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+--- Thread: Move Creation Workshop (/showthread.php?tid=2137)
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Jack Darby - 04-15-2018
The Dark Energon Dagger is a weapon that Unicron created out of Dark Energon. A short weapon with a 15 inch blade that had a gray, and purple wrapped leather handle. The blade is made out of stone, and Dark Energon. This dagger takes him about 3 seconds to manifest. It can clash with the likes of Lightsabers, and similar. However, that is not the only trick that Unicron has up Rafael's sleeve with this. See, these daggers are made to be lighter weight than the sword that Rafael normally wields, and thus more quickly able to be used. Two of them are hidden up each of his sleeves, and one in his boots, as well. Two are belted at his waist. They can be used as throwing weapons, and travel at the speed of an arrow. At present he can have 30 daggers in existence at any time.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 04-15-2018
(04-15-2018, 12:44 PM)Rafael Esquivel Wrote: [Insert your move name, cost, and required profs/powers]
The Dark Energon Dagger is a weapon that Unicron created out of Dark Energon. A short weapon with a 15 inch blade that had a gray, and purple wrapped leather handle. The blade is made out of stone, and Dark Energon. This dagger takes him about 3 seconds to manifest. It can clash with the likes of Lightsabers, and similar. However, that is not the only trick that Unicron has up Rafael's sleeve with this. See, these daggers are made to be lighter weight than the sword that Rafael normally wields, and thus more quickly able to be used [at the cost of being weaker]. Two of them are hidden up each of his sleeves, and one in his boots, as well. Two are belted at his waist. They can be used as throwing weapons, and travel at the speed of an arrow [that're pretty fast to throw a dagger...]. At present he can have 30 daggers in existence at any time.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Jack Darby - 04-16-2018
The Dark Energon Dagger (Physical Strength, Ranged, Master Acrobat 600):
The Dark Energon Dagger is a weapon that Unicron created out of Dark Energon. A short weapon with a 15 inch blade that had a gray, and purple wrapped leather handle. The blade is made out of stone, and Dark Energon. This dagger takes him about 3 seconds to manifest. It can clash with the likes of Lightsabers, and similar. However, that is not the only trick that Unicron has up Rafael's sleeve with this. See, these daggers are made to be lighter weight than the sword that Rafael normally wields, and thus more quickly able to be used at the cost of being weaker. Two of them are hidden up each of his sleeves, and one in his boots, as well. Two are belted at his waist. They can be used as throwing weapons, and travel at the speed of a dodge ball. At present he can have 30 daggers in existence at any time. The Dark Energon Dagger can be used with acrobatic moves, allowing him a wide range of tactics.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Kurusu Akira - 04-17-2018
Chained to Hell Itself (300 OM, requires Debuffing Proficiency): Akira can summon a length of jet-black chain that appears wrapped around his arm and extends up to 20 feet away. The chain is aimed as a projectile and moves about as fast as if Akira had thrown it, albeit in an unnaturally straight line. The chain wraps itself around the first object it hits, restraining it without damaging it or attaching Akira to an inanimate object.
The chain is summoned from Akira's Persona, Arsene, and is thus less a chain than the concept of a chain given form. Breaking it is a matter of recognizing it and deciding to break it, not brute strength: it is sturdiest against accidental strikes and environmental effects, as they lack intent, with the amount of time it takes a deliberate escape attempt to succeed varying by the power of the move used and the difference between Akira's and their TEC.
Maintaining a chain around an inanimate object or willing target (a balcony railing or a willing ally about to fall into a pit, for example) is easy, requiring almost no effort and only restricting Akira to within 20 feet of the target. Restraining an unwilling target adds several restrictions: the increased cost in energy and focus limits Akira to a slow walk and prevents him from using any ability requiring concentration, such as any Magic, summoning a Persona, or reloading his model gun, but does not prevent him from using weapons like said gun or his knife.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - James Knight - 04-19-2018
C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up, and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword, the more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC or DEF than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. This can be used with other moves, and while moving. Does not require much concentration on his part to use.
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon. It requires no concentration on his part to use. It can be used with other moves, or while moving.
