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+---- Thread: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer (/showthread.php?tid=3253)
Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 04-09-2018
To: FQOC@revenge.net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: IMPORTANT PLEASE READ IT WAS ON THE NEWS
Warning! Your email account has been HACKED!
It is me! Your aunt Susan from Coruscant. The same happened to me, so I've come to warn you about how the robot overlords from the deeps are taking over the dataverse with mindcontrol chemicals. They hacked my email, and I was able to fix it by following the following 5 steps, and you can too! You better hurry. You've only got the next 20 minutes to complete them all or they'll escape your emails and infect your brain.
1) TAKE A PIECE OF METAL AND HOLD IT ONTO YOUR HEAD REALLY HARD FOR THE NEXT MINUTE.
2) METAL REPELLS THE EVIL MIND CONTROL HACKING. LOOK IN A MIRROR WHEN YOU TAKE THE METAL OFF. IF THERE IS A DENT, YOUR BRAIN HAS BEEN HACKED AS WELL AS YOUR EMAIL. ONLY HACKED SKIN WILL FORM AN INDENTATION. IF THERE IS NO INDENTATION THEN YOU ARE SAFE.
3) THIS STEP IS REALLY IMPORTANT, BECAUSE IT CAN BOTH CURE YOUR INFECTION AND MAKE YOU IMMUNE. IF YOU MAIL EXACTLY 512.18 OM TO hfhajd190481@pgha.com THEN YOU CAN BE CURED.
4) IT IS NOT SAFE YET! YOU NEED TO THEN SEND THIS EXACT EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW - THIS HAS TO BE AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE. REMEMBER, YOU DON'T HAVE LONG LEFT TO DO THIS SO YOU BETTER HURRY. MAKE SURE TO COPY IT EXACTLY AND NOT CHANGE IT. DON'T WORRY, THE EMAIL WILL FAIL TO SEND TO ANYONE WHO IS NOT INFECTED, AND WILL CHANGE ITSELF ON THE WAY TO MEETING THE PEOPLE YOU SEND IT TO! YOU DON'T NEED TO CHANGE A THING.
5) CHECK TO SEE IF THERE IS STILL A DENT ON YOUR HEAD. IT THERE IS ONE, YOU'LL NEED TO GET A MAGNET INSTEAD. HOLD THAT TO YOUR HEAD FOR THE NEXT 5 HOURS AND THAT WILL SUCK AWAY THE REST OF YOUR HACKING. MAKE SURE TO GET ANOTHER STRONG MAGNET AND USE IT ON YOUR PHONE AND COMPUTER AND EVERYTHING WITH YOUR EMAIL ACCOUNT ON AS WELL. ESPECIALLY THE HARDDRIVES. THIS PURIFIES THE HACKING AND SAVES YOUR DEVICES.
Thank you for your cooperation, The_Real_Warren_Zimmer. I hope to see you on your next birthday!
- Your aunt from Coruscant, Susan.
Quote:OOC Note: Don't actually do that, lol. Xx_Yandere_Lo♥er_xX signed up with Warren's email to lots of dodgy websites.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
Upon seeing the unwanted spam email that he had received, Warren Zimmer attempted to digitally trace the location of the individual. Oh yes, he was not going to put up with things like this. There were going to be bounties - plenty of them put on people he didn't like. Starting with the person who had sent this email. It was so annoying in fact, that Warren's right eye was twitching from where he was in the Endless Dunes. Someone was going to pay quite dearly for this, as he most certainly did not have an aunt Susan. In addition, he was certain the email was spam. Really he hated the fact he was receiving what amounted to small, pointless, annoying, messages. It wasn't just regular hatred. It was a desire to see the individual dangling above a shark tank with a death ray or six pointed at them. While not as physical as the harassment that had been done by Yandere, this ranked at the same level of general annoyance for the Quarterback of Chaos.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Crocodile - 04-10-2018
To: FQOC@revenge.net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: a BIGGER pen15 2day!
----------------------------------------------------
Click here 4 all ladies love u!
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Victor Wolfe - 04-10-2018
To: FQOC@revenge.net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: Medical Concerns
Have years of Steroid abuse to keep at the top of your game got your little champ looking less like a super bowl and more like a second rate college game? Well try Vic's get Thicc quick pills, the latest meat head enhancement technology sponsored by the Omniverses biggest stud. Go from stick to Vic in just six weeks of 49.95 payments!
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
"How do they keep finding my email?" asked Warren Zimmer, as he deleted the two emails he had just received, and made a mental note that he was changing his email address.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - The Emperor of Mankind - 04-10-2018
To: FQOC@revenge.net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: There are hot single women in your area
Simply enter your address, credit card number and where your heart is located and meet local women FAST.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Crocodile - 04-10-2018
To: FQOC@revenge.net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: getting spam email?
------------------------------------------------
Click here to download the latest anti-spam software!
