(06-22-2018, 04:03 AM)Ricter Wrote: Changed stuff, for Steel I added the stamina thing, though for my other move it had a 15 second charge time with an additional 5 second usage for it. Changed it since it seemed to not do much in the realm of helping, also added fatigue and keeping the other things.

[spoiler]Steel: (300) [Requires Buff, Area Defense]

He can increase the amount of iron proteins in his fur, making the fibers virtually as hard as metal, and coating his body in virtually a suit of armor when it comes to protection. Attacks that reflect off him resemble if you hit something metallic, typically displaying sparks if another metallic weapon would hit him, but will only block weaker attacks, anything stronger breaks his guard and stuns him for a second. The defense takes five seconds of him standing still to form, and once made it can be maintained by him for thirty seconds or when broken or dropped. The defense would need to be dropped completely in order to use more focus related powers and abilities and remade after another five second time frame to get it back again while taking minor stamina to use but repeated uses can cause bodily fatigue.

Aroma Something: (300) [Requires Healing, Buff, Area Defense, Telepathy, Ranged]

Thanks to all the herbal remedies he’s enchanted his weapon with, and some alcohol, his body can be engulfed in an aura that eludes the smell of vanilla with a mix of different kinds of herbs, in addition to a bit of sake from a friend of his to add some joyful inebriation. After and ten second channel time and five seconds of being in his generalized area he can use the allure of the smells to impose minor hypnotic effects on those who stay near him. One of which makes those who are around him very relaxed, a content state of lulled indulgence, similar to feeling a bit tipsy or drunk but having not drunken anything at all. They can choose to act normal however, or simply go along with the sensations as it was more so made to aid them than cause harm.

The aroma fights off the effects of foreign mental disturbances that may change the way someone acts, thinks, or anything affecting their five senses by matching his DEF vs their aggressors TEC. If they have double his DEF then the disturbance go’s through naturally, if they are nearly even then they are half as effective, less than half his DEF and they become immune to them for the duration. The effect can only afflict those in a five meter radius from his location. Leaving his general area makes the relaxing sensation go away, he can keep the mental blocking aspect of the skill going for one minute but on use it drains a moderate amount of energy from him. While channeling this prior he cant be intrupted but it takes some time still. Flavor wise he can always smell like this while not giving an in combat effect, additionally this can't help those afflicted by super debuff moves.[/spoiler]

(06-22-2018, 11:49 AM)Demetri Malius Wrote:

(06-22-2018, 04:03 AM)Ricter Wrote: Changed stuff, for Steel I added the stamina thing, though for my other move it had a 15 second charge time with an additional 5 second usage for it. Changed it since it seemed to not do much in the realm of helping, also added fatigue and keeping the other things.

[spoiler]Steel: (300) [Requires Buff, Area Defense]

He can increase the amount of iron proteins in his fur, making the fibers virtually as hard as metal, and coating his body in virtually a suit of armor when it comes to protection. Attacks that reflect off him resemble if you hit something metallic, typically displaying sparks if another metallic weapon would hit him, but will only block weaker attacks, anything stronger breaks his guard and stuns him for a second. The defense takes five seconds of him standing still to form, once made it can be maintained by him for thirty seconds or when broken or dropped. The defense would need to be dropped completely in order to use more focus related powers and abilities and remade after another five second time frame to get it back again while taking minor stamina to use but repeated uses can cause fatigue his body.

Aroma Something: (300) [Requires Healing, Buff, Area Defense, Telepathy, Ranged]

Thanks to all the herbal remedies he’s enchanted his weapon with, and some alcohol, his body can be engulfed in an aura that eludes the smell of vanilla with a mix of different kinds of herbs, in addition to a bit of sake from a friend of his to add some joyful inebriation. After and ten second channel time, that cant be interrupted, and five seconds of being in his generalized area he can use the allure of the smells to impose minor hypnotic effects on those who stay near him. One of which makes those who are around him very relaxed, a content state of lulled indulgence, similar to feeling a bit tipsy or drunk but having not drunken anything at all. They can choose to act normal however, or simply go along with the sensations as it was more so made to aid them than cause harm.

