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+--- Thread: Joining: Granite (/showthread.php?tid=3082)
Joining: Granite - Granite - 11-11-2015
Character name: Granite
Character source: Original
Character history: Granite was created by the Vampire Gaston Bellemare to act as his literal walking wall. Granite was made/kept as a slave and deprived any form of education beyond a few simple phrases, and a name, for most of his existence. One day Bellemare used him as a scapegoat in an effort to save his own life, which succeeded. After a few shenanigans Granite and a Vampire hunter, who gave him the name Granite, ended up catching Bellemare and killing him. Soon afterwards he was hailed a hero by the local town. But, because of his depraved upbringing, he did not truly understand the gravity of his achievement. The townsfolk held a grand feast in celebration of their oppressor's death with Granite and his fallen Ally's honor. For a while afterwards he acted as the town's personal guard. His last memory is of him receiving a letter from the newly positioned Tsar asking Granite to be a personal guard.
The world he is from is that of a Gothic Russia, where the main population of humans are mostly tormented by the minority of inhuman monsters. And most of the country was ruled/terrorized by Gaston Bellemare. Not long after Bellemare's death a Tsar took power of the country and attempted to hire Granite to be his personal guard. Although Granite does not remember afterwards, Granite accepted the offer and went off in the hopes of reclaiming the simple, slave life that he once knew under Bellemare. The Tsar quickly started ordering Granite to kill the Tsar's own sons. The moment Granite was actively brought into the Omniverse was after he had decided on his own to end the Tsar's life to let one of his kinder children succeed as the new Tsar.
Physical Description: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://i.imgur.com/1ayUpuy.jpg">http://i.imgur.com/1ayUpuy.jpg</a><!-- m -->
Stats:
ATK: 4
DEF: 5
SPD: 0
TEC: 1
Starting Proficiencies: Physical Strength (1000), Area Shield Proficiency (400)
Starting Powers: Survival (2000)
Starting Moves:
Outstretched Guard: (300) (Area Shield Proficiency) By outstretching the wings and arms, this move defends an area of 12 feet from frontal attacks. The move requires four seconds to set up/disengage, the user can not move during, and the user takes damage, at a somewhat lowered amount, in place of those being shielded. Unfortunately this move does not defend against extra splash damage nor damage that originate from behind.
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Where did you find us? Through an internet search.
Re: Joining: Granite - Dawnika Snow - 11-11-2015
Im not a mod but want to be so Imma help you out here.
First: You have a good background, but maybe expand on what exactly was going before he got wooshed away from Gothic Russia.
Second: Your move should require the proficiencies in the description. Like this Outstreched Guard 300 Om requires Area Shield proficiency
-Description-
You should also meantion how long it takes to ready this gaurd. 12 feet is a wide space to cover and your speed is low so it will require some time to take effect. Lastly maybe mention how much this attack absorbs damage. Your defense is extremely high so he should be able to take a good amount of punishment, but characters with equal atk to you def will be able to bash though it more easily than one with much lower ATK like I.
Third: Disclaimer- I AM NOT A MOD NOR AM I ASSUMING I AM. I merely wish to help the mods out before tbey take on subjects I already understand need tweeking.
Re: Joining: Granite - Granite - 11-11-2015
Akame Wrote:Im not a mod but want to be so Imma help you out here.
First: You have a good background, but maybe expand on what exactly was going before he got wooshed away from Gothic Russia.
Second: Your move should require the proficiencies in the description. Like this Outstreched Guard 300 Om requires Area Shield proficiency
-Description-
You should also meantion how long it takes to ready this gaurd. 12 feet is a wide space to cover and your speed is low so it will require some time to take effect. Lastly maybe mention how much this attack absorbs damage. Your defense is extremely high so he should be able to take a good amount of punishment, but characters with equal atk to you def will be able to bash though it more easily than one with much lower ATK like I.
Third: Disclaimer- I AM NOT A MOD NOR AM I ASSUMING I AM. I merely wish to help the mods out before tbey take on subjects I already understand need tweeking.
Thanks a lot for helping me out, I'll be sure to correct the move immediately. And I left Granite's history afterwards out to give me more time really flesh it out and give me an opportunity to a few backflashes. But if you think it would make him more likely to be approved, then I'll gladly give more info
Re: Joining: Granite - Undyne - 11-11-2015
Same as Akame - I'm not a mod, so don't take my word for it
I wanted to say that it's always advantageous to provide some backstory, especially around when your character is brought to the Omniverse (keeping in mind that you're not supposed to modify the introduction) but it would give the rest of us some insight about your character prior to the Omniverse events.
You can still leave it vague to have the opportunity of memories returning of course, that's just my two cents on this.
Re: Joining: Granite - Minato Namikaze - 11-11-2015
In regards to your history, Akame is sort of wrong. You don't need to put much into your backstory in the joining app (The paragraph you have now is mostly fine). However, what you do need to add to it is where and when he actually came to the Omniverse. Any further backstory/ information can be included later, after your application has been accepted.
Your move is actually Fine for the most part. Although, since it's a guarding move, you don't need to take full damage in place of others, it can be lessened to an extent. A way you may want to rationalize this is by having him, somehow, harden his wings while he is using them to guard.
Re: Joining: Granite - Granite - 11-11-2015
Alexyana Wrote:Same as Akame - I'm not a mod, so don't take my word for it
I wanted to say that it's always advantageous to provide some backstory, especially around when your character is brought to the Omniverse (keeping in mind that you're not supposed to modify the introduction) but it would give the rest of us some insight about your character prior to the Omniverse events.
You can still leave it vague to have the opportunity of memories returning of course, that's just my two cents on this.
Wow, thanks a lot for all that sweet advice. and I've added onto his backstory a bit, to give you guys a bit more of the story. And included the even that directly led up to his pre-Omni entry.
Re: Joining: Granite - Minato Namikaze - 11-11-2015
Rather than using flat numbers, like '75%' and stuff like that, just say that he will take a little less damage or something like that
Re: Joining: Granite - Granite - 11-14-2015
Minato Namikaze Wrote:Rather than using flat numbers, like '75%' and stuff like that, just say that he will take a little less damage or something like that
Thanks for you continued tweaking Minato! Anyway, I've fixed the move and bumping the topic since its been past 48 hours.
Re: Joining: Granite - Minato Namikaze - 11-14-2015
Sorry it's taken so long, I have asked for another staff member to look over this, just for a fresh set of eyes
It shouldn't be too long now.
Re: Joining: Granite - Minato Namikaze - 11-15-2015
Okay, just have to make sure you know but, since you're taking damage instead of another, any damage taken will be dependent on the difference between your defense and an enemies Attack stat.
Re: Joining: Granite - Minato Namikaze - 11-17-2015
Approved, sorry for the wait
Name: Granite
Level: 1
Spent OM: 3700
Proficiencies: (1400); Physical Strength (1000), Area Shield (400)
Powers: (2000); Survival (2000)
Moves: (300); Outstretched Guard (300)
Super Moves:
Transformations:
Assists:
Items:
Bases:
Unlocks:
Base stats:
ATK: 4
DEF: 5
SPD: 0
TEC: 1
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