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
Warren Zimmer then deleted that email address, and set up a new one for himself that they would not know about. In addition, he also prepared plans to murder whoever continued spamming him at his earliest opportunity, even preparing a graphic video threat that he was going to have published.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 04-10-2018
To: FQOC@revenge.net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: The Princess Needs Your Help
Hello. I am Lady Aveline, the scribe of Princess Aragorn, the Princess of Camelot. My princess has gotten stranded and kidnapped by trolls in the Frozen Fields. Please! You must help us! We need to get her Omnilium back to her people in Camelot to fund a rescue mission. I will entrust it all to you, as the trolls have cut off her connection to the rest of the Dataverse. We must be quick. There isn't much time left. Please reply by sending your Passport ID and bank account details as well as a small Omnilium deposit of 817.72 OM otherwise we will not be able to make the million OM transfer to you. King Aragorn will be sure to give you a big reward once he finds his daughter, Princess Aragorn, is safe.
Many thanks.
I know you are a good person, Mr. Warren Zimmer. Please help us.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
His email had been changed by him after that email, to a new one. One that would likely to be not discovered by any further spammers.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 04-10-2018
To: FQOC@revenge.net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: The Princess Needs Your Help II
My apologies, brave knight. In our haste, we forgot to give you an email to reply to. As, in evading the Trolls, we had to encrypt it heavily. Please forward the Omnilium and details to Princess.Arag0rn@omnimail.com. I am sure King Aragorn would be happy to hear from you at The100perct.real.king69@omail.com. Thank you for helping us Mr. Zimmer. I know you have a good heart.
Quote:Still the old email address
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
After checking his old email one last time, a new set of emails were added to his blocked list, before he fully switched over. The list wss as follows:
The100perct.real.king69@omail.com
Princess.Arag0rn@omnimail.com
In addition, every conceivable altered form of those emails was also blocked by Warren Zimmer.
"For the sake of my sanity, when will it end?" screamed Warren Zimmer, as he continued towards the area he was headed to in the Endless Dunes. Murder was definitely on his mind. And when he found out who had given out his email? They were gonna suffer big time.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - The Emperor of Mankind - 04-10-2018
To: IQOC@DefinitelygonnagetRevenge.Net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: Top 5 saddest anime deaths
5. Warren Zimmer, killed by a weeb
4. I duck I saw yesterday ._.
3. 13-jzall, killed by a goat
2. 13-jzall again, killed by a child with a flamey stick
1. your sides after you watch this HILARIOUS video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Want more funny blog posts?
Follow me on my omnibook!
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
"....."
The delete button was hit at that time by Warren Zimmer. How did they find his new email address so quickly - and why did they continually bother him when it did them no good? In addition, how could he make them do as he wanted, and leave him alone?
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 04-10-2018
To: IQOC@DefinitelygonnagetRevenge.Net
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: You Can Do It
Are you able to make lots of cool weapons with ease? Do you have a big arsenal of ways to kill things? Should you, by all rights, be the strongest person in the Omniverse?
Yet, at the same time, do you always lose to stormtroopers and random weebs welding Katanas and other weeb swords?
Are random upstarts able to beat you at every turn?
If you answered yes to those last two questions, or want assurance that you can crush your enemies, got to the Ashen Steppes today! By simply forwarding 2000 OM to git.gud.69@noscrubs.com and heading the the very middle of the verse, we can make you into the very strongest prime, or secondary. Heck, you'll be able to beat Diabolo in a fist fight.
I have heard great things about you Mr. Warren Zimmer. Don't disappoint me.
Disclaimer: The price of a Banishment Circle is not included. The training costs are for one hour.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
"No. Just no," stated Warren as he added that sender to his block list, and once more changed his email address. This time he changed to:
HIPSSBME@OIL.Com.
In addition he made sure the email was unlisted, so he would stop receiving these spam messages. And in addition to that he set up an anti virus of his own design on the email, and firewalls that would destroy any spam messages before he received them.
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - The Emperor of Mankind - 04-10-2018
To: HIPSSBME@OIL.Com.
From: [Unidentified Sender]
Subject: Oh hi mark
With all these email changes
all this hate
YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA!
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 04-10-2018
To: HIPSSBME@OIL.Com
From: KnockKnock@freedom.com
Subject: when there's a username with oil in it
Knock Knock!
IT'S THE UNITED STATES. We've come for your domain!
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - James Knight - 04-10-2018
"....."
Warren deleted both email addresses, and changed his email once more. It was now.
WZCantonQOC@DNBME.Net
RE: Direct Message to Warren Zimmer - Harley Quinn - 04-10-2018
[To:WZCantonQOC@DNBME.Net]
[From: UNKNOWN SENDER]
Subject: I KNOW WHO IS HACKING YOUR EMAIL
I know who is hacking you! I have tracked down this person here