The aroma fights off the effects of foreign mental disturbances that may change the way someone acts, thinks, or anything affecting their five senses by matching his DEF vs their aggressors TEC. If they have double his DEF then the disturbance go’s through naturally, if they are nearly even then they are half as effective, less than half his DEF and they become immune to them for the duration. The effect can only afflict those in a five meter radius from his location. Leaving his general area makes the relaxing sensation go away, he can keep the mental blocking aspect of the skill going for one minute but on use it drains a moderate amount of energy from him. Flavor wise he can always smell like this while not giving an in combat effect, additionally this can't help those afflicted by super debuff moves.[/spoiler]

Aside from a few bits of awkward phrasing these seems fine the way ithey are *thumbs up*

*Double takes*

Aroma aura needs to have a range, don't know how I missed that but yeah, after that I would day it's good to shove into approval

(06-22-2018, 11:48 AM)The Vision Wrote: Copy Flower (300)
A Power Flower Wario stole from the Mario Bros. a long time ago. Wario creates a very, VERY temporary copy of himself within 5 feet. This copy can use Burst Movement and then hit a single target with a basic bludgeoning attack (punch, jump on, golf club, tennis racket, etc), after which it instantly vanishes. The original Wario suffers the energy expenditure of this attack. He also suffers any damage the copy sustains. The instant the copy is damaged in any way, it vanishes. All of this is true unless Wario uses a Bros. Move, a move with the "Bros." tag, in which case the rules may change.


Here is an example of a Bros. Move:

Tier 1 Super Attack
Swing Bros. (600) Requires Physical Strength, Area Attack

Wario creates a clone of himself. They join hands and the original starts spinning very slowly. After a brief speed-up time of two seconds, the two Warios become a terrifying cyclone of yellow and purple. Anything within 8 feet starts taking moderate damage. Wario can move at his speed, but will have difficulty changing direction. Any damage the clone Wario sustains will be carried over to the original Wario, but will not cause it to disappear. He doesn’t take damage from colliding with a target. This Move is fairly tiring, forcing him to spend SP.

(06-22-2018, 11:54 AM)Ricter Wrote:

(06-22-2018, 11:49 AM)Demetri Malius Wrote:

(06-22-2018, 04:03 AM)Ricter Wrote: Changed stuff, for Steel I added the stamina thing, though for my other move it had a 15 second charge time with an additional 5 second usage for it. Changed it since it seemed to not do much in the realm of helping, also added fatigue and keeping the other things.

[spoiler]Steel: (300) [Requires Buff, Area Defense]

He can increase the amount of iron proteins in his fur, making the fibers virtually as hard as metal, and coating his body in virtually a suit of armor when it comes to protection. Attacks that reflect off him resemble if you hit something metallic, typically displaying sparks if another metallic weapon would hit him, but will only block weaker attacks, anything stronger breaks his guard and stuns him for a second. The defense takes five seconds of him standing still to form, once made it can be maintained by him for thirty seconds or when broken or dropped. The defense would need to be dropped completely in order to use more focus related powers and abilities and remade after another five second time frame to get it back again while taking minor stamina to use but repeated uses can cause fatigue his body.

Aroma Something: (300) [Requires Healing, Buff, Area Defense, Telepathy, Ranged]

Thanks to all the herbal remedies he’s enchanted his weapon with, and some alcohol, his body can be engulfed in an aura that eludes the smell of vanilla with a mix of different kinds of herbs, in addition to a bit of sake from a friend of his to add some joyful inebriation. After and ten second channel time, that cant be interrupted, and five seconds of being in his generalized area he can use the allure of the smells to impose minor hypnotic effects on those who stay near him. One of which makes those who are around him very relaxed, a content state of lulled indulgence, similar to feeling a bit tipsy or drunk but having not drunken anything at all. They can choose to act normal however, or simply go along with the sensations as it was more so made to aid them than cause harm.

