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+--- Thread: Okor Paleblood (Alt) (/showthread.php?tid=1314)
Okor Paleblood (Alt) - Vulre Oakenlimb - 05-01-2015
[spoiler]Sivo here, just hit 8k, so I'm making al alt.[/spoiler]
Character name: Okor Paleblood
Character source: Warhammer 40k/ Original
Character history: Born upon the toxic planet of Barbarus, a world wreathed in clouds of acid, poison, and plague, dominated by the alien Overlords and their armies of the walking dead, Okor was a fine example of a warrior. Taking up a dulled and rusted blade when he was barely out of childhood, he defended his home village of Barbarus alongside the older warriors, holding back the tides of the undead for another day. His life consisted of nothing but this, until the Primarch Mortation established his dominion. The disparate villages of man were united under his rule, and the people struck back against the abominations that rule the planet, climbing poisoned peaks clad in crude breathing apparatuses, putting dead men and Xenos to the sword. Okor followed Mortation faithfully, beholden to the man who had saved his people. As they camped around the single poisonous peak that denied them, that of Mortation's father, the hated Emperor arrived while Mortation was scouting the mountain. To Okor's eternal shame, he was entranced by the Man's palpable aura of charisma. When Mortation returned, he swore to earn his people's independence by slaying his father.
While none of the Death Guard knew what happened upon that peak, Barbarus was quickly swept up into the Great Crusade. Mortation assumed command of the Dusk Raiders, quickly renamed as the Death Guard. Recruits were drawn from Barbarus, their natural resilience augmented by the biological changes wrought by gene-seed. Okor was among the oldest recruits, 15 years of age when he earned the chance to serve. After passing the trials and receiving the gene-seed, he joined the ranks. He served his Primarch across decades of war, consistently participating in some of the bloodiest battles in the great crusade. The pride of the Death Guard disallowed them from fighting anywhere but the frontlines.
When Horus initiated his Heresy, it was clear who the Death Guard would turn to. Mortation was angry and bitter about how his true father had stolen his glory and purpose from him, turning him from the king and savior of Barbarus into just another General. As the Legion travelled through the warp towards Terra, they became marooned. A plague swept through the Legion, rotting the famously resilient death guard from the inside, wracking the legion with an unstoppable infection. In the depths of his fever, Mortation pledged his Legion's souls to the Lord Of All, Nurgle, ending their torment, and beginning their eternal war.
After the Traitors were repulsed from Terra, they fled to the eye of Terror. Finding a haven in the embrace of the warp, the Death Guard lair there, their Daemon Primarch ruling over a perverse recreation of his home, terrorizing the populace from his toxic peak. Okor himself served alongside his legion for 9 millennia, eventually swearing himself to a pilgrimage, promising to not return to his Legion until he had deciphered the nature of his patron. As he clambered through the seemingly endless levels of the Broken Temple, seeking his own name written upon the walls, bloodying his fingers on shattered masonry, feeding on those who tried the task before him and failed. As he neared the peak, the vulture-like Daemons roosting there surrounding him, waiting for him to fail, the vista vanished, replaced with a blank scene of nothingness, and one grinning, featureless being.
Physical Description: (originals only)
![[Image: chaos_space_marine_plague_marine_color_b...4fjqdj.jpg]](http://th08.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/312/3/c/chaos_space_marine_plague_marine_color_by_jutami-d4fjqdj.jpg)
Okor's armour has long since fused to his flesh after 10 millennia of warfare and exposure to the reality-twisting ways of the warp. It is now more of a chitinous exoskeleton. His abdomen and left arm are exposed, showcasing the blessings that the plaguefather has gifted upon him, and allowing for him to transmit them more easily. Indeed, the sheer quantity of diseases and bacteria contained within his gaunt frame would be enough to rot a planet to the core, were it not for the Omnillium containing it. Unlike most of his bloated Brethern, Okor is almost skeletal, with cracked, yellowing bones, covered in calciferous masses lurking just beneath his pallid skin. A tabard hangs from his waist, stained with grime, filth, blood and pus, and still proudly emblazoned with the mark of Nurgle. A horn juts from the center of his head, a twisted, broken thing. Beneath it lies a single, blood-shot eye.
