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Character arc idea, two questions - Printable Version +- Omni Archive (https://omni.zulenka.com) +-- Forum: Administration Forums (https://omni.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Forum: Help Desk (https://omni.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8) +--- Thread: Character arc idea, two questions (/showthread.php?tid=4578) |
Character arc idea, two questions - Kalli - 06-05-2016 As the title says, I'm doing a character arc (some of that SWEET, SWEET SOLO RP CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) but I need to make sure I can do the things I'm planning. First think I'd like to get out of the way however I got a plot summary at the bottom of this post. But take it as a idea of what'll happen (As a friend of mine put it "Roleplays never go as planned." Even solo ones, at least the ones made by me any who.) Questions 1. The entire plot revolves around two groups of secondaries fighting each other. Both are destroyed in the end, but this is nonetheless world building (and character development) with a addition- and swift removal -from whatever there is of lore/background/whateveryoucallit that they produce. Is something like this permitted? (As in two groups of secondaries fighting, that is) In detail: The Tribe of Sanity and Malicious Sons are fighting each other. They're both groups of secondaries, both having at least a hundred or so people with them. Both fight each other, and in the end of the thread, destroy each other, effectively making this miniature war/skirmish non-existent. Not that the outside would be affected or even care anyhow- this is just two insane tribes smashing each other over the head within a canyon of the Endless Dunes. 2. I'm unaware of how long this'll be, I originally planned to have around four threads splitting the plot into four parts with two pages each, however, as the quote in brackets states, things get unpredictable. So my only question here is: Is more than one thread permitted for each 'verse? Of course spamming threads would be unnecessary, and only one would be the most favorable as I could imagine. ---- As stated, here is the plot summary. Pardon me if my writing (or in this case, summarizing) is rather crude. Fun fact, I plan to do two more of these!...I'm guessing the staff will hang me for this. Well here be the essay, if you don't wanna, feel free not to read it. [spoiler]Using the Coruscant gate, Kalli enters the Endless Dunes. She shortly explores the Carrefore region, ignoring the warnings and signs of the increased hostilities outside of Carrefore. Summoning a motorcycle, she proceeds to go out into the desert on a quest of blind exploration. Little life was to be found up until sunset, where a patrol of the Malicious Sons- a large group of cannibal bandits -ambushed and knocked out the prime, bringing her back to their camp. Waking up in the dark of night and tied to a wooden pole and stripped of all her gear, Kalli proceeds to break free while gathering the attention of another prisoner, whom begs to be freed as well. And once freed, the prisoner then frees other prisoners, whom start a chain reaction of almost all the camp prisoners escaping in the mad dash for freedom that followed. Sneaking about the camp during the chaos, Kalli reclaims her gear followed by an encounter with the Malicious Son’s leader; Malgore, a secondary who stands at 7ft with a body bruised, beaten and muscles barely contained within his own skin. The encounter is rather short, as Malgore is capable of grabbing and throwing Kalli some distance away, believing that his men would be able to subdue her. Combat ensues, and the prime escapes with any remaining prisoners into the canyons. From here, she meets Aoki, a warrior of the prisoners- and the one who begged for help -and reveals that him and the prisoners are members of a primitive tribe that once inhabited the dunes peacefully. This tribe, called the “Tribe of Sanity” as sworn to combat the Malicious Sons, and in combating them, the tribe has been reduced to this number of prisoners. Only remaining with them until they reach their new home (the Tribes of Sanity having found an oasis in one of the canyon’s crevices) Kalli then prepares to leave, only to be asked by the leader of the tribes people to help them, this leader being an old woman called The Eldest. This woman is able to convince Kalli to stay after regretfully informing that the prime would be brutally tortured if she dared to leave the canyon, especially since the Malicious Sons would gain much influence for capturing- and killing -a prime. Despite how temporary death is, Kalli is sickened by the idea of being tortured at the hands of the cannibals. Deciding to join the tribe in their effort to rid of the Malicious Sons from the canyon, she volunteers to help the tribe's warriors. A plan is set up by the warriors of the tribe in order to be victorious against the Malicious Sons:
After a week spent recovering from her wounds (and constructing a leg brace for her broken leg) the prime and the Tribe of Sanity’s warriors ride out into the canyon pass, the Malicious Sons follow up by charging them from the front. The battle follows, casualties, crashing, etc. But Malgore never appears, leading all of the tribe warriors to become suspicious. Hurrying home, numerous vehicles are seen outside the crevice that served as an entrance to the tribe’s oasis, the warriors quickly rush inside hearing the sounds of war echo and the smell of their homes burning. Meanwhile Kalli followed a few seconds later, preparing herself mentally for what was to come. While the tribe is being razed and groups of warriors fight, Kalli finds Malgore, attacking him without warning. The two battle it out, Kalli becoming exhausted over time as they punch, shoot and stab each other, or at least try to. Nearly knocking Kalli unconscious by one swift strike, Malgore then proceeds to take Kalli’s autogun, shooting down Aoki- who rushed in trying to help -killing him in a matter of seconds before turning to shoot prime. However, using stealth, she is able to flank and leap onto Malgore’s back, stabbing him in the head repeatedly, killing him. The Malicious Sons retreat as their screams echo with Malgore’s death, running and disappearing into the canyon, unorganized and without a leader. The tribe however does not celebrate, instead the small band of people that is the last of the tribe gathers for a burial. Kalli dissolves her autogun, ashamed that it was used to kill Aoki. The next morning, the Eldest gives a half-speech half-prayer at the front of all the graves. Once it’s done, she gives Kalli a necklace that belongs to their warriors, a small reward for helping the tribe. Then the Eldest declares that they are to leave the canyon, as the remaining Malicious Sons will always come back here in search of them if they were to remain here. Kalli waits in the canyon until the the tribe is out of sight (as well as making a new weapon- a shiny, metallic recurve bow, with a quiver of arrows having the same futuristic design) Kalli travels back to the gates of Carrefore. Before leaving through the gate that leads to the Nexus, she looks at the warrior necklace, noticing something- Omni’s face, the eyeless, white, godlike creature that ‘summoned’ her to this universe, was on the center ornament of the necklace. Her sorrow disappears for a moment, curious, confused and surprised at why the tribes people worshiped and knew of this being. Shrugging off the numerous unanswerable questions, she walks through the gate back to the Nexus, seeking to forget all that happened. [/spoiler] RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Sans - 06-05-2016 I'm no staff, but I think I can help answer your questions Kalli! 