The aroma fights off the effects of foreign mental disturbances that may change the way someone acts, thinks, or anything affecting their five senses by matching his DEF vs their aggressors TEC. If they have double his DEF then the disturbance go’s through naturally, if they are nearly even then they are half as effective, less than half his DEF and they become immune to them for the duration. The effect can only afflict those in a five meter radius from his location. Leaving his general area makes the relaxing sensation go away, he can keep the mental blocking aspect of the skill going for one minute but on use it drains a moderate amount of energy from him. Flavor wise he can always smell like this while not giving an in combat effect, additionally this can't help those afflicted by super debuff moves.[/spoiler]

Aside from a few bits of awkward phrasing these seems fine the way ithey are *thumbs up*

*Double takes*

Aroma aura needs to have a range, don't know how I missed that but yeah, after that I would day it's good to shove into approval

I bolded the radius, it was in the move already lol, and thanks.

Quote:Snow Drift: mostly good, but 40m/s is actually pretty fast, close to 90mph. Is there a charge time? Cooldown doesn't seem to be much of an issue here, I wouldn't find you need to use it more than once every five seconds. With how it is now, you get a low stamina instant cast knockback move every 5 seconds.

Quote:Frozen Lake: I would say this lasts one round to make it more fluent with fights, as this could basically last an entire fight depending on how its written. Other than that, looks good.

Quote:Hierro: Indefinite use is generally a no go, especially since this is a high draining move, it leaves it too open-ended. Perhaps add a maximum time she can hold this before having to let it go and catch her breath. Other than that, looks good.

Quote:Sound Dust: Just in case of nitpicky fights, make sure you add what the range is on this, specifically to show the possibility of protecting others. Obviously, it needs area shield, which I assume you already have from previous moves, and if you feel like adding a small charge that would be chill, but hey, its a super, up to you.

(06-23-2018, 07:17 AM)Weiss Schnee Wrote:

Quote:Frozen Lake: I would say this lasts one round to make it more fluent with fights, as this could basically last an entire fight depending on how its written. Other than that, looks good.

I got no problem with doing that, I've been told not to use rounds for non-super moves before though. if it's allowable I'd absolutely prefer to write the move that way though!

Quote:Nargacuga Greatbow
A masterfully crafted greatbow, firing fletched spears like arrows designed to take down monstrous foes.
Cost: 1,200 OM
Requirements: Physical Strength, Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency, Homing Proficiency
Crafted from the bones and sinews of the Great Nargacuga Wyvern, this 7'6" feet tall bow fires greatarrows, literal fletched spears to strike down large beasts and dragons similar to what it was made from. The amount of force required to even draw the bow prevents full powered rapid fire from any but the strongest of wielders. Properly harnessing the bow's draw weight requires an extended overdraw, which takes Meriwa 3 seconds to complete, but its arrows can be fired much more quickly at a shot a second though this is done at severely reduced power. The quiver, situated at its wielder's back contain up to 15 standard greatarrows, almost fletched spears, which continuously refill at a rate of one greatarrow every 10 seconds. The inlaid runes can be used to completely fill the quiver in bursts, but this drains stamina equivalent to a light 100 meter jog. A combination of different arrow types and runic activations allow for several firing modes:
"Standard" Greatarrow
There is little to nothing standard about these massive projectiles, looking very much like someone has glued fletching to a bunch of spears. Designed to bring down large monsters and beasts, a shot at full charge is very powerful, even at long range.
Greatarrow, High Explosive
The head of this massive projectile is oversized, even for the Nargacuga Greatbow's massive ammunition, and inscribed with runes harkening to volcanoes and foul-tempered beasts. The spear energizes in flight, glowing red, and detonates in a wave of force and shrapnel upon impact, or after 5 seconds should it not have struck something by then, with an effective radious of 3 meters. High Ex Greatarrows takes the space of 4 normal greatarrows and requires an additional second of charge to activate the runes, even while quick-firing. High Ex Greatarrows do less damage than the standard variety due to being worse penetrators and some of the impact energy being used to activate the explosive runes.
Wolf-Hawk Targeting Rune
Named after a species of agile raptors at home in the twisting branches, canopies, and undergrowth of the Tangled Green, these runes significantly reduce the speed of fired greatarrows in return for giving them homing properties. As long as the bow's runic sight is kept on target for the locking period of a second, the projectile will eventually strike true. Any arrows fired with these runes active will give off a visible light-blue glow, same as the geometric rune-sight, and swerve to avoid obstacles in their path.

