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+--- Thread: Move Creation Workshop (/showthread.php?tid=2137)
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 12-07-2017
As 13 said. 500m is a bit big, even if the effect is tame. 100m would be fine dude. And yeah, you need area attack.
For the fodder move, you're probably good. It's just a cosmetic item with no impact on anything. But remember, that ain't gonna keep you incognito on higher tiers.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Takanomiya Hijiri - 12-08-2017
Area Attack's description from the Proficiencies and Powers Rules page (key words in bold):
Quote:Allows you to create offensive moves with a wide area of effect, such an explosive that damages multiple enemies, or a beam wider than three feet in diameter. While the strength of wider attacks are diluted, or require more energy, they are very useful for dealing indiscriminate damage to a wider area and catching swift opponents.I at first wasn't sure myself, but after reading the 'WAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!' move I noticed that that one doesn't list AA as a pre-req, so I reckon this shouldn't need it either...
I guess I can reduce the range to 100m... you sure they wouldn't let it through at 200m or 150m though...?
There are football pitches longer than 100m, y'know? It's really not that far.
tare: And are those the only issues you guys see then?
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 12-08-2017
@Hijiri: Area Defense. I meant Area Defense, sorry.
And, yeah, it is a fairly weak effect. But remember 100m is the radius here. So, you'd still be covering a 200m area, which is very large. I guess not everyone would be covered if the fight got really split up, or there was a really big forces battle. Usually, though, 100m is probably the biggest I reckon. Since even if it was balanced, it kinda feels like some epic level stuff.
Lastly, I think you should have a slight clarification on whether or not he can move/attack while in the stance, and any rough time constraints.
Besides that, you're good.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Takanomiya Hijiri - 12-08-2017
But... it isn't a shield or healing effect either...
Again... the 'WAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!' move doesn't use that Proficiency, and this is just an altered version of that...
RE: Move Creation Workshop - 13-Jzall - 12-08-2017
Unrelated: are my moves probably good or should I edit them some more?
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 12-08-2017
@Hijiri: I guess you're right... I thought that area buffs need area defence. But I can't find any examples for ya with some quick searches.
@13: I think you should give them a reread, and go down the move checklist. While also considering any ambiguities that might remain.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Takanomiya Hijiri - 12-08-2017
Sweet. Thanks.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Alex Mercer - 12-10-2017
OLD
Quote:Claws: Alex shifts the biomass in one of his hands into a four-digit blade like structure. The change effects his entire arm, taking on a wicked, sickly black form. The transformation takes three seconds, but is not fatiguing in itself and he can move about normally during this time. The claws are fast and agile, requiring minor fatigue to use, making them his go-to weapon. They don't fair well against higher defense, and are more meant for minor slashing damage, perfect against unarmored targets.
NEW
Quote:Claws: Alex shifts the biomass in one of his hands into a four-digit blade like structure. The change effects his entire arm, taking on a wicked, sickly black form. The transformation takes three seconds, but is not fatiguing in itself and he can move about normally during this time. The claws are fast and agile, requiring minor fatigue to use, making them his go-to weapon. Though the claws are lethal and can deal moderate damage while remaining quite fast, the great speed and strength behind each blow is counteracted by the lower density of the biomass of the hand and arm. The claws are tough, but the rest is exceptionally vulnerable (Half Defense). If he is not careful, he can be disarmed of his claws entirely.
Basically magnifying the strength and maintaining the speed, at the cost of lower defense of an entire limb. This might lead to dismemberment. I think it sounds pretty good and straight forward, like ripping through a phone book vs ripping one page.
Downsides:
Half Defense from shoulder down
3 Second Cooldown
Upsides:
Moderate Damage
Fast Attack Speed
Should I bump it up or nerf it, or does this look pretty good?
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 12-11-2017
@Alex: I don't see the cooldown that you mentioned in the summary, did you mean charge time?
Also, I know this is a basic melee move, but always add your cost and proficiencies.
Besides that, yeah. I don't think it's unbalanced. Just remember the main strength will come from your stats for multiple use melee weapons. If you wanted them to be stronger, I think adding a durability and letting him remake the claws would be a better option. Strong and fast, but brittle or something. If you think this is fine, go for it.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Alex Mercer - 12-13-2017
I did mean charge time, I'm a bit of an airhead at times.
OLD
Quote:Claws:
Req: Physical
Alex shifts the biomass in one of his hands into a four-digit blade like structure. The change effects his entire arm, taking on a wicked, sickly black form. The transformation takes three seconds, but is not fatiguing in itself and he can move about normally during this time. The claws are fast and agile, requiring minor fatigue to use, making them his go-to weapon. They don't fair well against higher defense, and are more meant for minor slashing damage, perfect against unarmored targets.