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana. This can clash with most blades. It requires little to no concentration for Warren Zimmer to use. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves.
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked.
An orb of power that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 10 seconds creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Move, or a Tier Two or Higher Super move could block it.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-20-2018
(04-16-2018, 06:58 PM)Rafael Esquivel Wrote: The Dark Energon Dagger (Physical Strength, Ranged, Master Acrobat 600):
The Dark Energon Dagger is a weapon that Unicron created out of Dark Energon. A short weapon with a 15 inch blade that had a gray, and purple wrapped leather handle. The blade is made out of stone, and Dark Energon. This dagger takes him about 3 seconds to manifest. It can clash with the likes of Lightsabers, and similar. However, that is not the only trick that Unicron has up Rafael's sleeve with this. See, these daggers are made to be lighter weight than the sword that Rafael normally wields, and thus more quickly able to be used at the cost of being weaker. Two of them are hidden up each of his sleeves, and one in his boots, as well. Two are belted at his waist. They can be used as throwing weapons, and travel at the speed of a dodge ball. At present he can have 30 daggers in existence at any time. The Dark Energon Dagger can be used with acrobatic moves, allowing him a wide range of tactics.
This doesn't need master acrobat. They're just daggers. But, you're good.
(04-17-2018, 10:45 AM)Kurusu Akira Wrote: Chained to Hell Itself (300 OM, requires Debuffing Proficiency): Akira can summon a length of jet-black chain that appears wrapped around his arm and extends up to 20 feet away. The chain is aimed as a projectile and moves about as fast as if Akira had thrown it, albeit in an unnaturally straight line. The chain wraps itself around the first object it hits, restraining it without damaging it or attaching Akira to an inanimate object.
The chain is summoned from Akira's Persona, Arsene, and is thus less a chain than the concept of a chain given form. Breaking it is a matter of recognizing it and deciding to break it, not brute strength: it is sturdiest against accidental strikes and environmental effects, as they lack intent, with the amount of time it takes a deliberate escape attempt to succeed varying by the power of the move used and the difference between Akira's and their TEC.
Maintaining a chain around an inanimate object or willing target (a balcony railing or a willing ally about to fall into a pit, for example) is easy, requiring almost no effort and only restricting Akira to within 20 feet of the target. Restraining an unwilling target adds several restrictions: the increased cost in energy and focus limits Akira to a slow walk and prevents him from using any ability requiring concentration, such as any Magic, summoning a Persona, or reloading his model gun, but does not prevent him from using weapons like said gun or his knife.
Seems alright, but remember you'll need Ranged Prof too (with you didn't list). "with the amount of time it takes a deliberate escape attempt to succeed varying by the power of the move used and the difference between Akira's and their TEC" is also a bit too vague. Give an example for how long you expect it to take. Also, it's a bit unclear whether you plan for this to just wrap around someone's arm or leg or if it'll be wrapping around their body and restraining them even more.
(04-19-2018, 10:39 AM)Warren Zimmer Wrote: C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up [does he have to concentrate to charge up the debuff? are there any restrictions placed on him?], and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword [that will require telepathy, also, how afraid?], the more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC or DEF [remove the DEF part]than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. This can be used with other moves, and while moving. Does not require much concentration on his part to use. [you only need concentration info for the debuff part]
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance [how big is it?]. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon [is it summoned instantly? or does it take time to summon?]. It requires no concentration on his part to use. It can be used with other moves, or while moving.
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
Tier 1 Super Move "Die" - 600 OM, Ranged Proficiency, Homing, Remote Control, Ranged Materialize, Telekineis.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana [how big is it?]. This can clash with most blades. It requires little to no concentration for Warren Zimmer to use. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword [how long can he keep the sword in this mode? because even with a charge time, this reads like you're getting unlimited paralysis attacks]. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves.
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up [does he have to concentrate to charge up the debuff?]. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked.
An orb of power that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 10 seconds creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Move, or a Tier Two [No. Tier 1 or higher super defenses will block your T1 Attack] or Higher Super move could block it.
