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+--- Thread: Panicking; input needed. (/showthread.php?tid=3923)
Panicking; input needed. - Tearen Wover - 02-26-2016
So I'm not sure if I was sexually harassed at work today?
I was looking over some work and my boss comes up behind me and sort of, leans into me like he's trying to push me. I'm not sure, maybe it was supposed to be like a chummy, playful thing? We have (had?) A pretty good employer/employee relationship and joked a lot and stuff but...
...I dunno this felt weird. Especially because everyone is always joking(?) about how he only hired me because of my looks, or because I'm a young man and stuff like that. The there's a schizophrenic guy who comes into the shop sometimes and whispers that my boss is a pedophile, and I've always written it off...
It's even worse, because it's only a two-man shop, so if I quit he would really be in a tight spot, not to mention I would also be fiscally hosed. This is also my first full time job doing what I want in my career and it would devastate me if I got uncomfortable to the point I had to leave.
I dunno, am I reading too much into this? I can barely concentrate on anything, I feel sick and I even get dizzy sometimes just...thinking about all the complexities and implications and...just...fuck.
Re: Panicking; input needed. - Magus - 02-26-2016
So... leans into you how?
I mean, I use physical humor with friends/colleagues but we're all pretty vulgar and dark and there's a mutual understanding about this stuff.
But if it made you uncomfortable in spite of you having a good/playful relationship, I'm assuming there was something... odd... about this kind of contact(?).
I can't possibly give you a response, having no idea what's happened, but if you would like to talk, give me a shout. I understand you don't use Skype but we could Steam chat or PM or whatever you'd be most comfortable with.
Re: Panicking; input needed. - Strazio Rockwell - 02-26-2016
First thing I'd do is chill out, play a video game or do something relaxing to calm your nerves. People don't think well when they're frazzled and this kind of thing needs to have a cool head.
Now I'd say playful pushing could potentially be something, it could very easily be nothing, regardless it makes you uncomfortable and that's not okay. If your boss does anything like this again, very firmly and very seriously tell him that you are not okay with it and not comfortable with it. Friends are one thing, but if he is making you uncomfortable, especially if it is through physical actions you need to draw a line in the sand. There are a lot of people that don't understand personal space until they are more or less smacked on the nose about what is not acceptable. Do not let him turn it back on you, and certainly don't allow him to undermine your seriousness.
If it continues after you've told him that you are very clearly not okay with it contact your local labor board (I'm not sure if that is the name, but there is something where you can report this stuff).
Do not worry about him or the state of the shop should things turn sour, your rights and happiness are the most important thing here. Also do not worry about losing your job, unemployment exists for a reason.
As far as what others are saying I would take everything with a grain of sand because rumors tend to propagate themselves, but I wouldn't completely dismiss them.
I'm not a lawyer or professional or anything, this is just what seems to me to be the best advice.
Re: Panicking; input needed. - Tearen Wover - 02-26-2016
I dunno, like, you're just standing and someone comes and leans into you with their chest sort of and looking over your shoulder, but they keep pressing harder and harder like they're jokingly trying to push you over maybe?
Re: Panicking; input needed. - Magus - 02-26-2016
Straz's advice is good. There's one guy in my office who takes things too far and he basically grabbed where my boob would be if I was a girl. I was not a fan and I told him that he crossed the line. Never had a problem with that again. Dude's actually pretty chill now & we get along pretty great.
Maybe sleep on it. You're a smart guy and I bet your intuition is good: maybe you just had a stressful day and things are looking more serious than they are. Maybe not.
Either way, I'm still ready to talk if you need. We got your back, buddy.