(06-23-2018, 07:17 AM)Weiss Schnee Wrote:

Quote:Snow Drift: mostly good, but 40m/s is actually pretty fast, close to 90mph. Is there a charge time? Cooldown doesn't seem to be much of an issue here, I wouldn't find you need to use it more than once every five seconds. With how it is now, you get a low stamina instant cast knockback move every 5 seconds.

I figured for a move that's mostly for a bit of knockback it wouldn't be too bad, given it's much slower than the average longbow, and most people would be capable of dodging that within 4 meters with something like SPD 2.
the cooldown I just figured would be good to add so I can't literally bury someone indefinitely with slow, though it's not as though that'd be a good way to write a fight anyways . The charge time I was linking to Weiss's arm slashes, so I was hoping to go with something similar to the rules stated with semi-autos - it requires Weiss to complete a slash of her weapon, so it's as fast as her sword arm allows.

Quote:Frozen Lake: I would say this lasts one round to make it more fluent with fights, as this could basically last an entire fight depending on how its written. Other than that, looks good.

I got no problem with doing that, I've been told not to use rounds for non-super moves before though. if it's allowable I'd absolutely prefer to write the move that way though!

Quote:Hierro: Indefinite use is generally a no go, especially since this is a high draining move, it leaves it too open-ended. Perhaps add a maximum time she can hold this before having to let it go and catch her breath. Other than that, looks good.

Alrighty. I'd imagine a "but she can do it this long if she wants to collapse afterwards" would probably be fine?

Quote:Sound Dust: Just in case of nitpicky fights, make sure you add what the range is on this, specifically to show the possibility of protecting others. Obviously, it needs area shield, which I assume you already have from previous moves, and if you feel like adding a small charge that would be chill, but hey, its a super, up to you.

Knew I'd forgot something!

(06-23-2018, 07:21 AM)Dane Regan Wrote:

(06-23-2018, 07:17 AM)Weiss Schnee Wrote:

Quote:Frozen Lake: I would say this lasts one round to make it more fluent with fights, as this could basically last an entire fight depending on how its written. Other than that, looks good.

I got no problem with doing that, I've been told not to use rounds for non-super moves before though. if it's allowable I'd absolutely prefer to write the move that way though!

Yeah. Rounds should only be used as a measurement of time for things you spend SP on (super moves). Every other duration should be in seconds or minutes or something like that.

(06-23-2018, 11:54 AM)Dave Strider Wrote: A few minutes is still like I said, probably enough to last an entire fight depending on the circumstances and lack of aoe.

Quote:We always prefer descriptions to be as literal as possible. Saying "this lasts a round" is very vague because depending on the writers, post length et cetera, a "round" might be 1 minute or 10 minutes. Therefore, put durations in literal time. 

(06-23-2018, 07:42 AM)Nezha Wrote: So I'm working on a new character, and her starting move is a big stonking bow with some additional bells and whistles.

And yes, this is the second time I post this, so what does the move lack so far?

Quote:Nargacuga Greatbow
A masterfully crafted greatbow, firing fletched spears like arrows designed to take down monstrous foes.
Cost: 1,200 OM
Requirements: Physical Strength, Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency, Homing Proficiency
Crafted from the bones and sinews of the Great Nargacuga Wyvern, this 7'6" feet tall bow fires greatarrows, literal fletched spears to strike down large beasts and dragons similar to what it was made from. The amount of force required to even draw the bow prevents full powered rapid fire from any but the strongest of wielders. Properly harnessing the bow's draw weight requires an extended overdraw, which takes Meriwa 3 seconds to complete, but its arrows can be fired much more quickly at a shot a second though this is done at severely reduced power. The quiver, situated at its wielder's back contain up to 15 standard greatarrows, almost fletched spears, which continuously refill at a rate of one greatarrow every 10 seconds. The inlaid runes can be used to completely fill the quiver in bursts, but this drains stamina equivalent to a light 100 meter jog. A combination of different arrow types and runic activations allow for several firing modes:
"Standard" Greatarrow
There is little to nothing standard about these massive projectiles, looking very much like someone has glued fletching to a bunch of spears. Designed to bring down large monsters and beasts, a shot at full charge is very powerful, even at long range.
Greatarrow, High Explosive
The head of this massive projectile is oversized, even for the Nargacuga Greatbow's massive ammunition, and inscribed with runes harkening to volcanoes and foul-tempered beasts. The spear energizes in flight, glowing red, and detonates in a wave of force and shrapnel  upon impact, or after 5 seconds should it not have struck something by then, with an effective radious of 3 meters. High Ex Greatarrows takes the space of 4 normal greatarrows and requires an additional second of charge to activate the runes, even while quick-firing. High Ex Greatarrows do less damage than the standard variety due to being worse penetrators and some of the impact energy being used to activate the explosive runes.
Wolf-Hawk Targeting Rune
Named after a species of agile raptors at home in the twisting branches, canopies, and undergrowth of the Tangled Green, these runes significantly reduce the speed of fired greatarrows in return for giving them homing properties. As long as the bow's runic sight is kept on target for the locking period of a second, the projectile will eventually strike true. Any arrows fired with these runes active will give off a visible light-blue glow, same as the geometric rune-sight, and swerve to avoid obstacles in their path.

