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+--- Thread: Loaf of Bread, Gallon of Milk, Stick of Butter (/showthread.php?tid=5770)
Loaf of Bread, Gallon of Milk, Stick of Butter - Tearen Wover - 03-10-2017
My arms are itchy. God, why are they so itchy. I can't seem to think straight. Did I leave the light in the bathroom on? It feels like there are three of me. My body can't decide what it wants to do. Was I breathing properly? Flip over.
Flip over again.
Fuckin' itchy ass arms. Why are my legs yelling so loud at my neck? Nobody is getting along. Feel like I'm losing control.
I swear to god I'd better feel better in the morning. Behemoth needs me to...
The neighbors better take that damn dog out to piss before I mow them down. Christ.
9 gauge wire was the only solution here. After they climbed up onto the plateau, the convict needed to take his clothes off. The harsh light from above scattered reflections of all kinds on his green suit.
Shit, what did Behemoth need? Something like with...groceries. Groceries. Loaf of Bread, Gallon of Milk, Stick of Butter. That can't be fucking right. Loaf of Bread, Gallon of Milk, Stick of Butter. Easy stuff. The pharmacy would actually probably have it in their cooler section. Modern convenience at its best.
Anyway, that...oh my god that fucking dog needs to stop barking right now. Should I run to the bathroom real quick? Ugh. My legs are still causing a huge ruckus, and I need to go to the grocery store pharmacy. Don't want to get Behemoth all pissy. Loaf of Milk, Stick of Bread, Gallon of Butter. Alright. Better get going.
Damn it's dusty up in this desert. Luckily my bike is nearby. I kick the old bitch into gear and take off down the road. The Gallon Space Elevator can be seen shimmering up into the midday sky. It's so pretty to see stuff like this. The desert whizzes by me on either side of the road. Red circles on wooden posts are marked every couple hundred feet so people can keep track of where their dogs are. Luckily I don't have a stupid dog so I blast on past...though apparently my larynx is trying to lead a rebellion against my brain. What an asshole. Loaf of Butter, Stick of Milk, Gallon of Bread.
Finally the pharmacy comes into view. You can recognize it because of the fact that it's made out of all this huge black metal spike stuff. A lizard woman with an incredibly long neck comes and takes my bike to park for me. The valet service is so worth it, even though the hospital doesn't validate parking if you use it. That's fine. I'm only going to be visiting Behemoth for a little while. I walk into the pharmacy, brushing past all of the foliage in the way. They really need to go easy on the planters; it's like a jungle in here. The convict in the green suit is waiting for me at the front desk, petting his tiger friend.
That's kind of inappropriate. Oh great, my legs are siding with my larynx.
"Hi Millie," says the green-suited convict. He has dark skin and pale hair. A glowing blue monocle is embedded on his right eye. "...what brings you here today?"
"Just getting some groceries for Behemoth. Where's the cooler section?"
"Oh, we moved that to the back of the building. You'll have to go through the basement." the convict says. His tiger stripes flash back and forth between blue and orange. I scoff.
"Great, and here I thought this was gonna be easy."
I shove off from the countertop, itching my arm absentmindedly. The door to the basement is off to the left, behind a small grove of palm trees. I open the heavy door and descend the cool sandstone steps. There's a stone balustrade off to my left, and beyond it, a dark and stormy sea. If you squint you can just make out the Night Giants doing their daily migration to stay out of the sun. Each one is over three hundred feet tall, all black shaggy skin and gleaming yellow eyes. Distant thunder echoes over the black, glistening water as Edwin, my manservant, approaches.
"Millie, it's good that you're here. You need to attend to your royal duties at the chocolate factory." the sniveling butler says, his large black wings flaring out slightly. I sigh and adjust my flowing white dress. I remember the first time I came down here and Edwin gave me the royal tour. It had been a thundery night, just like this one. Angels had descended down into the colosseum, each one blinding white and full of thunder. We walk further into the crumbling architecture, once-great vaulted windows and columns now falling to pieces. Through the yellowed, dust-covered windows I can see that hateful, dark city, down in the orange void. A single winding line of black highway zig-zags through the sunset air down into the black walls. I can see the crawling shapes of the vampire and gargoyles from here. I give a shiver.