Warren, when you're writing a standard weapon, you don't need to say how much concentration it requires to use the weapon. That's implied. You only need to include that information for special stuff that can't be done irl. Like charging an attack.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Shantotto - 04-21-2018
Cloak of midnight: 300 OM (Debuff proficiency Area attack) Shantotto focuses her magic for two seconds to create a ring around someone with a diameter up to 15 feet. A wall of jet black magic shoots up 25 feet obscuring anything inside the ring from view. This ring lasts for an initial time of ten seconds, however if Shantotto maintains focus the duration can be extended to twenty seconds. during which Shantotto can only cast her lesser spells like Quake, Flood or Freeze. Anything be it friend or foe or projectile passing through the wall is weakened. Living things are blinded for three seconds after passing through the wall.
The initial charge of ten seconds takes a moderate amount of mana to use and it drains Shantotto as if she performed a 50m dash. further sustaining the of the spell drains at a similar rate.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-21-2018
(04-21-2018, 10:27 AM)Shantotto Wrote: Cloak of midnight: 300 OM ([Ranged Proficiency,] Debuff proficiency Area attack) Shantotto focuses her magic for two seconds to create a ring [this would need ranged materialise] around someone with a diameter up to 15 feet [does it follow them?]. A wall of jet black magic shoots up 25 feet obscuring anything inside the ring from view. This ring lasts for an initial time of ten seconds, however if Shantotto maintains focus the duration can be extended to twenty seconds [this is variable, so would cost 300 more OM]. during which Shantotto can only cast her lesser spells like Quake, Flood or Freeze. Anything be it friend or foe or projectile passing through the wall is weakened [this would need area defense to weaken projectiles]. Living things are blinded for three seconds after passing through the wall.
The initial charge of ten seconds takes a moderate amount of mana to use and it drains Shantotto as if she performed a 50m dash. further sustaining the of the spell drains at a similar rate.
This does too much for too little. It creates a "wall", that weakens attacks that go through it. It stops people from seeing inside or outside. Blinds anyone what touches the wall. Applies a weakness debuff to people that go through the walls. And, it doesn't even restrict the use of your other moves while active, giving you a lot for just 2 seconds of your time.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Shantotto - 04-21-2018
If I reduced it down to
Cloak of midnight: 300 OM (Ranged Proficiency / Debuff proficiency / Area attack /ranged materialize ) Shantotto focuses her magic for four seconds to create a ring around someone with a diameter up to 15 feet. This ring is static and does not move. A wall of jet black magic shoots up 25 feet along the ring obscuring anything inside the ring from view. This ring lasts for an initial time of ten seconds. during which Shantotto can only walk and use her stardust rod. Any friend or foe passing through the wall is would feel nausea and slight weakness similar to if one had the flu for 5 seconds. Living things are blinded for three seconds after passing through the wall. This spell has a 45 foot range.
This spell does no damage.
The initial charge of ten seconds takes a moderate amount of mana to use and it drains Shantotto as if she performed a 50m dash. further sustaining the of the spell drains at a similar rate.
would that be better?
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-21-2018
Yeah, you're good.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - James Knight - 04-21-2018
C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword he more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease.In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. This can be used with other moves, and while moving.
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance [how big is it?]. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon but is summoned instantly. It requires no concentration on his part to use. It can be used with other moves, or while moving.
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana with a 1 foot long blade. This can clash with most blades. It requires little to no concentration for Warren Zimmer to use. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword which he can keep it in for six seconds. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves.
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up though he needn't concentrate. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked.
An orb of power that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 10 seconds creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Move, or a Tier Two [No. Tier 1 or higher super defenses will block your T1 Attack] or Higher Super move could block it.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-21-2018
(04-21-2018, 08:55 PM)Warren Zimmer Wrote: C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up [can he move while charging? can he use other moves while charging or execute masic attacks and blocks? does he have to concentrate?] and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword he more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease.In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. This can be used with other moves, and while moving. [remove]
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance [how big is it?]. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon but is summoned instantly. It requires no concentration on his part to use. It can be used with other moves, or while moving. [remove]
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.Tier 1 Super Move "Die" - 600 OM, Ranged Proficiency, Homing, Remote Control, Ranged Materialize, Telekineis.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana with a 1 foot long blade. This can clash with most blades. It requires little to no concentration for Warren Zimmer to use. [remove] The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword. [can he move while activating it? can he use other moves or execute masic attacks and blocks while activating it? does he have to concentrate to activate it?]
