 feet before falling down, and move as fast as a bullet.

Quote:Balled Water (300 OM) - Requires Ranged Proficiency, Ranged Materialize Proficiency
Abyss creates a small ball made of scalding hot water by dragging moisture from the air and forming it into a ball-like shape 10 feet away from herself, before launching the ball at the opponent at 50 MPH. The water ball takes around 3 seconds to form is around 5 inches in diameter, and on contact with an opponent it bursts, hurting the opponent with scalding water. While Abyss can move while creating the ball of water, she hardly has to focus to create the ball of water, creating the ball of water drains her stamina a bit with every use, and the balled water can only go 50 feet before dissipating back into air. Abyss cannot use this move in tandem with her Hi-Speed Kick Combo, but she can use it in tandem with one of her Coiled Tentacles, but this makes her pretty tired after using the technique, making it so that Abyss needs a minute of rest after combining the Balled Water with a Coiled Tentacle.