1. I'm fairly certain you are allowed to do this, as my character Ballad completely wiped out a bandit group all by himself. Two groups of secondaries destroying each other doesn't seem too far of a stretch from that. Granted, though, the bandit group Ballad killed was composed of about 35-40 members, and not the hundreds you are saying each group has, so it might be different in this case. 2. I don't know how to answer this one. In my honest opinion, it should stick to one thread for pacing purposes, as it becomes disorganized and probably a little confusing going through each thread in that way. My responses to the plot summary are also listed in spoilers, since I assume you'll want feedback on it as well. It's mostly general commentary on things that I noticed in the summary. [spoiler]The first thing I noticed is that it feels kinda odd that Kalli wouldn't get noticed freeing the prisoner, who would free the other prisoner, who would free the other prisoners, etc. Then again, this is a summary, so this might be accounted for in the actual story. The actual plotline, from what I can see, would actually cause Kalli to become more notable in the Endless Dunes, as she is assisting one group in taking down another group. This would most likely give her some influence. The second thing I find odd is how Kalli is a Prime, yet when she gets her legs broken and all that, she doesn't actually heal her wounds fully. She obviously can, since she's a Prime, and she has a week to do it. The pain can't be THAT disorienting, can it? Other than those two things, though, I'm genuinely interested in what this will do to Kalli. It's like a rite of passage over a long arc. I love it.[/spoiler] RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Kalli - 06-06-2016 Thankies Sans/Ballad! Gonna' still wait for staff confirmation, but thanks a lot for going through this :frog: I hope your eyes didn't die from cringe or anything. I'LL PAY THE MEDICAL BILLS. And with your answer on 2, valid point, two threads max will be my motto then. And as said before: One thread preferable! And don't worry about the escape, summarizing cuts off all the details. And I always thought low level primes were on the same level as secondaries? Er, well, primes seem to always be stronger then secondaries, but I thought those with low DEF (like Kalli) could still be harmed brutally by 'em/the environment/have a hard time coping with pain. I MUST STUDY MY PRIME LORE :derp: Thankies for your input tho' RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Kalli - 06-09-2016 Would like to say that I'll be kicking off this thread tomorrow at the least, a few days from now at most. If staff have anything to say that Sans/Ballad didn't cover, say it now! :balls: Pardon me if you can, don't mean for this to be a unnecessary bump. RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Daniel - 06-09-2016 You want this to be 'World Building' yet, when everything's said an done, this, "Not that the outside would be affected or even care anyhow", will be how the rest of the Omniverse views this event? That's not really world building, it's more like... something that doesn't matter? If you want to do some world building, then you have to effect something in the world. I think you also expect this to move a little too fast. The clans you mentioned are already there and are already at the point of war with each other? You need to establish that the clans are there before getting into the war between them. Anyone reading this would be kind of confused as to where they came from. RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Kalli - 06-10-2016 Sorry, sorry, world building were two words that were poorly used (what I get for panicking about!) or more like not used correctly at all! Not world building, bah, I don't wish to have this change the Omniverse, just be a contained story focused on developing Kalli as a character. Damn, my explanation skills suck. Hm, I didn't plan on the details of their history too much, seems lazy doesn't it? :poop: I'll get on top of that! Also, don't know if it helps, but the original google doc I had explained that the tribe was a bunch of nomads that traveled deep into the dunes (you know, like, nothing-but-sand deep. Also how they earned the name "Tribe of Sanity" since going far out causes people to go insane, yet they're able to maintain some form of sanity) but began to run low on sources of water. So they decide to move closer to the Carrefore region, unluckily drawing the attention of the bandits, who then proceed to attack and then drag back all the tribes people they can carry and kill anyone they can't bring. Being cannibals, they plan to use the tribes people as their source of food- and hood ornaments -but then this plot begins. Still need to figure out how a group of secondaries survive in the middle of pure desert, but better then nothing right? Right? Thanks for pointing this out them flaws by the way, hope this whole thing isn't too bad. RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Daniel - 06-10-2016 having it all written up in a google doc is good and all, but it provides nothing of background information to anyone that wants/ needs it. I would suggest taking a lot of time to really think this out. As you are deciding to bring two, fairly large, groups of secondaries to the Omniverse, it's always best to provide a history lesson (history lesson being a metaphor for backstory) even if you are just going to kill them off a few threads later. I would suggest taking a lot of time to plan this out, it seems like you're trying to rush a little. RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Kalli - 06-10-2016 Ah, well I'll take your words to heart then! Hopefully I can cough up something better, rewriting it all, as well as adding much more too it. Hell, maybe I can make some sort of codex for this arc alone :derp: Again, thanks. I'll put this version of the idea (and thread) to rest. RE: Character arc idea, two questions - Daniel - 06-10-2016 I mean, I wasn't telling you to not do it, I was just advising you to take a little more time to plan it out. |