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword [can he move while swapping modes? can he use other moves or execute masic attacks and blocks while swapping modes? does he have to concentrate to swap modes?] which he can keep it in for six seconds. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves.
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up though he needn't concentrate. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds [how long can the sword stay in this mode?]. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked. [needs more drawbacks, taking time to activate while not inhibiting your fighting abilities during the charge time is a very weak drawback. If he concentrated heavily during the charge time, then you'd be good.]
An orb of power [how big is the orb?] that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 10 seconds [you can reduce that number] creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Move, or a Tier Two or Higher Super move could block it.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - James Knight - 04-22-2018
C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up [can he move while charging? can he use other moves while charging or execute masic attacks and blocks? does he have to concentrate?] and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword he more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease.In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. This can be used with other moves, and while moving. [remove]
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance, with a one foot long blade. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon but is summoned instantly.
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana with a 1 foot long blade. This can clash with most blades. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword. This can be used with other moves, it can also be used with other basic moves while Saber Mode is in use, provided he has a hand free.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword which he can keep it in for six seconds. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves. While swapping modes, he can use other moves, provided he keep a hand free.
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up though he needn't concentrate. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds, after wich he can maintain the move for about 5 seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked. This also completely paralyzes him - preventing the use of any and all moves, or even basic movement for 5 seconds - allowing an opponent to whail on him should they be able to execute that vulnerability.
Tier 1 Super Move "Die" - 600 OM, Ranged Proficiency, Homing, Remote Control, Ranged Materialize, Telekineis.
An orb of purple energy that is the size of an inflatable beachball that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 2 seconds eating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Move, or a Tier Two or Higher Super move could block it.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-22-2018
(04-22-2018, 03:28 PM)Warren Zimmer Wrote: C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up [can he move while charging? can he use other moves while charging or execute masic attacks and blocks? does he have to concentrate?] and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword [feels like you're missing a few words here] he more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease.In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. This can be used with other moves, and while moving. [remove]
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance, with a one foot long blade. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon but is summoned instantly.
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana with a 1 foot long blade. This can clash with most blades. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword. [can he move while activating it? can he use other moves or execute masic attacks and blocks while activating it? does he have to concentrate to activate it?] This can be used with other moves, it can also be used with other basic moves while Saber Mode is in use, provided he has a hand free.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword which he can keep it in for six seconds. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves. While swapping modes, he can use other moves, provided he keep a hand free. [needs more drawbacks like for concentration to be required when swapping to the mode]
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up though he needn't concentrate. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds, after wich he can maintain the move for about 5 seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked. This also completely paralyzes him [when? after it runs out? dude, just make it require concentration to swap to the fire mode] - preventing the use of any and all moves, or even basic movement for 5 seconds - allowing an opponent to whail on him should they be able to execute that vulnerability.
Tier 1 Super Move "Die" - 600 OM, Ranged Proficiency, Homing [from the looks of this, you control it, so you can remove the homing bit], Remote Control, Ranged Materialize, Telekineis.
An orb of purple energy that is the size of an inflatable beachball that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 2 seconds eating [??!!!] it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Move, or a Tier Two or Higher Super move could block it. [what range does this have? also, you make it sound like it explodes, is there a blast radius or does it just hit that one person?]
Basically meaningless drawbacks:
>Cooldowns. There's no limit to how many moves you can get, so cooldowns are not a viable drawback in most cases. And, often, for something already with a charge time, a cooldown is meaningless since you wouldn't need to use it that often anyway. They're usually just a fluff thing to emphasise that your character won't spam the attack.