"Maybe later Edwin. I need to get some groceries." I say, the bangles on my itchy wrists jingling softly. We begin ascending the spiral staircase to the colosseum. No angels today. I breath a sigh of relief. We're not out of the basement yet, though. Off at the end of the wide-open area, there's a waterfall that crashes into a blue pond. Thick, dangling moss chokes the towering rocks around the next door. I slip behind the crashing water as it spills over the shelf-like rock formation. I immediately begin to cough a little bit, as the dust shoots straight up my nose.
Oh hell.
A dusty road stretches out into the night. Brown, dusty hills encroach in from the left and right, while dead trees whisper and creak under the steady breeze. I join my team at the base of a dual staircase. It looks like I'll be attending to my royal duties after all.
"Oh, Millie, glad you're here." says the professor. His long grey beard jiggles with every word. "Which team do you want to be on tonight?" he asks. I offer a long sigh.
"Blue, I guess."
The second I say this, I'm immediately surrounded by a shimmering blue aura. It looks like I'll be rolling with Edwin and Jandace then. The Professor and his usual friends are red. That's okay. I'm better at killing blue monsters anyway. They usually have the ability to regenerate, but Negotiator negates that.
"Alright, take the staircase to the right then. Keep us apprised." the Professor says, taking his spear in hand. I heft Negotiator from her resting place on my back and make sure that the load-struts on my armor are functioning optimally. I've been having some trouble with the pistons on my right greaves lately. There's a small landing halfway up the right staircase with an old, worn brass gate that blocks our progress. Point of no return.
"Let's do it." says Jandace, her fire orbs circling her slowly. I nod and kick the door down. The second I do so, the monster are on us in almost an instant. A big pair of werecrows booms down the steps, barking loudly in their strange tongue. Their white, useless eyes rolls around in a frenzy as they slam all the rusty wheelbarrows and other junk in the way. I open fire with negotiator on the leftmost werecrow and it drops like a sack of potatoes. I maintain my fire on it, the red lasers from Negotiator illuminating the gleaming eyes of the other monsters in the area. Once I'm convinced that it's dead, I seal it with my blue aura and the werecrow evaporates into an indigo haze. We carry on like this for a few more minutes before reaching the nave. All the furniture here has dust covers on it, and a massive grandfather clock drones ominously in the corner. From atop this cluttered cliff I can barely make out the progress of red team on the other plateau. It seems like they're making good progress.
I hear a loud creaking from my right, and instinctively haul Negotiator around to aim at the abomination. It's a giant bird skull on a mechanical spine with metal rimmed/ glass eyes, like its wearing goggles. It makes no noise except for mechanical whirs and clicks. It jabs its beak at me and I duck backwards. I have no idea where Jandace and Edwin are. Maybe they decided to spend their soul points over in the chaos nexus. It would have been nice of them to let me know.
The mechanized bird skull lunges again, its massive beak agape and ready to snap me up like a worm. I can't move that fast in my heavy armor, but luckily the servos in its clockwork neck are relatively weak. I drop Negotiator and grab the top and bottom points of the beak with my gloved hands. The clockwork abomination drags me around for a few feet, but I'm not letting go.
"Now Ghurtle!" I shout. My faithful partner scuttles forth from the shadows, his nine hairy legs glowing a violent pink color as he gathers soul energy into his mouth. The crawling little beastie unleashes a barrage of flaming pink rocks at the abomination's machinery and engine block. Each one causes a tiny explosion that rocks the dusty nave like a tiny earthquake. Soon enough, the bird skull boss clatters and clanks to the ground, defeated. I stand up straight, panting, and smile at Ghurtle. The Soul Spider smiles back, his toothy fangs glinting in the wan brown light.
"Ready to move on?" he gurgles. I shake my head.
"Nah, I need to pee."
My eyes flutter open and I look around in a haze. What time is it? I glance at my phone. 11:25. Fuck. Could have sworn I was asleep for hours. God my head.
I stagger out of bed and use the bedroom, not bothering to wash my hands before I clamber back into bed. Everything hurts and I feel like absolute shit. Fuck it.
I feel like there was something I had to do tomorrow...Ugh.