NEW
Quote:Claws:
Req: Physical
Alex shifts the biomass in one of his hands into a four-digit blade like structure. The change effects his entire arm, taking on a wicked, sickly black form. The transformation takes three seconds, but is not fatiguing in itself and he can move about normally during this time. The claws are fast and agile, requiring minor fatigue to use, making them his go-to weapon. Though the claws are lethal and can deal a great amount damage against softer targets while remaining quite fast, the great speed and strength behind each blow is counteracted by the lower density of the biomass of the hand and arm. From the shoulder down is a weak point, the lighter density Biomass is tightly woven to give a combination of speed and strength, but its defense is lowered by half. The claws maintain a slightly higher Defense, but through wear and tear the blades become dull or chipped, reducing their damage over time. Cutting tougher materials dulls the blades more than softer targets. Mercer can reforge them, but it takes the three seconds of non-use as if he were creating them for the first time. This does not heal any damage to the arm.
Bumped Damage again, added a decreasing yield over number of uses and a Renewal time equal to the Charge time, during which the weapon cannot be used.
Downsides:
Half Defense from shoulder down
Wear and tear on the blades, reduces damage
3 Second Charge
3 Second Renewal
Upsides:
High Damage
Fast Attack Speed
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 12-13-2017
Quote:Also, I know this is a basic melee move, but always add your cost and proficiencies.
Besides that, I think you should give a rough baseline for how much usage the claws have.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Takanomiya Hijiri - 12-14-2017
(12-13-2017, 05:47 PM)Ebonywood Hellscythe Wrote: Besides that, I think you should give a rough baseline for how much usage the claws have.
You want more information? This is getting ridiculous... guys, it's just claws.
@Alex, you know you don't need big drawbacks for something this basic, right?
Look, here's an example of an already-approved claws move I got for my Alt:
Quote:Resilient China Claws (300)
(Physical Strength)
China has four five-fingered hands and two four-toed feet. Each of his digits is tipped by a razor-sharp, two-inch-long talon. Unlike most of China's body, these claws are as hard as diamond, and so can safely be used as weapons without breaking.
You don't need to mention how tiring they are to use, as it's assumed to be about as much as scratching someone... since they're just claws.
Yours should require a description of the transformation, the appearance of his arm, and the appearance of the claws themselves, including their length.
That last point is the most important. I'd also highly recommend including an image, since you are playing a non-original character and as such these things are easily available... a picture is worth a thousand words, y'know?
Here's what I would recommend (I'm omitting all the unnecessary drawbacks, but if you really want those then feel free to add them back in):
Quote:Claws (300)
(Physical Strength)
[spoiler][/spoiler]
Alex shifts the biomass in one of his hands into a four-digit, blade-like structure, with each 'claw' being approximately one and a half feet in length. The change effects his entire arm, causing it to take on a form resembling numerous wicked, sickly black tendrils wrapped around one another. The transformation takes three seconds, but requires no Focus, is not Fatiguing in itself, and he can move about normally during this time. The claws are slightly less durable than normal daggers, however if their blades do wear down or break during combat, Mercer can simply repeat the three-second transformation to repair or replace them.
That might not be the best image, it was just one I found quickly on Google Images... if you do decide to include one, you might want to have a more thorough look yourself to see if you can get anything better.
Also, I've based the length off the picture I included, however in some others the blades are shown to be longer or shorter, so you might want to change that, i dunno.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Alex Mercer - 12-14-2017
The only difference from the original is the inclusion of length and the omission of speed or damage.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Ebonywood Hellscythe - 12-14-2017
Mercer could use the move you suggested, Hijiri.
Also, I guess yeah, all Alex really needs on his last move is a length.
But I still think a rough comment on approximate durability would be nice.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Takanomiya Hijiri - 12-14-2017
(12-14-2017, 04:06 AM)Alex Mercer Wrote: The only difference from the original is the inclusion of length and the omission of speed or damage.I also omitted the 'half your DEF' thing, since you don't need such a big drawback for such a simple move.
EDIT: Oh yeah, from the Original, not the edited version.
Yeah, you're right. For simple physical moves like this, knowing the dimensions & appearance is more important than explicitly stating the energy costs.
Also, if you want to go with Eb's suggestion and include a more precise durability measurement, instead of saying 'The claws are slightly less durable than normal daggers', as I wrote in my previous example, you could instead go with 'The claws are about as durable as if they were made from copper' ... though you could substitute the word 'copper' for tin, aluminium or any other weaker-than-steel metal of your choice.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Jams Bolero - 12-24-2017
Time for a revise~
Violet Arm
300 OM
Requires:
-Physical Strength Proficiency
-Telekinesis
---
Jams utilizes his ability to manipulate gravity in order to enhance his fighting ability. This method involves him applying gravitational force to his arms, and thus applying force to whatever gets in their way.
APPEARANCE: Jams punches in a given direction, his arm enveloped in a purple glow which blurs forward along with his fist. The more gravity that is applied, the stronger the purple glow around his arm. While he uses purple magic, the irises of his eyes turn purple, the shade of which also determined by how much force is applied.