Comparatively weak drawbacks:
>Charge times that don't require any concentration, since it's literally just a delay before you can use the move rather than anything inhibiting. Yeah, some people might look at some of your moves above and think "but he has a charge time, why does it need more drawbacks?". The reason for that is because his charge time is essentially "I get a free attack in 5 seconds" rather than "I need to spend 5 seconds charging my power". This is a valid drawback in some cases, but usually, it won't be. It depends.
Stronger drawbacks:
>Requiring concentration during a charge time, whether it's a lot of a bit. A 5 second charge time where you can dodge as normal but not attack is basically saying "this is 5 seconds worth of damage/effects all at once". A 5-second charge where you've got to be stationary and can't use any moves is saying "here's a lot of damage/effects, more than I would usually be able to dish out in 5 seconds".
For your moves, you should really be using the last option. Yeah, drawbacks like self-paralysis are valid. But keep it basic, Warren. Just stick with one of these:
"Takes <time> seconds to charge. While charging <character> has to concentrate completely and cannot move."
"Takes <time> seconds to charge. While charging <character> has to focus but can still dodge and block."
"Takes <time> seconds to charge. While charging <character> has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements."
RE: Move Creation Workshop - James Knight - 04-22-2018
C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up during which he is completely paralyzed and cannot move, dodge, block, attack or even speak due to it requiring his full concentration and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword he more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease.In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. Takes eight seconds to charge. While charging Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements.
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance, with a one foot long blade. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon but is summoned instantly.
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana with a 1 foot long blade. This can clash with most blades. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword. This can be used with other moves, it can also be used with other basic moves while Saber Mode is in use, provided he has a hand free.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword which he can keep it in for six seconds. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves. While swapping modes, he can only move around but cannot attack, and can barely defend himself - only able to evade and not use moves. Takes eight seconds to charge. While charging Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements.
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up though he needn't concentrate. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds, after wich he can maintain the move for about 5 seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked. Takes eight seconds to charge. While charging Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements.
Quote:An orb of purple energy that is the size of an inflatable beachball that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 2 seconds creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Defense, or higher could block it. The explosion has a radius of ten feet with the opponent in the center. Takes eight seconds to charge. While charging Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-22-2018
(04-22-2018, 04:12 PM)Warren Zimmer Wrote: C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the sword is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up during which he has to focus completely and cannot move, dodge, block, attack or even speak due to it requiring his full concentration. The debuff simply causes people to be more afraid of the sword each time they are hit with it. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease at first, but a few solid hits will make them want to run away. They can still attack Warren, but are compelled to keep their distance. The sword maintains this fear effect for 5 seconds, and anyone affected will slowly become less scared over the course of 15 seconds of not being hit. The strength of the debuff is based on Warren's TEC and the opponent's, with anyone with double Warren's TEC becoming immune while someone with half his TEC will likely try to flee after a small scratch. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use.
Tier 1 Super Move "Die" [Add the cost and profs/powers needed]
An orb of purple energy that is the size of an inflatable beachball that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 2 seconds creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Defense, or higher could block it. The explosion has a radius of ten feet with the opponent in the center. Takes eight seconds to charge. While charging Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements.
Warren, please. If you don't understand something I said, say so. Don't just ignore the comment and leave things as is. I can understand missing some things I say every so often, but I won't keep providing comments here if you just blow them off without even acknowledging them. I know some notes I've added have been completely ignored about 3 times in a row or more at times. Maybe I overlooked something, maybe I didn't. But, either way, I won't know unless you tell me. Heck, in some instances you left my comments inside your move description without acting on them. Please take the time to preview your posts and read through them before you hit send, it can make a world of difference.
I'll get to your Chained/Unchained Chaos moves later. I added in edits for your fear sword. Those should work. Or change it to suit your needs if you want.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - James Knight - 04-22-2018
Sorry about that. Today has been hectic. Anyway, time to take a crack at it again, and try to get those moves added. Got a lot of moves to make for Warren Zimmer tonight.