(06-25-2018, 06:17 PM)Shantotto Wrote: I believe you need the buff proficiency to give stuff to another person but don't quote me on this. And with you current state spread I see this being usefull in the start of a fight, paying 900 om for a move just usable at the opening of a fight is idk. Of course this is up to you.

(06-25-2018, 06:21 PM)Link Wrote:

(06-25-2018, 06:17 PM)Shantotto Wrote: I believe you need the buff proficiency to give stuff to another person but don't quote me on this. And with you current state spread I see this being usefull in the start of a fight, paying 900 om for a move just usable at the opening of a fight is idk. Of course this is up to you.

As far as I remember, you don't need buff to give people stuff, only to increase their stats, they just need to have the proper proficiency to use said stuff.

(06-21-2018, 10:22 PM)Demetri Malius Wrote:

(06-18-2018, 08:14 AM)Violet Wrote: [spoiler]
Reforged Hellfire Weapon

After losing her original ability to summon the hellfire daggers, given to her by Yenma, Violet was given a second chance at being able to summon her beloved weapons by a special denizen of the Underverse with the power to create such things. These weapons are made of pure Ki energy bound with a special rock like material she brought back with her from the Underverse and can be summoned at will by Violet. They can take several forms depending on her needs. Usually, they're just a pair of daggers that appear to be forged of red-tinted steel, with a red satin material binding the hilt, but can also take the form of a red steel bladed katana with a similar appearance to the daggers, or a red steel bo stave, a shield, or a pair of glaives. All of these forms have a similar appearance: made of crimson steel with decorative as well as functional grips made of a darker crimson material and black ornament througout. Observers may notice streaks of red energy flowing throughout the weapon and a slight warmth and tingling sensation if touched. It takes a few minutes to summon, and can stay in a form for up to a day before reverting back into the special rock material. 

Each form has its own special property:

Daggers: applies a poison debuff that will inflict minor damage to the opponent over a period of about 15 seconds. (requires debuff proficiency, which I have)

Katana: Gives a temporary boost to her movement speed and allows for attacks that can hit multiple targets within close range (requires burst movement and area attack proficiency, both of which I have)

Glaives: Applies a poison debuff (debuff proficiency) that will inflict minor damage to an opponent over about 15 seconds. Can hit other opponents within close range (area attack proficiency) and can also be used as a somewhat weak barrier (area shield proficiency)

Bo Stave: temporary speed boost (via burst movement), hit multiple targets within close range(area attack proficiency) and used to direct ki bursts towards opponents (ranged proficiency/homing proficiency)

Shield: She can summon a shield in place of one of the daggers to reduce damage from an opponent (area shield proficiency)



Just throwing this out there for after DA so I can get it priced, revised, whatever else I need. I am not sure if this is even the right spot for it haha.
[/spoiler]

Alright, gonna need some specifics here, how long does it take to change in between any of these forms? Some of these say you gain speed boosts, but I don't see any downsides for this? It seems like a free speed up. Burst movement is kind of an unspoken boost to any attack and is unnecessary in their descriptions. Can the poison debuff stack or does it refresh? How large is the shield? How does the glaive protect you and why does it require area shield? Weapon sizes would be very helpful here as well. Can Vi use the shield along with any other forms or just the dagger? How is the Bo stave homing? Once all these are added and more clarity is added I would see this priced at 1500.