UTILIZATION: Jams punches, simple enough. The strength of the punch is based on how much force he uses. The following descriptions are based against a 2 def. prime.
-He can punch harder to deal more damage, at the cost of a longer windup. A safe, strong punch of about 3-4 damage would probably take 3 seconds.
-He can punch hard AND fast, but at the risk of physical injury. A regular punch (1, maybe 2 damage if lucky) takes 2/3 to 1 second to wind-up. A strong punch at that speed would do the same damage, but there is a good chance he could injure or even break his arm or hand. This usually happens if he's punching awkwardly into open air,
-Naturally, a 2/3 sec punch which deals 2-3 damage would pack less of a... er... do less damage, but it would also be safer to do (though a lower risk of injury =/= no risk of injury).
[Pros]
-Deals more damage per hit
-Can be used to move heavy objects
-Used to balance if unsteady
[Cons]
-Stronger punches are more obvious
-Improper winding up can disorient the user and potentially cause harm
-Overexertion of magic is always a risk, use with caution
OTHER NOTES: Jams would probably take about a half to 2/3 of a second to punch by default.
Note: Additional damage notes are not definite, but a helpful way of illustrating a basic premise. Actual values may vary based on innumerable factors.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Dane Regan - 12-24-2017
@Jams:
Quote:A safe, strong punch of about 3-4 damage would probably take 3 seconds.No.
T1 super attacks do 1-3 damage (depends on the foes DEF and your ATK), so those numbers are unreasonable. I'd expect you could easily use this move more than seven times in a fight . Also, we don't write how much damage something does in the move. You can describe it as weak, or powerful if you want, but not "it does X damage". The exception to this is when you want a move to have a definite recoil. Like "1 hp to use" or something - but even those moves don't say how much damage they do to opponents. Although that's not required for such moves. (See Dane's "Break a Leg", that's a strong move - similar to yours - with recoil).
Essentially, go through the move and remove the damage numbers.
Also, this move has multiple variants. Moves cost 300 OM per variability - since otherwise you'd effectively be getting an additional move for free. This move should cost 600 OM.
I'd further suggest that you base your descriptions of foes with a DEF equal to your ATK (which may happen to be 2, but I'd write this instead - that way the description will be more useful for if your stats change). For a pure damage move, this isn't required though. You're overcomplicating this a bit. Try going through the moves page of the rules again. There's also a checklist there for everything you need to include that might help.
Lastly, I don't see why this needs telekinesis. Maybe as flavour (like using telekinesis on his own arm), but since you're not manipulating anything at range it's not required. If the punches had a strong knockback, I could understand the need for it. But, as it stands, this currently only needs physical proficiency.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Takanomiya Hijiri - 12-24-2017
Like Dane said, people generally don't like you using actual numbers to state damage... they like to pretend that Super Moves aren't grossly underpowered.
That said, if you make a comparison with something else, you can get around this... for example, characters with 4 ATK are said in the Rules to be capable of breaking concrete with normal moves, so if Jams had 4 ATK you could have said that his Violet Arm could have cracked a stone wall... which of course would also have meant being able to break (or at least fracture) the bones of any character with 2 or less DEF, since stone is stronger than normal human bones.
Since you only have 2 ATK, though, and the strength of telekinetic attacks is based on the ATK stat just the same as normal swords and guns, you're not likely going to be able to do anything that impressive... not easily, at least... however, as normal people without superhuman strength have been demonstrated, IRL, to be capable of, say, breaking through five inches of wood in a single punch, there's no reason why Jams couldn't have a move that powerful... provided he had a long enough charge-up or other drawback (the 3-second build-up you gave in your move should be plenty).
Also, if you want to write a move like this as actually using TK in character, that would require TK... but if you're calling it gravity manipulation then it wouldn't.
Though obviously this doesn't make much difference to you as you have Adv. TK anyway...
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Jams Bolero - 12-24-2017
Perhaps I should return to this, then, when I have a better idea of how to utilize it. I just remembered Jams has ranged proficiency, so I'ma try making a simple move and then building upon it.
Broom Head Toss
300 OM
Jams unscrews the head of his broom (or picks it up if screwed off during battle) and throws it at his opponent. The head itself is about 9 inches from the bristles to the base, and a foot wide. It weighs 10 ounces. The base is made of a hard plastic akin to a quality Nerf gun, and the bristles are rigid and pointy. It can be thrown when stationary or mobile, though moving will have an impact on accuracy. When thrown, it can reach up to about 30 feet away in an arc motion at the relative speed of 15 feet per second. This is a fairly weak attack.
RE: Move Creation Workshop - Takanomiya Hijiri - 12-24-2017
That should get approved easily enough...
Are you sure you don't want it to be a bit less... inconsequential, though?