C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the sword is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up during which he has to focus completely and cannot move, dodge, block, attack or even speak due to it requiring his full concentration. The debuff simply causes people to be more afraid of the sword each time they are hit with it. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease at first, but a few solid hits will make them want to run away. They can still attack Warren, but are compelled to keep their distance. The sword maintains this fear effect for 5 seconds, and anyone affected will slowly become less scared over the course of 15 seconds of not being hit. The strength of the debuff is based on Warren's TEC and the opponent's, with anyone with double Warren's TEC becoming immune while someone with half his TEC will likely try to flee after a small scratch. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use.
Tier 1 Super Move "Die" (600, Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack, Debuff)
An orb of purple energy that is the size of an inflatable beachball that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 2 seconds creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Defense, or higher could block it. The explosion has a radius of ten feet with the opponent in the center. Takes eight seconds to charge. While charging Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements. The explosion could cause a concussion for 20 seconds, should the opponent be at dead center of the opponent.
Palm Blast (300, Ranged Profiency):
This requires moderate concentration, meaning he can still use other moves, as long as they do not require his full focus, and concentration. In addition, he can still move around while using Palm Blast. However, charging up Palm Blast prevents him from doing more than basic attacks, or movements, until such time as the Palm Blast is charged up. This is a purple energy blast that is 2 x 2 feet in diameter. The blast appears to be made out of a purple energy. The blast can travel at the speed of an arrow. This is moderately draining on his stamina, akin to a jog around the block. This also paralyzes his right hand for 3 seconds, upon successful completion, because it will cause him agonizing pain.
Palm Blast x 2 (300, Ranged Proficiency):
This requires moderate concentration, meaning he can still use other moves, as long as they do not require his full focus, and concentration. In addition, he can still move around while using Palm Blast. However, charging up Palm Blast prevents him from doing more than basic attacks, or movements, until such time as the Palm Blast is charged up. This is a purple energy blast that is 2 x 2 feet in diameter. The blast appears to be made out of a purple energy. The blast can travel at the speed of an arrow. This is moderately draining on his stamina, akin to a jog around the block. The only difference between this, and a single Palm Blast is that it has a bit more recoil, causing him to be unable to use an arm for about 7 seconds. However, due to that difficulty he is capable of shooting out two of these blasts simultaneously.
Palm Blast x 3 (300, Rannged Proficiency)
This requires moderate concentration, meaning he can still use other moves, as long as they do not require his full focus, and concentration. In addition, he can still move around while using Palm Blast. However, charging up Palm Blast prevents him from doing more than basic attacks, or movements, until such time as the Palm Blast is charged up. This is a purple energy blast that is 2 x 2 feet in diameter. The blast appears to be made out of a purple energy. The blast can travel at the speed of an arrow. This is moderately draining on his stamina, akin to a jog around the block. The only difference between this, and a single Palm Blast is that it has a bit more recoil, causing him to be unable to use an arm for about 7 seconds. However, due to that difficulty he is capable of shooting out three of these blasts simultaneously.
Palm Blast x 4: (300, Ranged Proficiency):
This requires moderate concentration, meaning he can still use other moves, as long as they do not require his full focus, and concentration. In addition, he can still move around while using Palm Blast. However, charging up Palm Blast prevents him from doing more than basic attacks, or movements, until such time as the Palm Blast is charged up. This is a purple energy blast that is 2 x 2 feet in diameter. The blast appears to be made out of a purple energy. The blast can travel at the speed of an arrow. This is moderately draining on his stamina, akin to a jog around the block. The only difference between this, and a single Palm Blast is that it has a bit more recoil, causing him to be unable to use an arm for about 7 seconds. However, due to that difficulty he is capable of shooting out four of these blasts simultaneously.