Stats:
ATK: 3
DEF: 5
SPD: 0
TEC: 2
Starting Proficiencies:
Physical Proficiency (1000 OM)
Debuff Proficiency (1000 OM)
Starting Powers:
Survival (2000 OM)
Starting Moves:
Plague Blade (600 OM, requires Physical Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)
A rusted, pitted blade used since the bloody opening acts of the Long War, this sword has no name, no poems written about those it has claimed, merely a body count. It drips with pestilence, the diseases and toxins coating it driving those it strikes into a powerful, but short fever. During this fever, the foe is slowed and weakened, and their mind is addled somewhat by the fever, driving them to recklessness. The blade itself is surprisingly resilient, and comparable to one of the dreaded chainswords of the 41st millenium in terms of destructive potential.
I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct.
Re: Okor Paleblood (Alt) - Zelda - 05-01-2015
Quote:Plague Blade (600 OM, requires Physical Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)
A rusted, pitted blade used since the bloody opening acts of the Long War, this sword has no name, no poems written about those it has claimed, merely a body count. It drips with pestilence, the diseases and toxins coating it driving those it strikes into a powerful, but short fever. During this fever, the foe is slowed and weakened, and their mind is addled somewhat by the fever, driving them to recklessness. The blade itself is surprisingly resilient, and comparable to one of the dreaded chainswords of the 41st millenium in terms of destructive potential.
This needs to be reworked a tad to make it balanced - as you guessed accurately in chat.
There are two ways I can see this essentially functioning as you want it to. The first is reducing the OM price to 300 (for the move still requiring debuff) and having each slash of the blade drain your character (fatigue wise) in order to apply both damage and debuff at the same time. However, it would always have that drain for every single attack you make upon a target.
While the second, is to keep the 600 OM price, make it capable of 'normal' slashes (no debuff) and have the 'fever' be spread after focusing for several seconds (a charged slash with debuff). The latter would still drain your fatigue but it would give you the option of having the blade function as a normal weapon (not constantly debuffing an opponent).
Edit: Everything else looks wonderful.
Re: Okor Paleblood (Alt) - Vulre Oakenlimb - 05-01-2015
Plague Blade (600 OM, requires Physical Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)
A rusted, pitted blade used since the bloody opening acts of the Long War, this sword has no name, no poems written about those it has claimed, merely a body count. It drips with pestilence, the diseases and toxins coating it driving those it strikes into a powerful, but short fever. During this fever, the foe is slowed and weakened, and their mind is addled somewhat by the fever, driving them to recklessness. It takes roughly 2 and a half seconds for the poison to coalesce, after which it remains for a single blow, and must be replenished again. The blade itself is surprisingly resilient, and comparable to one of the dreaded chainswords of the 41st millenium in terms of destructive potential.
Re: Okor Paleblood (Alt) - Zelda - 05-01-2015
You still need to mention how much a plagued strike drains your character - which you can say is the cost of energy it takes to reapply the poison coating to the blade itself, for example.
In addition, you also need to make it clear that normal strikes do not apply the fever. Otherwise I would assume that every strike with the blade requires you to charge it for 2 and half seconds (in that case would only cost 300 not 600 OM you're paying for the versatility of not always coating the blade basically).
Re: Okor Paleblood (Alt) - Vulre Oakenlimb - 05-01-2015
Plague Blade (600 OM, requires Physical Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)
A rusted, pitted blade used since the bloody opening acts of the Long War, this sword has no name, no poems written about those it has claimed, merely a body count. Okor can channel his own pestilence along the blade, requiring roughly two and a half seconds of concentration. The pestilence created by this act slows and weakens the foe, and drives them to a reckless assault if they lack the physical and mental integrity to resist it. After a charged strike, it functions as a simple blade for the remainder of the combat, as Okor is not one to exhaust himself overmuch in the pursuit of victory. All rots in time, after all...
Re: Okor Paleblood (Alt) - Zelda - 05-01-2015
Alright, you have my stamp of approval, Sivo.
Name: Okor Paleblood
Level: 1
Spent OM: 4600
Proficiencies: (2000); Physical Strength (1000), Debuff (1000)
Powers: (2000); Survival (2000)
Moves: (600); Plague Blade (600)
Super Moves:
Transformations:
Assists:
Items:
Bases:
Unlocks:
Base stats:
ATK:3
DEF:5
SPD:0
TEC:2
You know the dance right? Just put up your roster~ I'll handle your log.
Re: Okor Paleblood (Alt) - Proto Man - 05-01-2015
Approved