Headbutt (300, Physical, Debuff)
This takes Warren about 3 seconds to execute on an opponent. It involves mashing his head into the skull of his opponent. As he is normally wearing a helmet this causes an opponent to have a concussion that allows them to do basic moves, but would block any actual moves, or weapons they have that are not super moves, provided their TEC is lower than Warren's, for 8 seconds. It likewise gives Warren a headache that prevents him from doing this again for thirty five seconds, and makes him have to attack twice with the same attack for 10 seconds to be accurate on an opponent. This can be used with other moves.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-24-2018
(04-22-2018, 04:12 PM)Warren Zimmer Wrote: Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance, with a one foot long blade. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon but is summoned instantly. [Combine this move with unchained chaos]
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana with a 1 foot long blade. This can clash with most blades. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword [does this require concentration? can he move or use other moves at the same time?]. This can be used with other moves, it can also be used with other basic moves while Saber Mode is in use, provided he has a hand free.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword which he can keep it in for six seconds. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves. While swapping to this mode, he can only move around but cannot attack, and can barely defend himself - only able to evade and not use moves. Takes eight seconds to charge. While charging Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements. [Remove this bit]
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up though he needn't concentrate. [Remove this bit] Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds, after which he can maintain the move for about 5 seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent [this buff is too specific, why concentrating on sword moves? . However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked. Takes eight seconds to charge. [Remove] While changing to this move, Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements.
(04-22-2018, 09:27 PM)Warren Zimmer Wrote: Sorry about that. Today has been hectic. Anyway, time to take a crack at it again, and try to get those moves added. Got a lot of moves to make for Warren Zimmer tonight.
C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the sword is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up during which he has to focus completely and cannot move, dodge, block, attack or even speak due to it requiring his full concentration. The debuff simply causes people to be more afraid of the sword each time they are hit with it. The fear effect just makes them feel mildly at unease at first, but a few solid hits will make them want to run away. They can still attack Warren, but are compelled to keep their distance. The sword maintains this fear effect for 5 seconds, and anyone affected will slowly become less scared over the course of 15 seconds of not being hit. The strength of the debuff is based on Warren's TEC and the opponent's, with anyone with double Warren's TEC becoming immune while someone with half his TEC will likely try to flee after a small scratch. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. [Did you even change anything from the version I gave you? Anyway, this is good.]
Tier 1 Super Move "Die" (600, Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack, Debuff)
An orb of purple energy that is the size of an inflatable beachball that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 2 seconds creating it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Defense, or higher could block it. The explosion has a radius of ten feet with the opponent in the center. Takes eight seconds to charge. [Remove] While creating the orb Warren has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements. The explosion could cause a concussion for 20 seconds, should the opponent be at dead center of the opponent.
[Remove your debuff and this'll be good.]
Palm Blast (300, Ranged Profiency):
[I'll comment on Palm Blast once you put it all into one move]
Headbutt (300, Physical, Debuff)
This takes Warren about 3 seconds to execute on an opponent. It involves mashing his head into the skull of his opponent. As he is normally wearing a helmet this causes an opponent to have a concussion that allows them to do basic moves, but would block any actual moves, or weapons they have that are not super moves, provided their TEC is lower than Warren's, for 8 seconds. It likewise gives Warren a headache that prevents him from doing this again for thirty five seconds, and makes him have to attack twice with the same attack for 10 seconds to be accurate on an opponent. This can be used with other moves.
[I suggest you reread this, rewrite it, and make it simpler with just a normal attack, debuff, and standard drawbacks]
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Handsome Jack - 04-27-2018
Tier 1 Super Utility: Acid Pain
![[Image: Relic.png]](http://www.cytokineindustries.com/chevereto/images/2018/04/27/Relic.png)
After years of dedicated research, Jack has discovered the means to create Eridium Relics of his own design. Acid Pain is one such Relic. When activated, it bestows an Acid element to all of Jack's basic weaponry (standard Moves which deal damage). This Acid element provides no benefit when used against an opponent's actual body, but munitions with an Acid coating deal additional damage to the environment and to protection barriers ("shield" type Moves). It takes roughly one second to activate the Relic and it lasts for a short duration (approximately 1 round), though Jack can maintain the effect by continuing to power the Relic (spend SP).
Seem weak, strong, or balanced?
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 04-27-2018
(04-27-2018, 08:12 PM)Handsome Jack Wrote: Seem weak, strong, or balanced?
I can't really make a judgement on that without knowing how much more damage it does to shields compared to people. It's too vague.